%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 |
 Well, not so much fun and leisure as...get some damn writing done, you fool! |
|
A while ago, I attended a writers' workshop and the lady who hosted it told us all to go away with this bit of advice - to write for just ten minutes a day. I was determined to go ahead with it and I did...for two days. So today I remembered that I'd resolved to do so and I whipped out my journal and wrote for fifteen minutes. I'm typing out pretty much the same thing that I wrote earlier, with some differences. I find I can go a lot more in-depth when I'm typing than when I'm writing by hand. Writing by hand is such a chore! I've struggled with loneliness a lot throughout my twenty-nine years. I struggled with it when I was the only one home with my mum when I was a teen and everybody else had other places to be. I struggled with it after marriage and when we moved into our own house for the first time. I struggled with it after my son was born and I felt torn between pursuing my writing and being a good mum, because my culture seems to indicate that a woman has absolutely no chance of living her own life - or at least, she has no chance of attaining any goals she hasn't already attained - once she has children. I feel it occasionally still, even though I get so little time to myself nowadays that any alone time is simply awesome. I've tried to come to terms with the idea that being alone isn't a bad thing - and a lot of the time, it isn't. My friends don't live nearby so I don't get to see them often, and even when I do, I feel like there isn't much depth to our conversations. I'm surrounded by people who do not think like me, who do not share any of my interests and hobbies. I feel like I've become desensitised to isolation. Loneliness is my preferred way to be. I walked into my college cafeteria at lunch today and it was the usual hubbub of activity. Youngsters walking around, chatting animatedly, shouting across the room, laughing, eating, socialising. I could recall how that clamour wouldn't have bothered me ten-twelve years ago, when I would have been one of the youngsters talking excitedly with her friends. But, as this moment, I just found an out-of-the-way little table and sat down. I watched the crowds for a while, wondering why it was only at moments like these that the sense of isolation became so strong. In the middle of a crowd, I feel most alone. |
| Time: 11:20 SO I want to try out the idea of writing my blog from my character's POV and their response to everyday things. I haven't planned it or anything so here goes! Aoi: Work has been slow this morning. Acey keeps on at me about finishing my reports. Never have I met a man who is such a nag. There are no missions for me to do - the few that have come in today have been relatively small so I sent some of the other guys to do them. We've not had word of Franks for several weeks so the case is gathering dust. I wish he'd appear, just to give me something to do. I suppose I could go back home for a while. Aki would be happy to have someone to chatter at. She is becoming very talkative nowadays. I feel like she must have been a lively little girl before her family's deaths. It's great that she's finally comfortable enough around us to talk to us so freely. These past few months, she didn't trust anyone. Going outside anywhere put her on edge. But she's getting used to it now. I often find her wandering around in the street when I return home after work. Haku came home a few nights ago. As usual, I don't think I was quite able to convey my true feelings on the matter. He must think I don't care that he's back. I told him I was glad, but I don't think I used the right words. I don't know how to talk to people, even those closest to me. I don't have it in me to be like the others and welcome him with open arms. I don't trust easily and he broke my trust. I know I also have a part in play in the breaking of that trust, but he is no longer someone of this family. I will treat him like my brother still - he will always be my brother, even if he chooses to leave and never comes back again - but I don't know how different my treatment of him will be after the three year absence. I recognise him as family but he is also an outsider now. Twelve minutes! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
)
