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51
51
Review of She Takes Over  
Review by Candlemaker
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Macabbey,

This is very powerful—and very painful to all of us who have someone we love who knows “Ana.” I am such a person, and your poem moves me deeply. You are very gifted at expressing strong emotion with your lines. Keep on writing poetry. You have a real knack for it.

Bob
52
52
Review by Candlemaker
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Macabbey,

This is beautiful beyond words! It went straight to my heart. I like the simplicity of your lines. They carried me with an easy flow all the way through the piece. Not every poet succeeds in doing that. My favorite lines are these:
Till the sun wont shine,
and the trees stop growing.
Till the water stops flowing,
and the moon stops glowing.
There is a definite strength of passion and of will expressed here. The object of the writer’s love is fortunate indeed.

God bless.

Bob
53
53
Review of Once Was An Angel  
Review by Candlemaker
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Teresa,

This is such a splendid tribute to your grandmother! And of course, she will always live on. I wish I had a piece of poetry I wrote when I was nine. I wish I had WRITTEN a poem when I was nine! I have an over dramatic poem I wrote when I was a junior in high school. The title was “Until the Night Is O’er.” It was about my intense passion for the (then) love of my life: a fiery red-head.

Teresa, I have so missed you in the forum. I look forward to the beginning of class tomorrow and the fellowship it will provide us.

This early poem, written when you were nine, gives a tiny peek at what a wonderful soul you are.

Bob
54
54
Review of The Coming Storm  
Review by Candlemaker
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
A review given through: ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


Hello Pepper,

My name is Bob, known here as the Candlemaker. This review is part of your shower from "Showering Acts of Joy Garden" . It is my pleasure to review this item for you today. Bear in mind, these comments are MY thoughts. Your piece is an expression of yourself. It is a part of you. After reading your fine piece, "The Coming Storm"  I offer you the following comments.

I LOVE your poem! It is a masterpiece of the sinister. The heaviness of evil pervades your lines. I felt like you depicted something to dread. You didn’t come right out and say that the serpent represents Satan; your approach is more subtle. But the idea comes across. Your language is powerful. You have two lines I wish I had written:
“The serpent slithers through the shadows”
and
“rushing and tumbling in a tumultuous struggle.”

Here’s a small suggestion:
You wrote:
“Their soft pink petals
basking in the orange glow of the moonlight --
mocking him as they glorify God.”
This is not a sentence. I know it doesn’t have to be, but I think it would strengthen your piece. All it would take would be to change basking to bask. Just a thought.

At first glance I resisted these lines:

“Cold and envious, his anger seethes,
until his soul begins a slow burn –“
I thought cold didn’t work with slow burn. But, as I look at it again, I think the contrast is genius. Pepper, you’re a poet to be reckoned with. My hat’s off to you.

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Great job!

And thanks for a delightful read.

Bob
55
55
Review of Love of Distance  
Review by Candlemaker
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
A review given through: ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


Hello Talera,

My name is Bob, known here as the Candlemaker. This review is part of your shower from "Showering Acts of Joy Garden" . It is my pleasure to review this item for you today. Bear in mind, these comments are MY thoughts. Your piece is an expression of yourself. It is a part of you. After reading your fine piece, "Love of Distance"  I offer you the following comments.

I simply love this poem. You are quite the romantic! You express yourself very well. Your lines take me smoothly and gently from beginning to end. Not every poet can do that. Your lines are rich in word pictures. I especially love these:
“the oceans of distance”
“beads of water on your skin”
and
“The wind caresses my face.”
Late in the poem, you have two lines that form a very natural and strong contrast leading up to your conclusion:
“Distance may keep us apart
But the elements keep us together”

I have only a couple of suggestions, both of them entirely optional. You wrote, “That moon and those stars are with you not long after” Somehow, that phrase doesn’t quite do it for me. I’d suggest “…will soon be with you too.” But that’s just me!

Secondly, Telara, I would give some thought to punctuating your poetry. It takes a bit of time and thought, but I think it adds a LOT. (This opinion varies from poet to poet.)

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Great job!

And thanks for a delightful read.

Bob
56
56
Review of Gentle Warrior  
Review by Candlemaker
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A review given through: ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


After reading your fine piece, "Gentle Warrior"  I offer you the following comments.

Pat! I am moved beyond words by this poem. I wouldn’t even think about suggesting any change at all. The flow is simply gratifying. It takes me from line to line with grace and ease. This is not a simple matter on your part. What appears to be done with such ease takes a lot of effort and time by the writer. You have a definite home run here. And I love the 8-6 meter. It is very effective for a poem of emotion.

Of course, I love your spot-on rhyme scheme. This is not as easy as it looks either. A lot of poets settle for a word that is close to a rhyme but not perfect. You have chosen the higher road here. I salute you for that.

But all of the above is simply mechanics. The true beauty of this poem is its depth and the truth behind it. No mother could fail to be moved. How appropriate for me to read it on Mother’s Day.

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Great job!

And thanks for a delightful read.

Bob
57
57
Review of Edge  
Review by Candlemaker
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E
A review given through: ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


Hello Pat,

Hi Pat,

What a delight for me to get a double header. First, a poet whom I already love. Then, a poem I totally love that is open for some input. This review shall be one of your SAJ five. After reading your fine piece, "Edge "  I offer you the following comments.

Pat, first let me say that you have written a deeply significant piece. Don’t let it sit around and get stale in the back recesses of your mind. It deserves a front seat in your work. Here are just a couple of thoughts off the top of my head:

I’d go with “Standing at the edge between Hope and Despair.” Kneeling indicates having fallen to your knees from the battle, or else invoking the help of the almighty. I don’t think either concept is proper at the beginning of the piece. Let the story unfold as it does.

You wrote, “Her Adversary cast an shadow.” By the use of “an,” you were clearly considering an adjective before “shadow.” I’d go with “ominous,” unless it is too obvious for the line.

“One final blow and her battle” *put to rest?* *ended?* *lost?* *over at last?*

Pat, I do NOT have enough of your frame of reference to assume the role of messing with your ending. Yet, your ending seems to me to leave the story unfinished. What is going to happen to this warrior . If I were writing this poem, I’d have to give it a final line, maybe like this:
“a dying warrior pleading for rest—
a warrior whose battle was not over.”

Well, heck. When I read that, it seems to somehow simplify and weaken the poem. Oh well, none of these suggestions may hit the nail on the head for you. Mainly, I just want to tell you how much I like the piece. The imagery and the emotion are quite superior!

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Great job!

And thanks for a very thoughtful read.

Bob
58
58
Review of My Lady  
Review by Candlemaker
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Clanbear,

This is beautiful! It has just the right touch of mystery and dreaminess. I love the lines,
“Thru the mist she walks
almost as if above the ground
she glides across my dreams”
I like your unassuming rhyme scheme, and the beauty of your language.

Check on your word, “cant.” It should be “can’t”.
And I’m pretty sure you meant to write “meet” instead of “met” in next to the last to line.

I am in a punctuation class with Becca. That’s how I found your port. I’m glad I found it.

Bob
59
59
Review of Legacy  
Review by Candlemaker
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This review is given through Showering Acts of Joy

Hi , HuntersMoon,

I found your poem through the Showering Acts of Joy forum. Please note that my suggestions are merely suggestions. Your poem is an expression of you, and it is beautiful. It is my pleasure to review your fine piece, "Legacy"  today.

I haven’t seen you around for a while! What a pleasure to connect again. What an incredibly beautiful piece! I confess to a tiny tear when I read it. This has not happened to me, but to one of my sons. The sadness is so vacant. (Happily, he went on to a good place again.) Every moment of this poem is an emotional moment for me. My very favorite lines are:

“We are like statues in the park, without heart
to feel or warmth to share, asking of the sky
questions that we are afraid to have answered.”

Your punctuation is spot-on! I would have done one thing differently:

I can’t see a reason for the semicolon after “apart” in the second line. The sentence stands alone, as does the next sentence. But that’s just me!


Thanks for sharing your excellent piece. Thanks for a very enjoyable read.

Bob
60
60
Review of DON'T TELL ME  
Review by Candlemaker
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
A review given through: ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Hi Sherri,

My name is Bob, known here as the Candlemaker. I found your poem through the “Showering Acts of Joy” group. It is my pleasure to review this item for you today. Bear in mind, these comments are MY thoughts. Your piece is an expression of yourself. It is a part of you. After reading your fine piece, "DON'T TELL ME"  , I offer you the following comments.


I like this poem a lot. I like the courage beneath it. I like the “in-your-face” attitude. I don’t have to read and read the piece to get the message. The message leaps off the page. I like that. It’s easier to deliver such a message than to stick with it. If this is a real life story, then I sincerely wish you well.

I’m a rhyme and rhythm man! So I love the form and the easy way the poem almost “reads itself”. Your rhyme scheme is spot on. I see a couple tiny changes that would give you a perfect 8-6 word count. (This may not be important to you, but I’d go crazy trying to make the word count perfect!)

“Don’t tell me (how much) you want me,
or that you’ll (still) be there.”


*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Great job!

And thanks for a very enjoyable read.

Bob
61
61
Review by Candlemaker
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
A review given through: ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Hi Michael,

My name is Bob, known here as the Candlemaker. I found your article through the “Showering Acts of Joy” group. It is my pleasure to review this item for you today. Bear in mind, these comments are MY thoughts. Your piece is an expression of yourself. It is a part of you. After reading your fine piece, "Digging into the past"  , I offer you the following comments.


I am so glad I ran across this delightful piece. You have written much wisdom here. And you have done so with a style that made me eager for more. Your lines carried me forward with anticipation and high interest. This is, sadly, not true with many essays, even though they may be very significant. I so appreciate the emphasis you place on realizing the value of ancestors. This is so very true and significant. Your word pictures are colorful and interesting. You took me there!

Here are some of the lines that appeal to me so strongly:

“We have the eyes and touch of our ancestors.”

“Talent would appear and seem to go across generations.”

“There is magic in almost every family and certainly in mine.”

Michael, your grammar is outstanding. This is vitally important if one wants to be read. Here are a couple of tiny corrections needed:

“penetrating eyes (came) down the generations” to match “and they saw things”

(left-handed) needs the hyphen.

(eavesdropping) is the proper spelling.

“and he never miss(ed).“


*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Great job!

And thanks for a very enjoyable read.

Bob
62
62
Review of Distance  
Review by Candlemaker
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
A review given through: ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Hi A.T.B.,

My name is Bob, known here as the Candlemaker. I found your poem through the “Showering Acts of Joy” group. It is my pleasure to review this item for you today. Bear in mind, these comments are MY thoughts. Your piece is an expression of yourself. It is a part of you. After reading your fine piece, "Distance"  , I offer you the following comments.

This is beautiful…very beautiful and very moving. It stirs a deep emotion in me. The writer seems to be torn between a passionate love and the “forbidden” nature of his beloved. My guess is she is “too young” for him or perhaps too attached to his family. At any rate, the writer is struggling to do the right thing, even though his heart is breaking for the object of his love. Your writing style is also a great pleasure to me. I’m a rhyme and rhythm man. Your words flow off the page with grace and beauty.

Let me just “play with” your poem for a moment. A few tiny changes would give you a perfect 7-7-7-10 form. This is not necessary of course! The message may be one that you don’t want to change in any way. Still, I’ll throw these suggestions out. For me, I would have this insane urge to make the rhythm perfect. .. *Smile*

(Yet) Beckoned by the Graces, be
Green eyes, (as) bright as beacons, I
For now I feel I've fallen for a friend.
Although these words (shall) linger on my lips. (Instead of “forever”)
I love you more than (one) could anything. (Instead of “anyone”)


*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Great job!

And thanks for a very enjoyable read.

Bob
63
63
Review of Trumpets Sound  
Review by Candlemaker
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A review given through: ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Hi Winnie,

I was delighted when I found your port in the “Showering Acts of Joy” group. It is my pleasure to review this item for you today. Bear in mind, these comments are MY thoughts. Your piece is an expression of yourself. It is a part of you. After reading your fine piece, "Trumpets Sound"  , I offer you the following comments.

I have read most of your poetry. Your poems share a similarity. They are perfectly crafted! They seem to have been written effortlessly, and they are a pleasure to read. (I doubt if they were, in fact, written effortlessly.) Your 8-7 meter is a pleasure to read, and your rhyme scheme flows with flawless delight without any strain to create the needed rhyme. All of this marks a good poet. I am even more impressed with the six “ation” words you chose. I’m not sure I could have done that! Kudos to you. The repetition of “Trumpets sound at dawn’s…” gives a growing drama to the piece.

There is only one exception to your perfect meter, and you are already aware of it I’m sure. I wouldn’t change it. The message is worth more than the form:

You wrote “Faithful gain lasting elation.” One way to keep the meter consistent throughout would be this: “Faithful ones gain full elation.” Like I say, “lastinig” might be more important that perfect meter.


*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Great job!

And thanks for a very enjoyable read.

Bob
64
64
Review of Good Ol' Boy  
Review by Candlemaker
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
A review given through: ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Hi Deb,

My name is Bob, known here as the Candlemaker. I found your poem through the “Showering Acts of Joy” group. It is my pleasure to review this item for you today. Bear in mind, these comments are MY thoughts. Your piece is an expression of yourself. It is a part of you. After reading your fine piece, "Good Ol' Boy"  , I offer you the following comments.

Again, this poem has a natural progression. And again, it ends up exactly in harmony with your belief system. I commend you for that. You have written a very good story of the old west, set in poetic form. I like that. It is easy for me to identify with the main character. I expect it will be easy for most readers to do so. The main character is both good and bad. He is happy about some of his decisions and disappointed in others. I’d say that’s a lot like all of us. I like the “good ol boy” flavor of the piece. It makes for good reading.


*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Great job!

And thanks for a very enjoyable read.

Bob
65
65
Review of Bridges  
Review by Candlemaker
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
A review given through: ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Hi Deb,

My name is Bob, known here as the Candlemaker. I found your poem through the “Showering Acts of Joy” group. It is my pleasure to review this item for you today. Bear in mind, these comments are MY thoughts. Your piece is an expression of yourself. It is a part of you. After reading your fine piece, "Bridges"  , I offer you the following comments.

This is truly beautiful. It is simple and straightforward. You express your thoughts with clarity and conviction. Your poem has a natural progression from the initial idea all the way to the ultimate bridge, Jesus Christ.

My favorite line is “Simple tools to get across the chasms.” This line has a good feel. It reminds me that there WILL be chasms, and also that God has given us tools for the journey.

Here’s a tiny typographical error you’ll want to correct. You wrote “ and sometimes just a little to wide”. It should be, ”a little (too) wide.”


*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Great job!

And thanks for a very enjoyable read.

Bob
66
66
Review of Roses in Heaven  
Review by Candlemaker
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love this on so many levels. You open with the beautiful metaphor of flowers, and you close with the same. I love your word pictures. My favorite is “And hold her for a while.” I can see God doing just that. “And tell her they’ve from me” indicates that we can communicate between life here and life there. I happen to believe that. I love the simple and profound beauty of the piece. It speaks of a very profound love. And finally, I love the form! (I’m a rhyme and rhythm man, but you know that.) Your spot-on rhyme scheme and your flawless 8-6 meter make this poem a delight for the reader. Thanks for sharing!

Bob
67
67
Review of The Anti-Christ  
Review by Candlemaker
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A review given through: ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


Hello Deanna,

This review is part of your shower for the "Showering Acts of Joy Group " It is my pleasure to review this item for you today. Bear in mind, these comments are MY thoughts. Your piece is an expression of yourself. It is a part of you. After reading your fine piece, "The Anti-Christ"  I offer you the following comments.

This is chilling as you intended. This is a poem of considerable significance. It is also well written, a flawless Tri-fall. The form suits the subject well. The three syllable lines seem to hammer in the message. You have achieved finality, a sense of ultimate desolation, and hopelessness. I’m curious where you got your concept of the Anti-Christ. It is pretty solid. The tradition is that a world leader will emerge. He will appear benevolent and able to bring spiritual relief to worldwide suffering. By the time humanity realizes his evil, it will be too late.

I see a couple of minor “infractions.” I’m sure you are aware of them, and I wouldn’t suggest you change them. “Leader” and “Eager” are not perfect rhymes. Neither are “Humanity” and “Vastity.” But the power of the thought is too important to nitpick. I considered a line like this: “To trample Christianity” instead of “to guide and charge this vastity.” But it would be a definite step in the wrong direction! I really don’t see anything I would change about this excellent piece! By the way, I learned a new word—vastity.

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Great job!

And thanks for a very thoughtful read.

Bob
68
68
Review of Prisoner of Love  
Review by Candlemaker
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi,Kym,

I discovered your port through the Showering Acts of Joy review board. It is my pleasure to review this item for you today. Bear in mind, these comments are MY thoughts. Your piece is an expression of yourself. It is a part of you. After reading your fine piece, "Prisoner of Love"  I offer you the following comments.

Your poem contains a vital message for a lot of people in “toxic” relationships. There is the good and the bad in everything. When the bad prevails, it is time to move on. You are very skillful at expressing yourself. I was caught up in your story. You let it unfold naturally. You painted a picture that became increasingly clear…this was not a good person to be with. The following lines give a real potency to the narrative:

“You charmed your way into my life
and discarded what was left.”
and
“I don’t care where you are going
you’ll be traveling it alone.” This statement lets the reader see that you have the courage to put this person in you past.

Here are a couple of suggestions:

“You(r)) drug dealings” You left off “r.”

“made me nervous.” To me, the word “nervous” is too weak. Perhaps “anxious”?

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Great job!

And thanks for a very enjoyable read.

Bob
69
69
Review by Candlemaker
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A review given through: ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


Hi, Nightmaryann,

I discovered your port through the Showering Acts of Joy review board. It is my pleasure to review this item for you today. Bear in mind, these comments are MY thoughts. Your piece is an expression of yourself. It is a part of you. After reading your fine piece, "Penelope, My Beloved Cat"  I offer you the following comments.

I like this! It goes straight to the heart of a pet lover, and I’m a pet lover. This is not a complicated poem. It is concise and direct. It is extremely tender hearted, arousing the emotions we have all felt if we have loved and lost a pet. The repetition of the main message-line is quite effective.

I especially love this line:
“Your soft, warm fur and wispy whiskers against my skin,” Vivid word pictures! Well done.

I only have a couple of suggestions. I wouldn’t use a capital “e” on “enchant.” Yes, all of the other lines begin with caps, but they are all complete sentences. I think it gives a nice visual effect for a continued sentence to begin the line with a small letter. (But that’s just me.)

I don’t want to be a comma “smart aleck.” I just completed “Comma Sense,” a class in the “New Horizons Academy. You don’t want a comma after “against my skin.” That comma separates the subject and the verb…a no-no. And you don’t need the comma after “my psyche.” You don’t have to set apart an ending prepositional phrase. It’s a long and beautiful sentence requiring no commas at all. (Violating these rules in the name of “poetic license” is perfectly acceptable!)

What a totally lovely piece!

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Great job!

And thanks for a very enjoyable read.

Bob
70
70
Review by Candlemaker
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, Dollzell,

This is a beautiful poem filled with emotion and longing. You have achieved a great contrast of hopelessness for the relationship and hope for the future possibilities of the relationship. Your lines drew me right into the spirit of your experience. This is what a poem is supposed to do!

I have a couple of minor suggestions.

In line one I’d do it this way:

“Sometimes I wonder why your face (should) reappear” That will make the use of “reappear” correct.

I’d go ahead and put in the periods at the end of each sentence. That would make the reading a bit easier.

Great job! Thanks for an enjoyable read.

Bob
71
71
Review by Candlemaker
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A review given through: ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Hi Deanna,

I would rather review poetry than any other form of writing! When you requested poetry reviews, you immediately struck a chord with me. It is my pleasure to review this item for you today. Bear in mind, these comments are MY thoughts. Your piece is an expression of yourself. It is a part of you. After reading your fine piece, "Living To Die, Living to Live"  I offer you the following comments.

“Living to Die, Living to Live” is not a casual piece! I’ve read it about five times, and I’s still not a hundred percent sure of the message of the first stanza. But my feeling is that even the first stanza is the beginning of the writer’s “emancipation.” He is shaking off the fear. He is taking the reins of his own life. There will be no more “good bye” post it notes written for regret. The second stanza is very clear and very encouraging. It identifies the source…”His light.”

My favorite line is ”Now I’m alive,
In the present time.” My opinion is that the present time is the only place of life and joy. The poetic form and the visual appeal are so delightful to me. I can see no area for improvement.

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Great job!

And thanks for a very enjoyable read.

Bob
72
72
Review of LOVE SONG  
Review by Candlemaker
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A review given through: ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Hi Deanna,

As you can see, I haven’t made a reviewing template with the various categories. I’m still considering that. “Showering Acts of Joy” is having a huge impact on my reviewing. It is my pleasure to review this item for you today. Bear in mind, these comments are MY thoughts. Your piece is an expression of yourself. It is a part of you. After reading your fine piece, {item: 1816992}, I offer you the following comments.

This is truly beautiful! I confess to having a little tear when I read this a couple of times. It is filled with sentiment and poignancy. Your lines absolutely drew me into the tenderness of your love and the “hope against hope” that this love would flourish again. I am a hopeless romantic. This poem was BORN for the hopeless romantic!

You didn’t find it necessary to use flowery language here. Part of the beauty of this piece is its very simplicity of phrase. It sort of tip-toes. It is absolutely enchanting.

I hesitate to make any suggestion at all. These are not crucial to the overall effect of the poem:

“But I know,
and you know” (“that” is assumed)
“time keeps ticking(,)
and life moves on.”
Two clauses joined by “and” use a comma.

and

“in a land unknown”(,)
would be best with a comma.

You, my friend, are a wonderful, romantic poet!

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Great job!

And thanks for a very enjoyable read.

Bob
73
73
Review by Candlemaker
Rated: E
Hi, Pat,

What a perfectly delightful story! And what keen insight into what “makes you tick.” You write with rich word pictures…vivid images. Your pace is crisp and captivating. You draw me right into the feelings of the adventure. You take me from desperate-to-please; to “uh-oh, what did I do?”; to euphoria at being trusted with a serious mission; to sudden panic; to conniving; to heavy guilt; and finally to resolution and perspective. (Don’t shut me out of “Punctuation Station” based on this nightmare sentence!) Methinks this little incident was one of those formative moments for you.

By the way, I LOVE the mention of the flowered feed sacks! For us, there was no outgrowing them. My mother cut them up and sewed dresses and shirts all the way through elementary school. Happily, there were some masculine patterns too.

Pat, nobody has to remind you how intelligent you are. That’s pretty clear! But look over your own story…of all the attributes of little girl Pat, “dumb” wasn’t even on the horizon!

Thanks for a great read and for sharing this little peek into your heart.

Bob
74
74
Review of The End of Summer  
Review by Candlemaker
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Winnie.

What a great joy it is for me to read your little masterpiece! Your story is absolutely rich with long sentences offering a smorgasbord of comma usage! (I wouldn’t have given that much thought a month ago.) However, that’s not the big point today, is it. The poignancy…the incredible poignancy…that’s the big point today.

I love every word of this! Here are a couple of my very favorites:

“To be called “friend” by Loy was an honor. She never judged or criticized. She spoke softly, with directness, honesty, truth and mostly love.”
and

“Winnie, let’s talk about this. Surely, our two great minds can figure this out.”

You close the piece with two incredible metaphors. Surely they are straight out of the mind of God! (If he’s a poet) My guess is that he is.

“Soar on, little martins. Delight in your flight. Winter is upon us. This is the end of summer.”

and

“… and touched the clouds with her martins.”

Thanks for including a tiny error so that your humble students can participate!

You wrote, “Emergency surgery was preformed” should be “performed.”

May God richly bless you, Winnie. Thanks so much for sharing this with us now.

In Him,

Bob
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Review by Candlemaker
Rated: E
Hi Pat.

This is superior! How exceedingly helpful! Know what? I was away from “Showering Acts of Joy” for a few days in the rush. Last night I did a couple of reviews for them. I completely forgot to post my review links into the forum! DUH! So this article has immediately helped an “old feller”!

You wrote: “You will learn to find a healthy balance between "honest" and "encouraging," as you grow in your +reviewing skills.” Why the + before ‘reviewing skills’?


I appreciate this a lot. I’ll go from here and read your other article. Bob
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