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 Well, not so much fun and leisure as...get some damn writing done, you fool! |
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A while ago, I attended a writers' workshop and the lady who hosted it told us all to go away with this bit of advice - to write for just ten minutes a day. I was determined to go ahead with it and I did...for two days. So today I remembered that I'd resolved to do so and I whipped out my journal and wrote for fifteen minutes. I'm typing out pretty much the same thing that I wrote earlier, with some differences. I find I can go a lot more in-depth when I'm typing than when I'm writing by hand. Writing by hand is such a chore! I've struggled with loneliness a lot throughout my twenty-nine years. I struggled with it when I was the only one home with my mum when I was a teen and everybody else had other places to be. I struggled with it after marriage and when we moved into our own house for the first time. I struggled with it after my son was born and I felt torn between pursuing my writing and being a good mum, because my culture seems to indicate that a woman has absolutely no chance of living her own life - or at least, she has no chance of attaining any goals she hasn't already attained - once she has children. I feel it occasionally still, even though I get so little time to myself nowadays that any alone time is simply awesome. I've tried to come to terms with the idea that being alone isn't a bad thing - and a lot of the time, it isn't. My friends don't live nearby so I don't get to see them often, and even when I do, I feel like there isn't much depth to our conversations. I'm surrounded by people who do not think like me, who do not share any of my interests and hobbies. I feel like I've become desensitised to isolation. Loneliness is my preferred way to be. I walked into my college cafeteria at lunch today and it was the usual hubbub of activity. Youngsters walking around, chatting animatedly, shouting across the room, laughing, eating, socialising. I could recall how that clamour wouldn't have bothered me ten-twelve years ago, when I would have been one of the youngsters talking excitedly with her friends. But, as this moment, I just found an out-of-the-way little table and sat down. I watched the crowds for a while, wondering why it was only at moments like these that the sense of isolation became so strong. In the middle of a crowd, I feel most alone. |
| 14:43 I get a day to myself! YAAAAAAAAAAAAY! I'm so happy! With it being the holidays and both of us having to endure each other all day every day, I think my son and I were starting to go mad. I get so fed up with him and I don't like getting out of the house so I don't take him out every day. That affects both of us. But, for today, his dad has taken him to visit some far-away relatives. I would have gone too but I've a headache and my back has been bothering me so I didn't think I'd be able to endure two hours cooped up in the car. But, onto the good stuff! With this blog entry done and dusted, that'll be three things crossed off my checklist. I have three other activities to do and then I'm free for the day! I'm thinking of a Netflix marathon - I started watching another K-drama last night and it's looking good so far. I'm a little bit stuck on my short story still. I've not been giving it the time it deserves so I thought I'd try to get at least a thousand words down before the day is up. I'll try to do that after I've finished this entry. I'm not thinking enough about my stories. I'm so lazy! I don't know what else to write about. I appear to have developed a YouTube addiction, and I hate it. Why don't phones come with the option of deleting some of the less-useful apps? My God! Ever since I decided that I definitely want a cat, I've been watching cat videos and they just keep on coming. I can't resist! That's eleven minutes. I'm so tired. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
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