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Rated: 18+ · Book · Spiritual · #1149750
10k views, 2x BestPoetryCollection. A nothing from nowhere cast words to a world wide wind
I’m disabled by more than blindness.

Writing: Like one of those adventure games where you go off questing in different directions but you don’t advance in life. Pretty medallions sought for words/my soul, slow burnt. Full of misdirects, right back at the start, but still quest with thirst.

Life of turmoil produces stuff like this. Not going to call it beautiful agony…it gets a bit uglier. Minced words too pungent. If they take time to notice, must be doing something right.

scripturam in hoc non mutamus, quia stultus es et differentiam nescies.

(hic)

The beautiful mess you made:
I had a lover's quarrel with the world - Robert Frost

         |
I'm sorry you got caught in the middle. - me

Neurodivergent poet’yearns to love without that fart in the room between us. Honesty without mincing words comes with a price for those juggling the hot take on my version of truth (here’s some oven mitts). Find it best to stay clear of those surrounded by moat rules.

Real dialogue accepted.

Diagnosed with new disabilities in 2020: was obtuse in beginning, frank now…on the spectrum/ADHD (complicated by PTSD, much brain trauma). Been suggested by doctors of late I might want another brain scan (sincev12/4/17…blogged).

As it is: My words collect, arrange on a kaleidoscope spectrum. The true experience/acknowledgment of my writing seems yet to come...long after I’ve left WDC, am dead, or both?

Truly been a blessing, but been pushing it — envelope, world and all inhabitants — away — push buttons, find boundaries to trip traps. No clue why, where I've lived in your dark. (Life boring?) Now and then, push dirt out of this hole; someone/thing/entity might envision me the way I need to be viewed (if I knew what that was). Cryptic, I know. Try living in my dark, find comfort amid strange, virtual walls that tempt me to scale/escape).

Been more than I could imagine or expect here. But, achievements aren’t going on a LinkedIn wall *Think*. I dig deeper than I should, often without forethought. Aimless words, brave or veiled cowardice, flinchingly flung, inadvertently hit targets? Get a ‘back off’ shoulder shot when asking your motivations here. Not fair?

No prize to eye; not incentivized. Dealt the worst two cards before the flop, do best with what’s in hand.



My Pluggers:
You are an icon here.*BigSmile*
You suffer, but you suffer brilliantly. Wow, what a great writer.*Heart*


It’s like plugging myself, but using other people’s (reviewers) words…Review of "Poetic Referendum(s) On Life"
Your poetic muse is on fire! *Fire* Some great emotion, well-balance(d), lovely lyrical qualities -- even the ones that were written out of sadness or anger came through in a clever cadence…It's obvious you've put a lot of work into each entry and the totality of the blog has eye appeal. *Cool*

 
Published four times with one a literary journal, including… *PointRight*   "The Tender Core (Sedona)
I don’t submit because it’s too much work. Truly alone, know no one cares to show they believe/support me. Lip service feeds delusion. I’ve seen a lot of smoldering and snow. Try not be cynical, work hard at openness and consideration — work, sooo…gut thing.

*Toilet* *RibbonW* Merit Badge in Taboo Words
[Click For More Info]

Brian,

Congratulations! You won 1st Place in Taboo Words with your fantastic poem, [Link to Book Entry #1027659]. 

I absolutely loved this! *^*Heart*^*

Rachel Merit Badge in Poetry
[Click For More Info]

    Thanks you for supporting the  [Link To Item #power]  with an order to the  [Link To Item #powergifts] ! We appreciate it. *^*Heartv*^* Keep writing the beautiful poetry. [Link to Book Entry #1027659] is an awesome poem! *^*Starv*^* ~Lornda

 
Love my process constructing and sharing visions in words collected (no small task considering personal and physical limitations, see below).


August 28, 2006 this blog opened

BOOK
SuperNova Afterglow: End Of Days  (18+)
All that remains: here in my afterlife as a 'mainstream' blogger, with what little I know.
#1300042 by Brian KC


No specific aim going forward (2014)

 
What I used to say: 'Maybe, I just don't get it. Watch me fumble with my version of reality, expose ignorance as truth. You don't have to get me, either. But, wish someone would explain me to myself.' Now I say: *Cool* *FacePalm* Now: I was such a whore.
 


*Laugh*This is old….
What? Oh, this? A rhetorical, self-motivational speech I'm working on.
Don't just read the parts to construct your theory, as if to confirm (construed out of context) your opinion, mentally-stunted Neanderthal. Therapist wants me to be less negative toward myself. I see it as attacking, rather than being defensive. Fear I will chomp too many bullets unintentionally sent toward the unsuspecting.
If you can be triggered for stupid reasons, then I?
…just looked like me rolling around on the floor with myself.*RollEyes*
             



What Was NEW

Who am I, you ask? My mirror knows that question, repeated daily.

Just trying to create a little buzz, not boost my ego.

#amwriting #poetry #blog #contest #freeverse #award #bestpoetry #freyaridings #lyrics #music #video #YouTube

Can you believe it took this long for someone to put a quarter in me and push the button GET ANGRY?
 

Mud 4 My Eye: Is that you, Poo? 💩 Secret Back Door

The Best Poetry Collection on Writing.Com
January 20, 2022 at 1:09am
January 20, 2022 at 1:09am
#1025052
The tender heart of you bleeds for a purpose.
My ears ache to savor labored Words pain.
My hands want to feel the dark heart throbbing.
My eyes aim penetrate the most guarded soul.

You solidly look up. Steady, I do not shudder.
Your pain lives in me now in deepest recesses.
You can access any part of me, share our blood.
Resistant, you do not trust the likes of me.

I'll sing my sorrow for another tomorrow knowing
I absorb these disturbed visions with no egress out.
My arms would wrap you like blooming vines, but
Nothing grows in the dark where you are now.

A little sunlight will creep over the hedge between us,
One day, hopefully two flowing through one another.

1.20.22

Just stream on consciousness with discipline to craft a hopeful poem.
January 20, 2022 at 12:44am
January 20, 2022 at 12:44am
#1025051
I could write you a eulogy every night,
Pack away those tiny words in tiny type --
Click, click, clack away a story
Hidden from all those redirected eyes.

The steel writer gathers dust, rust.
The black ribbon unspooled stains
a blank page like murder scene clues.
The detectives all look the other way.

I'm dead here anyway, tall grass grave
With interlaced daisies bright on dry blood.
I had many years, many chances,
But chose to piddle it all away --

A brain masturbating itself into decay,
The rotting gray in numb skull withered.
I scrawled my random messages on walls:
White on white, black on black, now blue,

As green layered by white seals my fate --
A corpse on this hard lawn, composting.

When spring arrives, words fully absorb.
You could ask anyone, I was never here.
An obit didn't run, a toll for words spun, unpaid.
Ask the editor if he keeps me in a Manila file.


1.20.22

I really don't know. Tap, tap, tap and then...


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