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Rated: 13+ · Book · Personal · #2186370
Well, not so much fun and leisure as...get some damn writing done, you fool!
A while ago, I attended a writers' workshop and the lady who hosted it told us all to go away with this bit of advice - to write for just ten minutes a day. I was determined to go ahead with it and I did...for two days. So today I remembered that I'd resolved to do so and I whipped out my journal and wrote for fifteen minutes.

I'm typing out pretty much the same thing that I wrote earlier, with some differences. I find I can go a lot more in-depth when I'm typing than when I'm writing by hand. Writing by hand is such a chore!

I've struggled with loneliness a lot throughout my twenty-nine years. I struggled with it when I was the only one home with my mum when I was a teen and everybody else had other places to be. I struggled with it after marriage and when we moved into our own house for the first time. I struggled with it after my son was born and I felt torn between pursuing my writing and being a good mum, because my culture seems to indicate that a woman has absolutely no chance of living her own life - or at least, she has no chance of attaining any goals she hasn't already attained - once she has children.

I feel it occasionally still, even though I get so little time to myself nowadays that any alone time is simply awesome. I've tried to come to terms with the idea that being alone isn't a bad thing - and a lot of the time, it isn't. My friends don't live nearby so I don't get to see them often, and even when I do, I feel like there isn't much depth to our conversations. I'm surrounded by people who do not think like me, who do not share any of my interests and hobbies. I feel like I've become desensitised to isolation. Loneliness is my preferred way to be.

I walked into my college cafeteria at lunch today and it was the usual hubbub of activity. Youngsters walking around, chatting animatedly, shouting across the room, laughing, eating, socialising. I could recall how that clamour wouldn't have bothered me ten-twelve years ago, when I would have been one of the youngsters talking excitedly with her friends. But, as this moment, I just found an out-of-the-way little table and sat down. I watched the crowds for a while, wondering why it was only at moments like these that the sense of isolation became so strong. In the middle of a crowd, I feel most alone.
April 14, 2019 at 2:40pm
April 14, 2019 at 2:40pm
#956561
Time: 19:29

I'm a bit late today, as I've been out all day. My niece had a birthday party to go to at a...I don't even know what to call it. A leisure park, I guess? With a ski slope, trampolining, arcades, and places to eat. So while my niece went there, the rest of us went around the shops. But the first order of business, of course, was to fill our bellies! With dessert! We went to this Italian place and, by God, their gelato was delicious! I had a white chocolate swirl, with this scrumptious blood orange sauce. It was to die for! I'm wondering when I'll get to go again.

I'm having dinner while I'm typing so I might not get as much done as usual - I know, the horror! How dare I bring food and drink near the computer! I've not had a proper meal all day so I'm trying to multitask lol. Because of the day out, my checklist is not even halfway done.

Speaking of the checklist, I'm really glad I've managed to abide by it every day this past week. It's helped curb my laziness a bit and I don't spend hours and hours on Netflix. I sat down to watch a movie last night because I'd ticked off all the activities on the checklist and I felt a little guilty because I'd have much rather been doing something productive than sitting on my ass watching crappy rom-coms.

This lamb biryani I'm eating is delicious!

That's eleven minutes!

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