%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 |
 Well, not so much fun and leisure as...get some damn writing done, you fool! |
|
A while ago, I attended a writers' workshop and the lady who hosted it told us all to go away with this bit of advice - to write for just ten minutes a day. I was determined to go ahead with it and I did...for two days. So today I remembered that I'd resolved to do so and I whipped out my journal and wrote for fifteen minutes. I'm typing out pretty much the same thing that I wrote earlier, with some differences. I find I can go a lot more in-depth when I'm typing than when I'm writing by hand. Writing by hand is such a chore! I've struggled with loneliness a lot throughout my twenty-nine years. I struggled with it when I was the only one home with my mum when I was a teen and everybody else had other places to be. I struggled with it after marriage and when we moved into our own house for the first time. I struggled with it after my son was born and I felt torn between pursuing my writing and being a good mum, because my culture seems to indicate that a woman has absolutely no chance of living her own life - or at least, she has no chance of attaining any goals she hasn't already attained - once she has children. I feel it occasionally still, even though I get so little time to myself nowadays that any alone time is simply awesome. I've tried to come to terms with the idea that being alone isn't a bad thing - and a lot of the time, it isn't. My friends don't live nearby so I don't get to see them often, and even when I do, I feel like there isn't much depth to our conversations. I'm surrounded by people who do not think like me, who do not share any of my interests and hobbies. I feel like I've become desensitised to isolation. Loneliness is my preferred way to be. I walked into my college cafeteria at lunch today and it was the usual hubbub of activity. Youngsters walking around, chatting animatedly, shouting across the room, laughing, eating, socialising. I could recall how that clamour wouldn't have bothered me ten-twelve years ago, when I would have been one of the youngsters talking excitedly with her friends. But, as this moment, I just found an out-of-the-way little table and sat down. I watched the crowds for a while, wondering why it was only at moments like these that the sense of isolation became so strong. In the middle of a crowd, I feel most alone. |
| 22:44 I never go into a weekend with a fixed idea of what I want to do. On Saturdays, I head over to my mum's so I'm usually idle and accomplish nothing except the items on my daily checklist. This also happens to be why I update my blog so late on Saturdays - either I'll do it super early before I leave or super late after I return. I wasn't able to update it earlier as I had guests over and they left a while before I headed out for my mum's. Guests are always a nice surprise since people rarely come to my house. Saying that, I'm expecting a visit from my friend tomorrow. We'll be meeting again after like three months, and we're supposed to be best mates. It was hard enough when she lived twenty minutes away by car. Since she got married, it's become double that and I detest driving out of town. I lack confidence behind the wheel and barely manage driving locally (sometimes not even then). So that's my current weekend. On a general weekend, I would spend my Sunday at home. Dean has his vaccines tomorrow too so I'll have to get out to take him to the vets. I have promised myself that I'll make my Sundays a day out for my little one, just the two of us. He's so enamoured by buses since he's never been on one. He's been on a train once. There are lots of places to explore. I'm thinking, since I want to home school him, I should get in the habit now of taking him to different places. As for the last part of the prompt - if I had 48 hours to spend as I wished, what would I do? - my first thought was go to sleep late and wake up whenever I want, but I don't really mind getting up early on a morning. I just wish I had more sleep. If I didn't have a child, I would definitely try to go to sleep earlier so I could get up earlier. As it is, I sleep late and wake up early. I would also like to spend a couple days just chilling, without worrying about meeting the needs of a small human being. Last night, till about four in the morning, I was lying awake in bed thinking about a new story idea and the whole time, there was a nagging little voice in the back of my head saying "go to sleep! You'll have to be up soon!" But I allowed myself to indulge. It was actually sort of like playing a movie in my head - I was thinking about the direction of this story and how it would play out and the different paths it could take. It's such a rare thing for me to feel nowadays that I just let it pull me along, even if I did end up getting only three hours of sleep as a result. If I had 48 hours to kill, I'd like to spend more time doing that :) 23:03 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
)
