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 Well, not so much fun and leisure as...get some damn writing done, you fool! |
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A while ago, I attended a writers' workshop and the lady who hosted it told us all to go away with this bit of advice - to write for just ten minutes a day. I was determined to go ahead with it and I did...for two days. So today I remembered that I'd resolved to do so and I whipped out my journal and wrote for fifteen minutes. I'm typing out pretty much the same thing that I wrote earlier, with some differences. I find I can go a lot more in-depth when I'm typing than when I'm writing by hand. Writing by hand is such a chore! I've struggled with loneliness a lot throughout my twenty-nine years. I struggled with it when I was the only one home with my mum when I was a teen and everybody else had other places to be. I struggled with it after marriage and when we moved into our own house for the first time. I struggled with it after my son was born and I felt torn between pursuing my writing and being a good mum, because my culture seems to indicate that a woman has absolutely no chance of living her own life - or at least, she has no chance of attaining any goals she hasn't already attained - once she has children. I feel it occasionally still, even though I get so little time to myself nowadays that any alone time is simply awesome. I've tried to come to terms with the idea that being alone isn't a bad thing - and a lot of the time, it isn't. My friends don't live nearby so I don't get to see them often, and even when I do, I feel like there isn't much depth to our conversations. I'm surrounded by people who do not think like me, who do not share any of my interests and hobbies. I feel like I've become desensitised to isolation. Loneliness is my preferred way to be. I walked into my college cafeteria at lunch today and it was the usual hubbub of activity. Youngsters walking around, chatting animatedly, shouting across the room, laughing, eating, socialising. I could recall how that clamour wouldn't have bothered me ten-twelve years ago, when I would have been one of the youngsters talking excitedly with her friends. But, as this moment, I just found an out-of-the-way little table and sat down. I watched the crowds for a while, wondering why it was only at moments like these that the sense of isolation became so strong. In the middle of a crowd, I feel most alone. |
| 20:51 I finally got my kitten last night. Returned home past midnight because of this little fella, which is a bad idea when one has a small child who needs to go to nursery in the morning. And when one has college to attend too. As it was, both my son and I were late in attending our respective educational establishments. Well, I was late fifteen minutes. He has was late by like three hours, thanks to my husband being so laidback about the whole thing. Psh, who cares about trying to adhere to the time you're expected to be at a place? Anyway, I've not been doing much writing these past two days. I might have opened up the Word document with my Elementals short story yesterday around the time I wrote my last entry, but I didn't do much writing. I'm still not getting a clear picture of the storyline. Plus, my mentor has said he can't commit to the prompt so I've sort of lost interest too. I mean, I will try my best to continue - it seems a waste to just let this opportunity go past. I thought I had a thousand words but it's actually more like 900. I restarted writing too because I was completely stumped with the way it was going. I've tried to plan it out too but nothing comes to mind. Maybe I'm just not trying hard enough. I didn't get much sleep last night so I keep yawning. I've never had a cat before so I kept thinking Dean was going to come and claw my face off if I kept it at his level - I sleep on the floor, having been told it's good for the back. In any case, I knew my fears were quite ridiculous, but I couldn't help it, you know? Also, he was sleeping right on my duvet and I felt bad for moving around and disturbing him. It's been sixteen minutes but I've spent a fair amount of that time messing about with Dean so...:D ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
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