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 Well, not so much fun and leisure as...get some damn writing done, you fool! |
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A while ago, I attended a writers' workshop and the lady who hosted it told us all to go away with this bit of advice - to write for just ten minutes a day. I was determined to go ahead with it and I did...for two days. So today I remembered that I'd resolved to do so and I whipped out my journal and wrote for fifteen minutes. I'm typing out pretty much the same thing that I wrote earlier, with some differences. I find I can go a lot more in-depth when I'm typing than when I'm writing by hand. Writing by hand is such a chore! I've struggled with loneliness a lot throughout my twenty-nine years. I struggled with it when I was the only one home with my mum when I was a teen and everybody else had other places to be. I struggled with it after marriage and when we moved into our own house for the first time. I struggled with it after my son was born and I felt torn between pursuing my writing and being a good mum, because my culture seems to indicate that a woman has absolutely no chance of living her own life - or at least, she has no chance of attaining any goals she hasn't already attained - once she has children. I feel it occasionally still, even though I get so little time to myself nowadays that any alone time is simply awesome. I've tried to come to terms with the idea that being alone isn't a bad thing - and a lot of the time, it isn't. My friends don't live nearby so I don't get to see them often, and even when I do, I feel like there isn't much depth to our conversations. I'm surrounded by people who do not think like me, who do not share any of my interests and hobbies. I feel like I've become desensitised to isolation. Loneliness is my preferred way to be. I walked into my college cafeteria at lunch today and it was the usual hubbub of activity. Youngsters walking around, chatting animatedly, shouting across the room, laughing, eating, socialising. I could recall how that clamour wouldn't have bothered me ten-twelve years ago, when I would have been one of the youngsters talking excitedly with her friends. But, as this moment, I just found an out-of-the-way little table and sat down. I watched the crowds for a while, wondering why it was only at moments like these that the sense of isolation became so strong. In the middle of a crowd, I feel most alone. |
| 23:14 I cut it really close sometimes, don't I? Today started off as a rather slow day, I suppose. But you never know what's going to happen! I did some ironing and watched some more of the Kdrama I am currently on while I did so. I thought, with the amount of days that have passed since I was able to watch it last, I might find that my enthusiasm for it had faded away. That's happened before. But it's getting really good! It's called Secret Garden and you can find it on Netflix, if you so wish (I will warn you, if you have never come across them before, that Kdramas tend to wear on the nerves at times and they're very dramatic and sometimes even melodramatic. Proceed with caution). To my knowledge, it has absolutely nothing to do with Frances Hodgson Burnett's novel of the same name. Besides that, I went to see Avengers Endgame! Oh, my God! I'm still buzzing from the excitement, though I know it won't last long. These things never do. It's a pity, really, considering the amount of time we spend looking forward to these things but, in the end, they just become two-three hours out of several that you once spent stuck in a dark cinema. Anyways, onto the 30 Day Blogging Challenge! I was told I should do it since I'm pretty much doing it anyway so here I go! The prompt for today's challenge is what I'm looking forward to in 2019. A few things, I guess. Eid festivals are coming up in the next few months. For the past few years, my family has gone on a trip somewhere, which is nice, and I'm hoping they'll continue this year too. I'm looking forward to the long summer holidays so I can properly attempt to potty train my child - I'm just having no luck getting him to listen to me! I'm anticipating the ending of my course! YAY! Although it seems a shame that I've not yet been able to find placement and have lost the will to try. But just a few more months to go! I'm also looking forward to NaNoWriMo again. This will be my third consecutive year taking part in it and I've got a good records to live up to or beat. It's the most amazing feeling, actually finishing a novel in the space of a month! I'm just wondering what I'll write about this year. In the first year, 2017, I rewrote a story I'd just finished before November, to make it flow smoother. For last year, I did a Little Mermaid rewrite featuring the two main characters from my first attempt (I'm still wondering if it's a good idea to put it up, since I never went back to it and it was not overly satisfactory). I'm thinking I'll use those characters again for this year and make it more of an out-and-out fantasy. I'm also looking forward to losing some damn weight! It's been about a year since I regularly started walking and I read somewhere that that is about how long it takes for the belly fat to finally start melting away. That's always a concern...well, not really. I mean, it kind of is, but it isn't as big of an issue as it might have been when I was a little less respectful of myself as an individual. It'd be great to lose some weight, so that my ample fat isn't a potential hazard to my health, but I'm nor overly concerned with my body image or whatever. I'm comfortable in my skin, and admitting that is simply awesome. 23:35 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
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