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 Well, not so much fun and leisure as...get some damn writing done, you fool! |
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A while ago, I attended a writers' workshop and the lady who hosted it told us all to go away with this bit of advice - to write for just ten minutes a day. I was determined to go ahead with it and I did...for two days. So today I remembered that I'd resolved to do so and I whipped out my journal and wrote for fifteen minutes. I'm typing out pretty much the same thing that I wrote earlier, with some differences. I find I can go a lot more in-depth when I'm typing than when I'm writing by hand. Writing by hand is such a chore! I've struggled with loneliness a lot throughout my twenty-nine years. I struggled with it when I was the only one home with my mum when I was a teen and everybody else had other places to be. I struggled with it after marriage and when we moved into our own house for the first time. I struggled with it after my son was born and I felt torn between pursuing my writing and being a good mum, because my culture seems to indicate that a woman has absolutely no chance of living her own life - or at least, she has no chance of attaining any goals she hasn't already attained - once she has children. I feel it occasionally still, even though I get so little time to myself nowadays that any alone time is simply awesome. I've tried to come to terms with the idea that being alone isn't a bad thing - and a lot of the time, it isn't. My friends don't live nearby so I don't get to see them often, and even when I do, I feel like there isn't much depth to our conversations. I'm surrounded by people who do not think like me, who do not share any of my interests and hobbies. I feel like I've become desensitised to isolation. Loneliness is my preferred way to be. I walked into my college cafeteria at lunch today and it was the usual hubbub of activity. Youngsters walking around, chatting animatedly, shouting across the room, laughing, eating, socialising. I could recall how that clamour wouldn't have bothered me ten-twelve years ago, when I would have been one of the youngsters talking excitedly with her friends. But, as this moment, I just found an out-of-the-way little table and sat down. I watched the crowds for a while, wondering why it was only at moments like these that the sense of isolation became so strong. In the middle of a crowd, I feel most alone. |
| Time: 12:24 My husband had guests over last night so I kind of stayed out of the way and was mostly on my computer. I don't know what it is about sitting at the computer that makes my back hurt so much. I'm find sitting on the sofa downstairs. I was mostly fine after sitting on the uncomfortable college chairs for several hours last Tuesday. Even after getting a padded swivel chair, I still get back pain from sitting here too long. Perhaps I should invest in a new laptop, since the old one doesn't work. This sucks! I can't just give up the computer. I've had this one for about a year now, after many, many years without one. Computers and laptops feel very different to use, I've discovered. Perhaps it's the amount of time I was on it. I didn't feel too bad the past week or so when I've just been coming on here for an hour or so. Maybe it's my posture. I can't quite sit on chairs with my legs down, so I cross them on the chair seat or stretch them out and rest them on the lower shelf of the computer desk, where the printer is. I just can't keep them down like a normal person. I'm still in the process of writing my seasons short story. I thought I started off all right, but I've hit a dead end. I guess this is where being a "plotter" would be good, but I don't like planning my stories out. I should try it though. For a short story at least. Who knows? Maybe it'll yield such good results that I'll end up doing likewise for all my stories! When I write, I usually have some idea of what's going to happen, though this develops as I continue writing. Sometimes, I brainstorm so I have at least a little bit of direction, but this usually happens for stories which I'm really serious about. I have so many ideas which just sort of withered up and dried out. So I will definitely give being a "planster" a go! It's been thirteen minutes and that's three minutes extra to make up for my very short entry yesterday! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
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