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 Well, not so much fun and leisure as...get some damn writing done, you fool! |
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A while ago, I attended a writers' workshop and the lady who hosted it told us all to go away with this bit of advice - to write for just ten minutes a day. I was determined to go ahead with it and I did...for two days. So today I remembered that I'd resolved to do so and I whipped out my journal and wrote for fifteen minutes. I'm typing out pretty much the same thing that I wrote earlier, with some differences. I find I can go a lot more in-depth when I'm typing than when I'm writing by hand. Writing by hand is such a chore! I've struggled with loneliness a lot throughout my twenty-nine years. I struggled with it when I was the only one home with my mum when I was a teen and everybody else had other places to be. I struggled with it after marriage and when we moved into our own house for the first time. I struggled with it after my son was born and I felt torn between pursuing my writing and being a good mum, because my culture seems to indicate that a woman has absolutely no chance of living her own life - or at least, she has no chance of attaining any goals she hasn't already attained - once she has children. I feel it occasionally still, even though I get so little time to myself nowadays that any alone time is simply awesome. I've tried to come to terms with the idea that being alone isn't a bad thing - and a lot of the time, it isn't. My friends don't live nearby so I don't get to see them often, and even when I do, I feel like there isn't much depth to our conversations. I'm surrounded by people who do not think like me, who do not share any of my interests and hobbies. I feel like I've become desensitised to isolation. Loneliness is my preferred way to be. I walked into my college cafeteria at lunch today and it was the usual hubbub of activity. Youngsters walking around, chatting animatedly, shouting across the room, laughing, eating, socialising. I could recall how that clamour wouldn't have bothered me ten-twelve years ago, when I would have been one of the youngsters talking excitedly with her friends. But, as this moment, I just found an out-of-the-way little table and sat down. I watched the crowds for a while, wondering why it was only at moments like these that the sense of isolation became so strong. In the middle of a crowd, I feel most alone. |
| Time: 12:58 ...Well, no. Don't help me. I rather like chocolate. Too much, in fact. And then my throat gets all scratchy and I start to cough uncontrollably, which is especially bad at night. No sleep. I should probably not eat these three bite-sized little chunks of sugary goodness, but I already got then from the box so my mind is already made up. I haven't had chocolate in days! Not counting the chocolate snack bar I had yesterday, of course. But there was only a little bit in there so it doesn't really count. The problem with staying away from sugary foods is that I have a massive sweet tooth. I can give up anything but I cannot totally cut out sweet stuff. Why do I have chocolate in the first place if it's bad for me, you ask? Well, that's because people keep gifting me with it! I have boxes from last year still sitting around. Can't people be more creative with their gifts? I mean, come on! I like writing, so a notebook would be nice. I like baking. Even some flour would be nice! But why give me stuff that's trying to kill me? Oooh, Galaxy Caramel! Get in! It's wonderful! T_T I'll start to feel the effects in a few minutes, no doubt, but at the moment, with the taste buds still rejoicing, I feel like it's worth it. Poison in a promising package, no? In other news, I got stuck with my story prompt. Nearly halfway through and I don't know what to write. Perhaps I should try the "plotter" method of writing. I ramble too much when I let the story unfold as I go along. But the idea of plotting it all out doesn't sound very appealing either. Maybe I can find some middle ground. Eleven minutes! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
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