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(117)
Rated: 18+ · Book · Spiritual · #1149750
10k views, 2x BestPoetryCollection. A nothing from nowhere cast words to a world wide wind
I’m disabled by more than blindness.

Writing: Like one of those adventure games where you go off questing in different directions but you don’t advance in life. Pretty medallions sought for words/my soul, slow burnt. Full of misdirects, right back at the start, but still quest with thirst.

Life of turmoil produces stuff like this. Not going to call it beautiful agony…it gets a bit uglier. Minced words too pungent. If they take time to notice, must be doing something right.

scripturam in hoc non mutamus, quia stultus es et differentiam nescies.

(hic)

The beautiful mess you made:
I had a lover's quarrel with the world - Robert Frost

         |
I'm sorry you got caught in the middle. - me

Neurodivergent poet seeks love without that fart in the room between us. Honesty without mincing words has come with a price for those juggling the hot my takes on what’s ‘truth’ (here’s some oven mitts). Best to stay clear of those surrounded by moat rules.

Real dialogue is accepted.

Wasn’t as open at first about recent diagnosis on spectrum with ADHD (complicated by PTSD, life of brain traumas). Been suggested by doctors of late I might want another brain scan (since 12/4/17…blogged).

This poet’s words collect, arrange on a kaleidoscope spectrum. The experience of discovery through writing is the truest reward that has allowed me to grow and learn who/what I am — what other people get naturally, immediately, while I stomp around in it.

Been blessed, but pushing it — envelope, world and all inhabitants away. Push buttons, find boundaries to trip traps. No clue why cat curiosity, living in your dark. (Bored, perhaps?)

Now and then, push dirt out of this hole; someone/thing/entity might envision me how I need to be viewed (if I knew what that was). Cryptic, yes. Try living in my dark, find comfort amid strange, virtual, wonderful walls that tower above, tempt me to scale.

Been more than I could imagine or expect here. But, achievements aren’t going on a LinkedIn wall *Think*. I dig deeper than I should, often without forethought. Aimless words, brave or veiled cowardice, flinchingly flung, inadvertently hit targets? Get a ‘back off’ shoulder shot when asking your motivations here. Not fair?

No prize to eye; not incentivized. Dealt the worst two cards before the flop, do best with what’s in hand.



My Pluggers:
You are an icon here.*BigSmile*
You suffer, but you suffer brilliantly. Wow, what a great writer.*Heart*


It’s like plugging myself, but using other people’s (reviewers) words…Review of "Poetic Referendum(s) On Life"
Your poetic muse is on fire! *Fire* Some great emotion, well-balance(d), lovely lyrical qualities -- even the ones that were written out of sadness or anger came through in a clever cadence…It's obvious you've put a lot of work into each entry and the totality of the blog has eye appeal. *Cool*

 
Published four times with one a literary journal, including… *PointRight*   "The Tender Core (Sedona)
I don’t submit because it’s too much work. Truly alone, know no one cares to show they believe/support me. Lip service feeds delusion. I’ve seen a lot of smoldering and snow. Try not be cynical, work hard at openness and consideration — work, sooo…gut thing.

*Toilet* *RibbonW* Merit Badge in Taboo Words
[Click For More Info]

Brian,

Congratulations! You won 1st Place in Taboo Words with your fantastic poem, [Link to Book Entry #1027659]. 

I absolutely loved this! *^*Heart*^*

Rachel Merit Badge in Poetry
[Click For More Info]

    Thanks you for supporting the  [Link To Item #power]  with an order to the  [Link To Item #powergifts] ! We appreciate it. *^*Heartv*^* Keep writing the beautiful poetry. [Link to Book Entry #1027659] is an awesome poem! *^*Starv*^* ~Lornda

 
Love my process constructing and sharing visions in words collected (no small task considering personal and physical limitations, see below).


August 28, 2006 this blog opened

BOOK
SuperNova Afterglow: End Of Days  (18+)
All that remains: here in my afterlife as a 'mainstream' blogger, with what little I know.
#1300042 by Brian ~ Kognitive DissonanCe


No specific aim going forward (2014)

 
What I used to say: 'Maybe, I just don't get it. Watch me fumble with my version of reality, expose ignorance as truth. You don't have to get me, either. But, wish someone would explain me to myself.' Now I say: *Cool* *FacePalm* Now: I was such a whore.
 


*Laugh*This is old….
What? Oh, this? A rhetorical, self-motivational speech I'm working on.
Don't just read the parts to construct your theory, as if to confirm (construed out of context) your opinion, mentally-stunted Neanderthal. Therapist wants me to be less negative toward myself. I see it as attacking, rather than being defensive. Fear I will chomp too many bullets unintentionally sent toward the unsuspecting.
If you can be triggered for stupid reasons, then I?
…just looked like me rolling around on the floor with myself.*RollEyes*
             



What Was NEW

Who am I, you ask? My mirror knows that question, repeated daily.

Just trying to create a little buzz, not boost my ego.

#amwriting #poetry #blog #contest #freeverse #award #bestpoetry #freyaridings #lyrics #music #video #YouTube

Can you believe it took this long for someone to put a quarter in me and push the button GET ANGRY?
 

Mud 4 My Eye: Is that you, Poo? 💩 Secret Back Door

The Best Poetry Collection on Writing.Com
February 3, 2021 at 8:52am
February 3, 2021 at 8:52am
#1003547
Nothing Journey

Stab the pale to pierce the dark heart
         purge putrid blood befouling a blade of purpose

left to rest in the slumped hump
now guarding an entrance
         that all others be forewarned

about aim
in these journeys into nothing

about how no thing became nothing.

1.29.21

February 3, 2021 at 8:49am
February 3, 2021 at 8:49am
#1003545
more messages collecting...spinning...antithetical

I don't want to be informed by you

I know enough
but not enough to listen to the sounds between us
where we could unify if
the right frequency found

but who could know what I mean?

1.29.21

How long can I chase the setting sun on the equatorial highway
before I tire to regret
roses never witnessed in bloom (cliche?),
the stillness magnetism affords
as I lie
on the spinning dirt gem.

1.29.21

edited 6.20.21
February 3, 2021 at 8:45am
February 3, 2021 at 8:45am
#1003544
tiny messages
accumulating
brilliant wonder from above...

crisp, white
melts into a sour head...

lightening
for a jar repurposed...

all contained
comes to life...

the lid
lost long ago...

filled hope
dreams escaping...


1.29.21
added 2.3.21
6.20.21 edited
2.6.22 edited

added ellipses like snowflakes to heighten messages of snow in disjointed messages, though not really clear what this is about, still reaching for something to make it pointed, cohesive?

I could move the text about the page to envision snowfall, but only if I see purpose for this piece.

More focused on 2.6.22 edit, the notion that snowflakes from the sky brighten promise, return us to childhood to realize previous hope and dreams in an instant, though fleeting; perhaps a serendipitous signal we can take for renewal or eventually treat like a cruel reminder we cannot complete our earlier visions...but at least be in the moment for once, remember, reminisce, before that sliding door, too, shuts. Maybe, one day, opens again?
February 3, 2021 at 8:41am
February 3, 2021 at 8:41am
#1003543
The Howling

You forgot you were hungry
since all the caressing --
         yellow freedom re-envisioned
beneath the window,
ground anchored,
before clouds interfere
and the howling from within returns.

Inevitable night awakening,
renewal becomes hard, as
a portion lives longer than the other.

1.29.21
added 2.3.21
6.20.21 edit

who knows what the hell this is. Changed a bit from original.


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