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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/blog/ripglaedr3/day/12-3-2021
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(116)
Rated: 18+ · Book · Spiritual · #1149750
10k views, 2x BestPoetryCollection. A nothing from nowhere cast words to a world wide wind
I’m disabled by more than blindness.

Writing: Like one of those adventure games where you go off questing in different directions but you don’t advance in life. Pretty medallions sought for words/my soul, slow burnt. Full of misdirects, right back at the start, but still quest with thirst.

Life of turmoil produces stuff like this. Not going to call it beautiful agony…it gets a bit uglier. Minced words too pungent. If they take time to notice, must be doing something right.

scripturam in hoc non mutamus, quia stultus es et differentiam nescies.

(hic)

The beautiful mess you made:
I had a lover's quarrel with the world - Robert Frost

         |
I'm sorry you got caught in the middle. - me

Neurodivergent poet’yearns to love without that fart in the room between us. Honesty without mincing words comes with a price for those juggling the hot take on my version of truth (here’s some oven mitts). Find it best to stay clear of those surrounded by moat rules.

Real dialogue accepted.

Diagnosed with new disabilities in 2020: was obtuse in beginning, frank now…on the spectrum/ADHD (complicated by PTSD, much brain trauma). Been suggested by doctors of late I might want another brain scan (sincev12/4/17…blogged).

As it is: My words collect, arrange on a kaleidoscope spectrum. The true experience/acknowledgment of my writing seems yet to come...long after I’ve left WDC, am dead, or both?

Truly been a blessing, but been pushing it — envelope, world and all inhabitants — away — push buttons, find boundaries to trip traps. No clue why, where I've lived in your dark. (Life boring?) Now and then, push dirt out of this hole; someone/thing/entity might envision me the way I need to be viewed (if I knew what that was). Cryptic, I know. Try living in my dark, find comfort amid strange, virtual walls that tempt me to scale/escape).

Been more than I could imagine or expect here. But, achievements aren’t going on a LinkedIn wall *Think*. I dig deeper than I should, often without forethought. Aimless words, brave or veiled cowardice, flinchingly flung, inadvertently hit targets? Get a ‘back off’ shoulder shot when asking your motivations here. Not fair?

No prize to eye; not incentivized. Dealt the worst two cards before the flop, do best with what’s in hand.



My Pluggers:
You are an icon here.*BigSmile*
You suffer, but you suffer brilliantly. Wow, what a great writer.*Heart*


It’s like plugging myself, but using other people’s (reviewers) words…Review of "Poetic Referendum(s) On Life"
Your poetic muse is on fire! *Fire* Some great emotion, well-balance(d), lovely lyrical qualities -- even the ones that were written out of sadness or anger came through in a clever cadence…It's obvious you've put a lot of work into each entry and the totality of the blog has eye appeal. *Cool*

 
Published four times with one a literary journal, including… *PointRight*   "The Tender Core (Sedona)
I don’t submit because it’s too much work. Truly alone, know no one cares to show they believe/support me. Lip service feeds delusion. I’ve seen a lot of smoldering and snow. Try not be cynical, work hard at openness and consideration — work, sooo…gut thing.

*Toilet* *RibbonW* Merit Badge in Taboo Words
[Click For More Info]

Brian,

Congratulations! You won 1st Place in Taboo Words with your fantastic poem, [Link to Book Entry #1027659]. 

I absolutely loved this! *^*Heart*^*

Rachel Merit Badge in Poetry
[Click For More Info]

    Thanks you for supporting the  [Link To Item #power]  with an order to the  [Link To Item #powergifts] ! We appreciate it. *^*Heartv*^* Keep writing the beautiful poetry. [Link to Book Entry #1027659] is an awesome poem! *^*Starv*^* ~Lornda

 
Love my process constructing and sharing visions in words collected (no small task considering personal and physical limitations, see below).


August 28, 2006 this blog opened

BOOK
SuperNova Afterglow: End Of Days  (18+)
All that remains: here in my afterlife as a 'mainstream' blogger, with what little I know.
#1300042 by He Who Shall Call Himself B…


No specific aim going forward (2014)

 
What I used to say: 'Maybe, I just don't get it. Watch me fumble with my version of reality, expose ignorance as truth. You don't have to get me, either. But, wish someone would explain me to myself.' Now I say: *Cool* *FacePalm* Now: I was such a whore.
 


*Laugh*This is old….
What? Oh, this? A rhetorical, self-motivational speech I'm working on.
Don't just read the parts to construct your theory, as if to confirm (construed out of context) your opinion, mentally-stunted Neanderthal. Therapist wants me to be less negative toward myself. I see it as attacking, rather than being defensive. Fear I will chomp too many bullets unintentionally sent toward the unsuspecting.
If you can be triggered for stupid reasons, then I?
…just looked like me rolling around on the floor with myself.*RollEyes*
             



What Was NEW

Who am I, you ask? My mirror knows that question, repeated daily.

Just trying to create a little buzz, not boost my ego.

#amwriting #poetry #blog #contest #freeverse #award #bestpoetry #freyaridings #lyrics #music #video #YouTube

Can you believe it took this long for someone to put a quarter in me and push the button GET ANGRY?
 

Mud 4 My Eye: Is that you, Poo? 💩 Secret Back Door

The Best Poetry Collection on Writing.Com
December 3, 2021 at 8:57am
December 3, 2021 at 8:57am
#1022727
Where I've bled,
a trail leads to a death bed.
Regenerate my heart,
or prepare as purpose for soil.

Where I'm led,
a thousand dull faces blink
when I enter their chamber.
My only indication --
noticed.

Where I dream go,
a dull memory of repressed guilt
for foolishness inspired by comic heroes.
Too late learned,
they couldn't possibly exist.

It murdered me
to learn I couldn't possibly co-exist
without compassion to inspire confession.
And what would that be? Ignorant, unchangeable.
Blindfold me now.

Back against their wall.



12/3/21
2.4.22 edit

condemn me for my ignorance. As a man, I'm but a child with two parents: one TV.
Brainwashing is too strong of an accusation from one so awkwardly susceptible to think he could fit in.
December 3, 2021 at 8:51am
December 3, 2021 at 8:51am
#1022725
All my God ever asked was try
Not succeed, not bleed for this
All my God asked was give
Not too much, but what he needs

All the world wanted from me
Was my flesh, bones, eyes
Pay my debts like a ransome
To release this beleaguered soul asking

Where is my God during all this?

All my love ever asked was a kiss
But that was only the start of it
My love needed my hand, continuous
Support until death we part

All that has grown in my garden seeds
Bears more fruit that pass from beak to land
All that I've ever sewn there is weeded
But struggles more to riise each spring

When I look to the sky
Does he see me lying on the ground
With a frown begging to reap?
Does my God even know I've died?

With the daisies interlaced surround.


12/3/21


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