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 Well, not so much fun and leisure as...get some damn writing done, you fool! |
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A while ago, I attended a writers' workshop and the lady who hosted it told us all to go away with this bit of advice - to write for just ten minutes a day. I was determined to go ahead with it and I did...for two days. So today I remembered that I'd resolved to do so and I whipped out my journal and wrote for fifteen minutes. I'm typing out pretty much the same thing that I wrote earlier, with some differences. I find I can go a lot more in-depth when I'm typing than when I'm writing by hand. Writing by hand is such a chore! I've struggled with loneliness a lot throughout my twenty-nine years. I struggled with it when I was the only one home with my mum when I was a teen and everybody else had other places to be. I struggled with it after marriage and when we moved into our own house for the first time. I struggled with it after my son was born and I felt torn between pursuing my writing and being a good mum, because my culture seems to indicate that a woman has absolutely no chance of living her own life - or at least, she has no chance of attaining any goals she hasn't already attained - once she has children. I feel it occasionally still, even though I get so little time to myself nowadays that any alone time is simply awesome. I've tried to come to terms with the idea that being alone isn't a bad thing - and a lot of the time, it isn't. My friends don't live nearby so I don't get to see them often, and even when I do, I feel like there isn't much depth to our conversations. I'm surrounded by people who do not think like me, who do not share any of my interests and hobbies. I feel like I've become desensitised to isolation. Loneliness is my preferred way to be. I walked into my college cafeteria at lunch today and it was the usual hubbub of activity. Youngsters walking around, chatting animatedly, shouting across the room, laughing, eating, socialising. I could recall how that clamour wouldn't have bothered me ten-twelve years ago, when I would have been one of the youngsters talking excitedly with her friends. But, as this moment, I just found an out-of-the-way little table and sat down. I watched the crowds for a while, wondering why it was only at moments like these that the sense of isolation became so strong. In the middle of a crowd, I feel most alone. |
| 23:14 So three quarters of an hour left before I would have missed today's ten minutes of writing! I know, I'm cutting it close. Although I was out today too, I've no excuse. I've been home for hours and I've had hours since I put the little one to bed. I've just been watching Netflix. Damned Netflix...! Last night, I did a fair bit of writing for my current short story. I'm starting to get a feel for the story now, just a little bit. I'm starting to visualise the character in my head. I know who she is and a little bit of what she's like. I can now start making a character profile for her. I've never made note of the process before so it's interesting, looking back on it. I started with a blank canvas and then made up a name for her on the spot. Despite wanting to make up meaningful names for my characters, oftentimes, I just go with whatever I'm feeling at that point. I won't leave the name blank until I can come up with something better because I need it then and there. The character needs to be called something. Sometimes the name is stupid but once it's there, it sticks. I have a lot of difficulty renaming characters. Anyways, once I have a name, I can start guessing a few other things about them and thus the character backgrounds, likes and dislikes, childhood crushes, family structures, things like that all start falling into place. Well, not magically falling into place. There's work in there, of course, but it has to feel like it's falling into place as the story goes on. A lot of the time, I think I come up with characters by going off of other characters in other works which I am a fan of. Anime guys, for example. Kyoya Hibari from Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is a prominent one. He inspired the hero of my main novel, who is dark-haired and blue-eyed and is aloof. In fact, my main novel started off as a fanfic featuring him. But I've reworked him quite a bit since then, although the initial name stayed. Names are important, right? They give first impressions. They become labels. They become identifiers. That's why it's so difficult to rename. I couldn't imagine IRL being called anything other than my name, even though I hated my name for a long time. I still do, to an extent. Well, that's my little rant on names. I don't even know how it got to that point. 23:28 Fourteen mins, yay! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| 21:59 I've been putting off writing my blog today, because I've been out and I didn't want to use my phone to update it. I did a whole load of backstorying for my Elementals story last night so that was a good, productive day. I want to start writing the story but I don't yet have the backstories for the other two Elementals in place and I'm very much caught up in the idea of short stories helping me to familiarise myself with my characters. Speaking of short stories, I now have another prompt to write. 8000 words! I'm confident I can do it but it's a lot of words! I'm on the Air Elemental right now, but she's completely uninteresting at the moment so I'm thinking I'll move on to Earth, who is the main character of the novel. But I'm in two minds about her too, since I'll have the entirety of the novel to learn about her and Fire's characters and rework them as I see fit so I don't want to be constrained by something I've already written for them. I guess I'll just have to grit my teeth and get on with Air's story. What I discovered about the Elementals' world while I was writing the "history" of the planet was that the Elementals have shaped the planet into what it is today so the individual Provinces for the Elements should be countries instead. So maybe Fire's people live near the centre of the planet, where it's hottest. Water is all around. Air is above everything. Earth is self-explanatory. Well, they all are, to a degree. ...Whoops, I received a message. I don't know how long I spent on the message. And now it's 22:15! So...mission accomplished? ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| 12:31 I feel like I don't utilise my blog as much as I should. I don't really enjoy it. I keep coming back to it because it's on my checklist and I want a minimum of ten minutes of writing every day. But I keep looking at the time when I'm writing, to check whether it's been ten minutes. If I had a good topic to write about, I wouldn't even notice the time. I liked the idea of writing my blog from the POV of my characters but the one time I tried it, it felt weird. I mean, I suppose it has potential to make me more aware of my characters' inner workings, but I just wasn't feeling it so I haven't tried it again. I am a writer and I'm writing a blog for the sake of writing but can I write about writing? What do I write about? Maybe I should write a bunch of writing-related suggestions on small pieces of paper and then fold them up and put them in a hat so I can choose a different one every day? But I'm wasting time just doing this ten minute thing every day, because I know I'm capable of so much more. All right, since I've been meaning to get some background information on my Elementals series, maybe I can try mapping it out here. So, the Elementals, who are the rulers of their respective "Provinces": Keeper of the Fire Spirit of the Earth Child of the Water Princess of the Air I have no idea what the world is called. I have no idea if these Provinces are actual countries or if they're four parts of the same land. Province would suggest different parts of the same country, right? I made this up years ago so I can't quite remember what the idea was since I didn't write down any background info about the land/world. After writing the first proper draft for Rift-touched, I'm a bit obsessed with mapping out the small details, like I'm going to fail miserably if I don't. Anyways, so these four Provinces were, once upon a time, living in...harmony. Kind of. Air presided over two, being a key component to make fire burn and to allow for the formation of water. It owes its allegiance to Earth, whose plants gave it birth. Fire is selfish, not aiding any of the others, and owing fealty but unwilling to give it to Earth, whose trees are its fuel. Water nourishes Earth and smothers Fire. Fire is the troublemaker, who could not stand being of the Earth. It wanted independence so it broke away from Earth and Air's rule. It was regarded as the lesser element so it wanted to show its strength. Delving deep beneath the Earth's boundaries, amid stone, it was a weakling and rested to allow itself to grow. Feeding on the stone, reaching higher temperatures and higher levels of destruction. ...I started watching YouTube in the middle of this. I don't know why (O)_(O) But hey, sixteen minutes! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| 14:36 In contrast to yesterday, I'm not doing so good today. Not too bad, either, but I've definitely been better. My son is down for a nap so I thought I'd take the opportunity to get some stuff done. Three and a half items crossed off my list. I'm getting aggravated right now because my husband is on the phone a few paces away. He has such a LOUD voice. I want to throw my shoe at him because I'm worried the little one will wake up. His voice goes louder when he's on the phone, as if he needs it to! What am I supposed to write about when all I can hear is his LOUD voice? It's like a blockade in the way of my thoughts! ...And the little one is awake! ARGH! I could beat this guy up! There goes my opportunity to get some writing done! Argh, I'm so mad! I'm so tired. I don't get enough sleep most days. If it's not the little one keeping me up, it's the big one with the LOUD voice! I have been trying to get to sleep earlier nowadays, but it doesn't work. Evening is the only time I get some freedom to do what I want, since naps are becoming less of a daily thing. I've been trying to work on the Elementals back stories, but I haven't really gotten anywhere. I enjoyed the previous prompt, as I knew I had to get it finished for a particular time. This other backstory is not working so well. I have so little interest in it. I think I'll try writing out the story. Maybe discovering the character in the main story will encourage me to delve into her past. Something's got to give. Ten minutes! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| 14:43 I get a day to myself! YAAAAAAAAAAAAY! I'm so happy! With it being the holidays and both of us having to endure each other all day every day, I think my son and I were starting to go mad. I get so fed up with him and I don't like getting out of the house so I don't take him out every day. That affects both of us. But, for today, his dad has taken him to visit some far-away relatives. I would have gone too but I've a headache and my back has been bothering me so I didn't think I'd be able to endure two hours cooped up in the car. But, onto the good stuff! With this blog entry done and dusted, that'll be three things crossed off my checklist. I have three other activities to do and then I'm free for the day! I'm thinking of a Netflix marathon - I started watching another K-drama last night and it's looking good so far. I'm a little bit stuck on my short story still. I've not been giving it the time it deserves so I thought I'd try to get at least a thousand words down before the day is up. I'll try to do that after I've finished this entry. I'm not thinking enough about my stories. I'm so lazy! I don't know what else to write about. I appear to have developed a YouTube addiction, and I hate it. Why don't phones come with the option of deleting some of the less-useful apps? My God! Ever since I decided that I definitely want a cat, I've been watching cat videos and they just keep on coming. I can't resist! That's eleven minutes. I'm so tired. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| 20:49 I have been putting off coming on the computer today, for a couple of reasons. One, I spent ages on it last night and my back was hurting a lot in the morning. Two, I'm trying (and failing) to potty train my son. I've removed his nappy and so I have to keep an eye on him in case he leaks and I'm not attentive enough to realise. I need a break from this! If people had told me motherhood was this annoying, I would have said "No, thank you!" He just does not seem to get the concept of weeing in the toilet, despite showing plenty of signs that he's ready. He's done number two in the loo a few times now, but he won't tell me if he needs to go and he'll do it in his pants instead. We clearly have a long way to go! I'm keeping up with the checklist, but there isn't much on it today. Of the five activities on there, I've done four (including this one), and the last entry only reads "story". I have no idea which story I had in mind for that. I've begun work on the Elementals series. I'm trying to come up with the air Elemental's backstory but though the idea of her living in a city in the sky (like a large scale Laputa) is very appealing and all, I just don't feel like I'm very interested as it is at the moment. I guess I'll just have to keep writing and smooth out the edges. Ideas don't pop into writers' heads fully formed, after all. I enjoyed writing Child of the Water because I'd already done a story set on the ocean floor, featuring merfolk, so I took elements from that and was able to experiment and come up with something I thought was cool. But that took some work too, when I started it. I need to learn to keep to an idea rather than jumping to the next shiny one that pops into my head. Twelve minutes! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| Time: 19:29 I'm a bit late today, as I've been out all day. My niece had a birthday party to go to at a...I don't even know what to call it. A leisure park, I guess? With a ski slope, trampolining, arcades, and places to eat. So while my niece went there, the rest of us went around the shops. But the first order of business, of course, was to fill our bellies! With dessert! We went to this Italian place and, by God, their gelato was delicious! I had a white chocolate swirl, with this scrumptious blood orange sauce. It was to die for! I'm wondering when I'll get to go again. I'm having dinner while I'm typing so I might not get as much done as usual - I know, the horror! How dare I bring food and drink near the computer! I've not had a proper meal all day so I'm trying to multitask lol. Because of the day out, my checklist is not even halfway done. Speaking of the checklist, I'm really glad I've managed to abide by it every day this past week. It's helped curb my laziness a bit and I don't spend hours and hours on Netflix. I sat down to watch a movie last night because I'd ticked off all the activities on the checklist and I felt a little guilty because I'd have much rather been doing something productive than sitting on my ass watching crappy rom-coms. This lamb biryani I'm eating is delicious! That's eleven minutes! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| Time: 11:20 SO I want to try out the idea of writing my blog from my character's POV and their response to everyday things. I haven't planned it or anything so here goes! Aoi: Work has been slow this morning. Acey keeps on at me about finishing my reports. Never have I met a man who is such a nag. There are no missions for me to do - the few that have come in today have been relatively small so I sent some of the other guys to do them. We've not had word of Franks for several weeks so the case is gathering dust. I wish he'd appear, just to give me something to do. I suppose I could go back home for a while. Aki would be happy to have someone to chatter at. She is becoming very talkative nowadays. I feel like she must have been a lively little girl before her family's deaths. It's great that she's finally comfortable enough around us to talk to us so freely. These past few months, she didn't trust anyone. Going outside anywhere put her on edge. But she's getting used to it now. I often find her wandering around in the street when I return home after work. Haku came home a few nights ago. As usual, I don't think I was quite able to convey my true feelings on the matter. He must think I don't care that he's back. I told him I was glad, but I don't think I used the right words. I don't know how to talk to people, even those closest to me. I don't have it in me to be like the others and welcome him with open arms. I don't trust easily and he broke my trust. I know I also have a part in play in the breaking of that trust, but he is no longer someone of this family. I will treat him like my brother still - he will always be my brother, even if he chooses to leave and never comes back again - but I don't know how different my treatment of him will be after the three year absence. I recognise him as family but he is also an outsider now. Twelve minutes! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| Time: 15:16 I think eating those three scrummy chocolates yesterday unleashed the sweet lover in me, and she's thirsting for more. I have opened the gates to hell... I just have a sore sore and I've been coughing a bit, but nothing too bad. Why did I have to have such an enormous sweet tooth? But I don't know what other tasty, grab-and-go, healthy snacks there are that I can eat with a cup of tea. I've not had lunch because I can't be bothered making anything. Terrible, I know. The "lazy" in "LazyWriter" isn't confined to just writing, you know. The story prompt I've been working on this week is due in before the end of today. I did well last night. I started again and got about 3700+ words of my total 5000. So now I just need to write about 1200+. I'm going back to the Elementals story idea I mentioned a few entries back and the short story I did was around one of these "Elementals". It was a good experience as I've not delved into his character much. For the next prompt - if there is another - I'll write about one of the others and then start planning out the story - I told myself I'd give being a "plotter" a try. But really, just having a vague idea of a story climax is usually enough for me to keep going. Writing out chapter summaries annoys me. It sounds so constraining. Is my creativity a dog that I'm putting a leash on it and taking it where I want it to go? That was a sucky analogy. In any case, I'll give it a shot. In other news, I'm thinking maybe I can use my blog to create one-time characters and then pick them up later if I need some inspiration or one of them really stands out. It might be an interesting exercise. Or maybe write entries as different characters. That sounds interesting! I can't imagine the main character of my novel writing a blog, mainly because he lives in a time that's akin to the early 20th century  Twelve minutes! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| Time: 12:58 ...Well, no. Don't help me. I rather like chocolate. Too much, in fact. And then my throat gets all scratchy and I start to cough uncontrollably, which is especially bad at night. No sleep. I should probably not eat these three bite-sized little chunks of sugary goodness, but I already got then from the box so my mind is already made up. I haven't had chocolate in days! Not counting the chocolate snack bar I had yesterday, of course. But there was only a little bit in there so it doesn't really count. The problem with staying away from sugary foods is that I have a massive sweet tooth. I can give up anything but I cannot totally cut out sweet stuff. Why do I have chocolate in the first place if it's bad for me, you ask? Well, that's because people keep gifting me with it! I have boxes from last year still sitting around. Can't people be more creative with their gifts? I mean, come on! I like writing, so a notebook would be nice. I like baking. Even some flour would be nice! But why give me stuff that's trying to kill me? Oooh, Galaxy Caramel! Get in! It's wonderful! T_T I'll start to feel the effects in a few minutes, no doubt, but at the moment, with the taste buds still rejoicing, I feel like it's worth it. Poison in a promising package, no? In other news, I got stuck with my story prompt. Nearly halfway through and I don't know what to write. Perhaps I should try the "plotter" method of writing. I ramble too much when I let the story unfold as I go along. But the idea of plotting it all out doesn't sound very appealing either. Maybe I can find some middle ground. Eleven minutes! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
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