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(116)
Rated: 18+ · Book · Spiritual · #1149750
10k views, 2x BestPoetryCollection. A nothing from nowhere cast words to a world wide wind
I’m disabled by more than blindness.

Writing: Like one of those adventure games where you go off questing in different directions but you don’t advance in life. Pretty medallions sought for words/my soul, slow burnt. Full of misdirects, right back at the start, but still quest with thirst.

Life of turmoil produces stuff like this. Not going to call it beautiful agony…it gets a bit uglier. Minced words too pungent. If they take time to notice, must be doing something right.

scripturam in hoc non mutamus, quia stultus es et differentiam nescies.

(hic)

The beautiful mess you made:
I had a lover's quarrel with the world - Robert Frost
         |
I'm sorry you got caught in the middle. - me

Neurodivergent poet seeks love without that fart in the room between us. Honesty without mincing words has come with a price for those juggling the hot my takes on what’s ‘truth’ (here’s some oven mitts). Best to stay clear of those surrounded by moat rules.

Real dialogue is accepted.

Wasn’t as open at first about recent diagnosis on spectrum with ADHD (complicated by PTSD, life of brain traumas). Been suggested by doctors of late I might want another brain scan (since 12/4/17…blogged).

This poet’s words collect, arrange on a kaleidoscope spectrum. The experience of discovery through writing is the truest reward that has allowed me to grow and learn who/what I am — what other people get naturally, immediately, while I stomp around in it.

Been blessed, but pushing it — envelope, world and all inhabitants away. Push buttons, find boundaries to trip traps. No clue why cat curiosity, living in your dark. (Bored, perhaps?)

Now and then, push dirt out of this hole; someone/thing/entity might envision me how I need to be viewed (if I knew what that was). Cryptic, yes. Try living in my dark, find comfort amid strange, virtual, wonderful walls that tower above, tempt me to scale.

Been more than I could imagine or expect here. But, achievements aren’t going on a LinkedIn wall *Think*. I dig deeper than I should, often without forethought. Aimless words, brave or veiled cowardice, flinchingly flung, inadvertently hit targets? Get a ‘back off’ shoulder shot when asking your motivations here. Not fair?

No prize to eye; not incentivized. Dealt the worst two cards before the flop, do best with what’s in hand.



My Pluggers:
You are an icon here.*BigSmile*
You suffer, but you suffer brilliantly. Wow, what a great writer.*Heart*

It’s like plugging myself, but using other people’s (reviewers) words…Review of "Poetic Referendum(s) On Life"
Your poetic muse is on fire! *Fire* Some great emotion, well-balance(d), lovely lyrical qualities -- even the ones that were written out of sadness or anger came through in a clever cadence…It's obvious you've put a lot of work into each entry and the totality of the blog has eye appeal. *Cool*

 
Published four times with one a literary journal, including… *PointRight*   "The Tender Core (Sedona)" 
I don’t submit because it’s too much work. Truly alone, know no one cares to show they believe/support me. Lip service feeds delusion. I’ve seen a lot of smoldering and snow. Try not be cynical, work hard at openness and consideration — work, sooo…gut thing.

*Toilet* *RibbonW* Merit Badge in Taboo Words [Click For More Info] Brian, Congratulations! You won 1st Place in Taboo Words with your fantastic poem, [Link to Book Entry #1027659]. I absolutely loved this! *^*Heart*^* Rachel Merit Badge in Poetry [Click For More Info] Thanks you for supporting the [Link To Item #power] with an order to the [Link To Item #powergifts] ! We appreciate it. *^*Heartv*^* Keep writing the beautiful poetry. [Link to Book Entry #1027659] is an awesome poem! *^*Starv*^* ~Lornda

 
Love my process constructing and sharing visions in words collected (no small task considering personal and physical limitations, see below).


August 28, 2006 this blog opened ▼

BOOK
SuperNova Afterglow: End Of Days  (18+)
All that remains: here in my afterlife as a 'mainstream' blogger, with what little I know.
#1300042 by Brian KC


No specific aim going forward (2014) ▼

 
What I used to say: 'Maybe, I just don't get it. Watch me fumble with my version of reality, expose ignorance as truth. You don't have to get me, either. But, wish someone would explain me to myself.' Now I say: *Cool* *FacePalm* Now: I was such a whore.
 


*Laugh*This is old….
What? Oh, this? A rhetorical, self-motivational speech I'm working on.
Don't just read the parts to construct your theory, as if to confirm (construed out of context) your opinion, mentally-stunted Neanderthal. Therapist wants me to be less negative toward myself. I see it as attacking, rather than being defensive. Fear I will chomp too many bullets unintentionally sent toward the unsuspecting.
If you can be triggered for stupid reasons, then I?
…just looked like me rolling around on the floor with myself.*RollEyes*
             



What Was NEW

Who am I, you ask? My mirror knows that question, repeated daily.

Just trying to create a little buzz, not boost my ego.

#amwriting #poetry #blog #contest #freeverse #award #bestpoetry #freyaridings #lyrics #music #video #YouTube

Can you believe it took this long for someone to put a quarter in me and push the button GET ANGRY?
 

Mud 4 My Eye: Is that you, Poo? 💩 Secret Back Door ▼

The Best Poetry Collection on Writing.Com ▼
September 9, 2020 at 7:56pm
September 9, 2020 at 7:56pm
#992908
                                       i stand here on the edge of the universe
                                       hoping gravity will fail,
                                       knowing you won't catch me
                                       should i go flailing toward
                                       that magnificent sun,
                                       so strongly compelling a soul
                                       to be absorbed by brilliance,
                                       knowing i don't have a chance
                                       to prove my worth,
                                       when you need something on good faith,
                                       when really it should be the reverse
                                       in your slickly devised world
                                       where i climb cliffs,
                                       dare and shout, as if canyons
                                       could hear echoes of years
                                       of self-doubt, when i edged
                                       further out until i could
                                       see a dream burning for me,
                                       eternally like damnation;
                                       flesh for the fire
                                       of your desire,
                                       should i
                                       fall off.

                                       it's torture for a magnetic one
                                       who looks longingly,
                                       blindly...


9.9.20

as the song informs...
September 9, 2020 at 7:34pm
September 9, 2020 at 7:34pm
#992906
spent
kill me

interesting way to hold a dagger

finish me
dead

wield experience to my uninformed heart

alive
you dispatch

a desperate soul enticing would be villain

my heart
strike

you'll never finish me off that way

wrists
still bleed

no place for this blood gushing out

streets red
fed

no, i'm not really dead. your had your chance

my turn
dance

I'm stabbing at words in the dark, how do I

find the
heart?

you're done playing your part. It's time to

dig
your grave.


9.9.20
September 9, 2020 at 7:07pm
September 9, 2020 at 7:07pm
#992901
half way and still building

that summit i saw miles ago i travel to.
i never near
that ocean placed between us --
lack a boat.
this theme is building
in my heart.

the story of the solo traveler on a journey
to no where --
no destination in particular, unless the story
finds me here.
the theme is building
in my soul.

too weary from thoughts of hills and dales,
my mind slopes.
i see a river below and no boat
to row.
no story is brewing.

better put it on the back burner
until another time,
drink my coffee and then whine
about how i never tried
because i never set true goals

to get you to meet me
half way.


9.9.20
12.28.21 edit
September 9, 2020 at 6:28pm
September 9, 2020 at 6:28pm
#992897
It hurts too much to pursue you
I trust that you're inside my head
So many seasons you come and you go
without anyway to know how to capture
you yet. It hurts to believe in what
is unseen, but I still have dream until
this naightmare ends. You have been the one
constant on the horizon begging my eyes
to believe, that you could be attained,
life with no refrains plays on inside
of my head, now dead. I know that I
seem to romanticize, but what else
have I got to give or reason to
live? To pursue you was not the
best choice that I could have made,
but what other reason to try once you
caught my eye. A blazing diamond with blue

Do I regret?

screeeech!!! dead end (guess who, again?)

9.9.20


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