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Rated: 13+ · Book · Personal · #2186370
Well, not so much fun and leisure as...get some damn writing done, you fool!
A while ago, I attended a writers' workshop and the lady who hosted it told us all to go away with this bit of advice - to write for just ten minutes a day. I was determined to go ahead with it and I did...for two days. So today I remembered that I'd resolved to do so and I whipped out my journal and wrote for fifteen minutes.

I'm typing out pretty much the same thing that I wrote earlier, with some differences. I find I can go a lot more in-depth when I'm typing than when I'm writing by hand. Writing by hand is such a chore!

I've struggled with loneliness a lot throughout my twenty-nine years. I struggled with it when I was the only one home with my mum when I was a teen and everybody else had other places to be. I struggled with it after marriage and when we moved into our own house for the first time. I struggled with it after my son was born and I felt torn between pursuing my writing and being a good mum, because my culture seems to indicate that a woman has absolutely no chance of living her own life - or at least, she has no chance of attaining any goals she hasn't already attained - once she has children.

I feel it occasionally still, even though I get so little time to myself nowadays that any alone time is simply awesome. I've tried to come to terms with the idea that being alone isn't a bad thing - and a lot of the time, it isn't. My friends don't live nearby so I don't get to see them often, and even when I do, I feel like there isn't much depth to our conversations. I'm surrounded by people who do not think like me, who do not share any of my interests and hobbies. I feel like I've become desensitised to isolation. Loneliness is my preferred way to be.

I walked into my college cafeteria at lunch today and it was the usual hubbub of activity. Youngsters walking around, chatting animatedly, shouting across the room, laughing, eating, socialising. I could recall how that clamour wouldn't have bothered me ten-twelve years ago, when I would have been one of the youngsters talking excitedly with her friends. But, as this moment, I just found an out-of-the-way little table and sat down. I watched the crowds for a while, wondering why it was only at moments like these that the sense of isolation became so strong. In the middle of a crowd, I feel most alone.
April 17, 2019 at 9:46am
April 17, 2019 at 9:46am
#956815
14:36

In contrast to yesterday, I'm not doing so good today. Not too bad, either, but I've definitely been better. My son is down for a nap so I thought I'd take the opportunity to get some stuff done. Three and a half items crossed off my list. I'm getting aggravated right now because my husband is on the phone a few paces away. He has such a LOUD voice. I want to throw my shoe at him because I'm worried the little one will wake up. His voice goes louder when he's on the phone, as if he needs it to! What am I supposed to write about when all I can hear is his LOUD voice? It's like a blockade in the way of my thoughts!

...And the little one is awake! ARGH! I could beat this guy up! There goes my opportunity to get some writing done! Argh, I'm so mad!

I'm so tired. I don't get enough sleep most days. If it's not the little one keeping me up, it's the big one with the LOUD voice! I have been trying to get to sleep earlier nowadays, but it doesn't work. Evening is the only time I get some freedom to do what I want, since naps are becoming less of a daily thing.

I've been trying to work on the Elementals back stories, but I haven't really gotten anywhere. I enjoyed the previous prompt, as I knew I had to get it finished for a particular time. This other backstory is not working so well. I have so little interest in it. I think I'll try writing out the story. Maybe discovering the character in the main story will encourage me to delve into her past. Something's got to give.

Ten minutes!

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