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1,499 Public Reviews Given
1,744 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I like to be honest and write about how I feel and what I see. It doesn't mean I'm always right - it means I'm telling you how your work affects me. I'll try to tell you the good with the bad, but don't expect fluff. Fluff sucks.
I'm good at...
Looking at format, spelling and some punctuation...except commas. I hate commas.
Least Favorite Genres
Technical essays, overly detailed fantasies and poetry.
I will not review...
Items that show no obvious effort at editing before promoting for review. If you spell "i" instead of "I", I will close the page and not review it. We're not idiots here.
Public Reviews
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Review of GROW  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Onyx: a PURPLE MANIAC!

This poem is a true gem. I was surprised, it started out as a classic form describing the magic of Spring but turned and became something much deeper. I really enjoyed reading this and can appreciate its depth and imagery. It gives one hope. I'd love to read more like this in your port.

No suggestions for edit *Cut*:

Overall, beautiful work. Kudos.

Regards,
Kim
Angel dream sig won in auction
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Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi silverfeathers

Very cool image! I especially like the highlight (or reverse shadow) on the shapes. The butterfly looked as though it was hard to color with the blended color in it. I can appreciate the small details like the thorns on the stem and the blue butterfly. The only criticism I have is for the second and third line of text, it doesn't stand out as strongly as the foreground images. One would assume you wanted the text to be of most importance since it is a cover image for a story.

Overall, beautiful work.

Regards,
Kim
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Review of Behind sad eyes  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Ducttape Knight

An excellent rendition of a vampire's making. The special twist was your image of "sad eyes", which was very clever. I enjoyed the read. Perhaps you'll write more of Aurora's story, you've created an interesting character.

A suggestion for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*Paragraph 10/12 - Some of your text is in italics which is not dialog.

Overall, a lovely short. Write on!

Regards,
Kim
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Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Ben,
I left my corrections on the edit points. I did enjoy the story but it left me wanting more. I guess that's good!
Maybe add more bits of childhood memories? So there it is, take my edit suggestions and do what you want with them.
Keep writing!
Leger~

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Review of FAITH  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Cynthia_the_BunnyHamm

Welcome to the site!
I see you've conquered the acrostic poem, good work. Even though this one is quite simple, it's very poignant. I like simple.

This one is certainly pretty enough to be printed on a church banner or bulletin.

No suggestions for edit *Cut*:

Overall, a very pretty poem. Next try challenging yourself with a double acrostic. That's a tough one.

Regards,
Kim
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331
Review of The Painter  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Daedalus

Isn't it so true, that mother nature is a painter. While everyone loves the display of autumn leaves, I have to say I love mother nature's delicate display in springtime too. I love how a large stand of trees in bud look with that sublte emerging color.

No suggestions for edit *Cut*:
Your format, grammar and spelling was impeccable.

Overall, you created a beautiful image.
Welcome to Writing.com. Keep writing.

Regards,
Kim
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Review of Heart of a Dragon  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hello Trevor Moran

Funny how people only see the surface and don't take the time to delve deeper. And funny how the outside rarely reflects what is on the inside. I liked your prose. Very poignant.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*Line 2 and 3: Capitalize "i", always.
*Bullet*Line 6: A sort of oxymoron. People look, but actually few people look beyond.

Overall, enjoyable work.

Regards,
Kim
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Review of The Tree..  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello THe YErk
Welcome to Writing.com.
I liked your poem, the image of the tree. With some editing, it could be enjoyable.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*Line 1: Did you mean "cease" instead of "seize"?
*Bullet*Line 9: Should it be "alone at last" or "alone and lost"?
*Bullet*Line 11: Is the word "over" necessary?

Overall, the image was a good idea.

Regards,
Kim
** Image ID #1070226 Unavailable **
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Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Daedalus

Welcome to Writing.com! Good to see you're posting your work right away.

I liked this work, very much. It felt lyrical to me. Did you intend it to have musical undertones? The images felt manic to me, interesting.

No suggestions for edit *Cut*:

Overall, I enjoyed the work, wished it had been longer, actually. I liked the images you were producing in my imagination.

Regards,
Kim
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Review of Doggie Day Care  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello twill.

Doggy Day Care sounds like a fun place to work. I can't imagine there ever being a dull day. I liked your prose and was surprised that you took a picture at the end.


Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*Line 7: "goof balls", for two Danes.
*Bullet*"Next to Grace is Cooper, who breathes in" ~ Move "in" to next line.

Overall, an interesting cast of canine characters.

Regards,
Kim
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Review of Crimson Release  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Hello Cheyers

I could feel the emotions expressed in the poetry, as the narrator feels the need for self injury.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*"over-coming" ~ No hyphen, one word.
*Bullet*Perhaps arrange Lines 9,10, 11 like this:
Looking down
Stained in blood
Your little pleasure tool

Overall, good descriptive work. Also as a informative note, anyone who needs help with self-injury - the US national hotline is 1-800- DONT CUT (1-800-366-8288)

Regards,
Kim
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Review of Cyber Love  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hello Qyra T Winkler

Welcome to Writing.com
Interesting prose about feelings of love on the internet, I expected as much from the title and description.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*Tense seems to change in the third stanza.
*Bullet*Capitalization is inconsistent.
*Bullet*"you will always be.." ~ "..." elipses.

Overall, Valiant work that could benefit from editing.

Regards,
Kim
** Image ID #1070226 Unavailable **
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Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello Obleo

An interesting poem. I think anyone who has been alone in nature thinks about the majesty of it. Rarely though, have I ever been in nature when it was completely silent. The sugggestions below are mostly to strenthen the poem. Merely opinion.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*L1: exist where one’s most private thoughts are found
*Bullet*L8: stand in silence, humbled by all the beauty that you see
*Bullet*L9: walk the paths where only ancient ones have trod

Overall, lovely work. Keep writing!

Regards,
Kim
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Review by Legerdemain
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Hello Jess

I liked your story. The housewife with aspirations of doing something bigger and better. You did a good job of describing the frumpy housewife.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*"but despite he his best efforts, most of it went down his front"
*Bullet*Format ~ Line break between paragraphs.

Overall, a good story. Will there be a sequel?

Regards,
Kim
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Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello Kayla...x

Welcome to Writing.com!

This is an amusing story! I was hoping Salty would escape, lol. Did you get the idea for this story from eating crisps?

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*5 should be spelled out. Five.
*Bullet*What was the peg? A nail in the floor?
*Bullet*Scruffy didn't eat the crisp? Just crumbled it?

Overall, a funny story. I liked it.

Regards,
Kim
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Review of box of hope  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello the dreamer

Welcome to Writing.com.

I like your small poem. It says so much. I like to think we all have a bit of hope in our hearts.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*It seems odd to refer to the state of perfection as "one". It could be taken out.
*Bullet*The last three lines could be: is my fantasies, / always kept in my / box of hope. Or something similar.

Regards,
Kim
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Review of Little reaper  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello Nira

What a great idea for a story! I've never thought of new generations of reapers. I liked the girl character. You made her so sweet and innocent.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*There are some spelling and grammar errors.
*Bullet*Some proper words like "United States" should be capitalized.
*Bullet*"They would never know how hard the reaper’s tried" ~ "Reaper"

Overall, a great story for a young Reaper. Well done.

Regards,
Kim
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Review of Letter From God  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Christopher Clayton Depew

A fascinating letter. It felt as though behind it all, it was your apology to God. I disagree with your statement that your version is probably kinder than God's, remember...there is always forgiveness. I liked the quote in the letter, I wrote it on a post-it. Thank you.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*Format ~ a line break between paragraphs makes it easier to read on a monitor.
*Bullet*"whatever that is suppose to mean" ~ "whatever that means"
*Bullet*"Please don’t loose me, I will never loose you." ~ Should be "lose".

Overall, a touching letter. Welcome to Writing.com and Write on!

Regards,
Kim
** Image ID #1337014 Unavailable **
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Review of The Library  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello snowelia lev
Welcome to Writing.com. I ran across your adorable poem and decided to review. I love libraries! Even when they were stuffy and quiet when I was a child, I thought it was the greatest place. Now they've changed and become a place to meet, work and learn. Much more social, I think. I did like the poem, it showed a typical library.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*"What is the place coming too," ~ to
*Bullet*"Alone sits Mrs. bookshelf," ~ If you meant this to represent the librarian, perhaps capitalize "bookshelf".
*Bullet*The last line seems ungainly. Maybe ~ Will Mrs. Bookshelf think it all right.

Overall, a cute poem about a favorite place.

Regards,
Kim
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Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello C.L. Charles

I liked your essay on Virtual Assitants.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:

It prompted me to think further. Would the assistant be an outsourced asset? Would you provide benefits to the assistant? Is this along the lines of a telecommuting part-time assistant? How much access would a business owner give such an assistant?

Perhaps more could be answered in the essay.

Overall, an interesting idea. Write on.

Regards,
Kim
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Review of Sanctuary  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hello Aerin Cathal

A fascinating comparison. Your brief description got me to click on your item out of curiosity, to see how you would write it. Gritty is a good description.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*The format is a little confusing. I suggest sticking with single lines or gathering themes.
*Bullet*"ever-faitful" ~ faithful
*Bullet*"impertenance" ~ impertinence
*Bullet*"A world were mutilated" ~ where
*Bullet*"It's a job resented ad repulsive to society" ~ It's a job resented and repulsive to society.

*Heart*Loved the last line.

Overall, a good comparison.

Regards,
Kim
** Image ID #1070226 Unavailable **
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Review by Legerdemain
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
Hello traces of my lipstick
I liked this story. It seems to match your username. Traces of hair, and you.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*The story seemed flat with no purpose. Was it just to describe your dream or define your relationship with the man?
*Bullet*"Cuz I was" ~ Because.
*Bullet*I liked the "pink elephant" analogy, keep it.

Overall, interesting story but needs more drive.

Regards,
Kim
** Image ID #1070226 Unavailable **
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Review of The Walls  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello russo

Welcome to Writing.com. I hope you're enjoying our community.

This is an absolutely stunning poem. Every word chosen feels accurate and right. The idea is amazing and the technical erection of the poem supports your idea well. I'm very much in awe.

No suggestions for edit! *Cut*:

Overall, I'm very glad you posted this. Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
Kim
** Image ID #1284499 Unavailable **
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Review by Legerdemain
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hello RedHorror

Definitely a story with a twist ending. I had no idea this would lead to a murder. Using a Hello Kitty was amusing, they are cute dolls.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*"why his boss stopped the all work being done to brag" ~ suggest: "stopped work to brag"
*Bullet*It seemed a waste to put Sebastian's description in a huge chunk of paragraph. Many pieces of that description could have been worked into the story.
*Bullet*I was surprised you killed Brians in the driveway. I'd envision him slumped in a pile of Hello Kitties. heh.

Overall, a surprising murder.

Regards,
Kim
** Image ID #1284499 Unavailable **
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Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello CelloGirl1987

This is such a cute story! And I love kittens, that's why I picked your story to review. You have a good story idea here, but a few things need some work to make it a really great story.

My favorite was mewing class...*Bigsmile*

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*Try not to tell your readers what is happening in the story, show them.
*Bullet*To make it easier for readers on the site, put a line break between paragraphs and when you change speakers. This makes it easier to read instead of a big block of text.

Overall, with some editing, this could be a fun children's book.

Regards,
Kim
** Image ID #1284498 Unavailable **
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