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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/blog/ripglaedr3/day/12-31-2019
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Rated: 18+ · Book · Spiritual · #1149750
10k views, 2x BestPoetryCollection. A nothing from nowhere cast words to a world wide wind
I’m disabled by more than blindness.

Writing: Like one of those adventure games where you go off questing in different directions but you don’t advance in life. Pretty medallions sought for words/my soul, a slow burn now. Life is full of misdirects right back to the start, you still quest with a thirst.

If they take time to notice, must be doing something right. Life of turmoil produces stuff like this. Not going to call it beautiful agony…it gets a bit uglier. Minced words too pungent.

scripturam in hoc non mutamus, quia stultus es et differentiam nescies.

hic honor, quem accepistis, non est operae pretium, sicut non est bonum.
*BigSmile*
si hoc legere potes, gratiarum actio pro tempore.

The beautiful mess you made.
         |
Without knowledge, who’s to judge?
         |
No gavel; no voice.

I had a lover's quarrel with the world - Robert Frost

         |
I'm sorry you got caught in the middle. - me

*Neurodivergent poet.
*I yearn to love without that fart in the room.
*Honesty without mincing words.
*Stay clear of those surrounded by rules.
*Real dialogue accepted.

Diagnosed with new disabilities in 2020: On the spectrum/ADHD (it gets complicated by PTSD and brain trauma). Been suggested by doctors I might want another brain scan. As it is: My words collect, arrange on a kaleidoscope spectrum. The true experience/acknowledgment of my writing yet to come...long after I’ve left WDC, am dead, or both?

Truly been a blessing, but I've been pushing it — envelope, push world and all inhabitants away, push buttons, find boundaries, no clue why, where I've lived in your dark. Now and then, push dirt out of this hole; someone/thing/entity might envision me the way I need to be viewed (if I knew what that was. Cryptic, I know. Try living in my dark, find comfort amid the strange, virtual walls that tempt me to try).
*The parenthetical ‘lawyer up’?



Foot free, I’m all over the place.
 
"Note: Poetry: life’s little interruptions amassing int..."
 

Best Poetry Collection 2X, nominated three years. What does it mean? I was enjoying myself, head bagged. A happy idiot. Something messed with that. I won’t be a coward; not starting feuds or wars over ideals and beliefs. We all know that’s a pile of crap packaged with dreams of pretty things to sell t the next boob that walks by. *Clown*

Been more than I could imagine or expect. My achievements aren’t going on a LinkedIn wall. I dig deeper than I should, push boundaries. Aimless words, brave or veiled cowardice, flinchingly flung, inadvertently hit targets. Get a ‘back off’ shoulder shot when asking your motivations to write.

No prize to eye; not incentivized. Dealt the worst two cards before the flop, do the best with what you got.



My Pluggers:
You are an icon here.*BigSmile*
You suffer, but you suffer brilliantly. Wow, what a great writer.{/blue}*Heart*


It’s like plugging myself, but using other people’s (reviewers) words…Review of "Epigram ‘n Aphorism Samwiches"
Your poetic muse is on fire! *Fire* Some great emotion, well-balance(d), lovely lyrical qualities -- even the ones that were written out of sadness or anger came through in a clever cadence…It's obvious you've put a lot of work into each entry and the totality of the blog has eye appeal. *Cool*

 
Published four times with one a literary journal, including… *PointRight*   "The Tender Core (Sedona)
I don’t submit because it’s too much work. Truly alone, know no one cares to show they believe/support me. Lip service feeds delusion. I’ve seen a lot of smoldering and snow. Try not be cynical, work hard at openness and consideration — work, sooo…gut thing.

*Toilet* *RibbonW* Merit Badge in Taboo Words
[Click For More Info]

Brian,

Congratulations! You won 1st Place in Taboo Words with your fantastic poem, [Link to Book Entry #1027659]. 

I absolutely loved this! *^*Heart*^*

Rachel Merit Badge in Poetry
[Click For More Info]

    Thanks you for supporting the  [Link To Item #power]  with an order to the  [Link To Item #powergifts] ! We appreciate it. *^*Heartv*^* Keep writing the beautiful poetry. [Link to Book Entry #1027659] is an awesome poem! *^*Starv*^* ~Lornda

 
Love my process constructing and sharing visions in words collected (no small task considering personal and physical limitations, see below).


August 28, 2006 this blog opened

BOOK
SuperNova Afterglow: End Of Days  (18+)
All that remains: here in my afterlife as a 'mainstream' blogger, with what little I know.
#1300042 by He’s Brian K Compton


No specific aim going forward (2014)

 
What I used to say: 'Maybe, I just don't get it. Watch me fumble with my version of reality, expose ignorance as truth. You don't have to get me, either. But, wish someone would explain me to myself.' Now I say: *Cool* *FacePalm* Now: I was such a whore.
 


*Laugh*This is old….
What? Oh, this? A rhetorical, self-motivational speech I'm working on.
Don't just read the parts to construct your theory, as if to confirm (construed out of context) your opinion, mentally-stunted Neanderthal. Therapist wants me to be less negative toward myself. I see it as attacking, rather than being defensive. Fear I will chomp too many bullets unintentionally sent toward the unsuspecting.
If you can be triggered for stupid reasons, then I?
…just looked like me rolling around on the floor with myself.*RollEyes*
             



What Was NEW

Who am I, you ask? My mirror knows that question, repeated daily.

Just trying to create a little buzz, not boost my ego.

#amwriting #poetry #blog #contest #freeverse #award #bestpoetry #freyaridings #lyrics #music #video #YouTube

Can you believe it took this long for someone to put a quarter in me and push the button GET ANGRY?
 

Mud 4 My Eye: Is that you, Poo? 💩 Secret Back Door

The Best Poetry Collection on Writing.Com
December 31, 2019 at 11:33am
December 31, 2019 at 11:33am
#972309

When I found this website in 2006, I was running away from all the disappointment in my personal life. Sorry I brought all my baggage here instead of unburdening it before I walked through this portal door. I can’t undo the past. I am a leopard but only because I’m stained by my past.
I can’t change my default as an untrusting person as one who’s been bullied, abused and taken advantage of lifelong. I had/have misplaced bouts of anger (that I’ve dealt with), but put mostly behind me. I do put on appearances of one in control because I do not want to relive the shame and humiliation of my past — nor be vulnerable to manipulation.
That is why (in this segregated culture) I have had my misgivings. I have tried to put forth my best self, feel I degraded myself for acceptance. I have felt kinship here, but limited in association by walls that surround. I’m not ungrateful, just cautious. I did reciprocate within reason when called upon.
Because of the fires in my belly, I’ve grown. But, I’m not rolling over anymore. I keep my underside protected. I respect what you all do here. I just have to be for myself and yearn for unconditional acceptance...harder to find.
As honest as I can be. I’m sorry to all for our misunderstandings and misgivings. We both missed the boat. Sorry if you misunderstand my need for something as close to clarity as can be. Tired of stepping in it.

Just know: I won’t go away when there are still words to be said. My disabilities cannot impede either. My will is strong, stronger than you can imagine for one who struggles.

I can tag all those who’ve motivated me throughout the years (like I’ve done before) but you know who you are.

Typed with giant forefinger on Iphone with diminished vision. The force is great with this one. Let the typos be revealed!
December 31, 2019 at 10:29am
December 31, 2019 at 10:29am
#972305

Rhyming Thoughts Spun
Now My Story's Done


It’s the next word on your eager tongue.
Don’t know where inspiration came from --
Just audacious thoughts placing bets.
But then, there's no takers, just regrets.
If you don't let the bilge spill,
Empty 'til you get your fill.
Haphazard notebooks, scraps of paper --
Forming sentences arrive, disappear in vapor.
From this clouded brain come foggy whims,
Uneven melodies, jotted hymns
No choir would approach, harmonize,
Let alone perform, would rather demonize.

It's the last word on this tongue,
Until the next wayward inspiration flung.


\
14 lines, rhyming couplets

The next rhyming poem inspired by Brenpoet *HeartV*







d1931


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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/blog/ripglaedr3/day/12-31-2019