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Rated: 18+ · Book · Spiritual · #1149750
10k views, 2x BestPoetryCollection. A nothing from nowhere cast words to a world wide wind
I’m disabled by more than blindness.

Writing: Like one of those adventure games where you go off questing in different directions but you don’t advance in life. Pretty medallions sought for words/my soul, a slow burn now. Life is full of misdirects right back to the start, you still quest with a thirst.

If they take time to notice, must be doing something right. Life of turmoil produces stuff like this. Not going to call it beautiful agony…it gets a bit uglier. Minced words too pungent.

scripturam in hoc non mutamus, quia stultus es et differentiam nescies.

hic honor, quem accepistis, non est operae pretium, sicut non est bonum.
*BigSmile*
si hoc legere potes, gratiarum actio pro tempore.

The beautiful mess you made.
         |
Without knowledge, who’s to judge?
         |
No gavel; no voice.

I had a lover's quarrel with the world - Robert Frost

         |
I'm sorry you got caught in the middle. - me

*Neurodivergent poet.
*I yearn to love without that fart in the room.
*Honesty without mincing words.
*Stay clear of those surrounded by rules.
*Real dialogue accepted.

Diagnosed with new disabilities in 2020: On the spectrum/ADHD (it gets complicated by PTSD and brain trauma). Been suggested by doctors I might want another brain scan. As it is: My words collect, arrange on a kaleidoscope spectrum. The true experience/acknowledgment of my writing yet to come...long after I’ve left WDC, am dead, or both?

Truly been a blessing, but I've been pushing it — envelope, push world and all inhabitants away, push buttons, find boundaries, no clue why, where I've lived in your dark. Now and then, push dirt out of this hole; someone/thing/entity might envision me the way I need to be viewed (if I knew what that was. Cryptic, I know. Try living in my dark, find comfort amid the strange, virtual walls that tempt me to try).
*The parenthetical ‘lawyer up’?



Foot free, I’m all over the place.
 
"Note: Poetry: life’s little interruptions amassing int..."
 

Best Poetry Collection 2X, nominated three years. What does it mean? I was enjoying myself, head bagged. A happy idiot. Something messed with that. I won’t be a coward; not starting feuds or wars over ideals and beliefs. We all know that’s a pile of crap packaged with dreams of pretty things to sell t the next boob that walks by. *Clown*

Been more than I could imagine or expect. My achievements aren’t going on a LinkedIn wall. I dig deeper than I should, push boundaries. Aimless words, brave or veiled cowardice, flinchingly flung, inadvertently hit targets. Get a ‘back off’ shoulder shot when asking your motivations to write.

No prize to eye; not incentivized. Dealt the worst two cards before the flop, do the best with what you got.



My Pluggers:
You are an icon here.*BigSmile*
You suffer, but you suffer brilliantly. Wow, what a great writer.{/blue}*Heart*


It’s like plugging myself, but using other people’s (reviewers) words…Review of "Epigram ‘n Aphorism Samwiches"
Your poetic muse is on fire! *Fire* Some great emotion, well-balance(d), lovely lyrical qualities -- even the ones that were written out of sadness or anger came through in a clever cadence…It's obvious you've put a lot of work into each entry and the totality of the blog has eye appeal. *Cool*

 
Published four times with one a literary journal, including… *PointRight*   "The Tender Core (Sedona)
I don’t submit because it’s too much work. Truly alone, know no one cares to show they believe/support me. Lip service feeds delusion. I’ve seen a lot of smoldering and snow. Try not be cynical, work hard at openness and consideration — work, sooo…gut thing.

*Toilet* *RibbonW* Merit Badge in Taboo Words
[Click For More Info]

Brian,

Congratulations! You won 1st Place in Taboo Words with your fantastic poem, [Link to Book Entry #1027659]. 

I absolutely loved this! *^*Heart*^*

Rachel Merit Badge in Poetry
[Click For More Info]

    Thanks you for supporting the  [Link To Item #power]  with an order to the  [Link To Item #powergifts] ! We appreciate it. *^*Heartv*^* Keep writing the beautiful poetry. [Link to Book Entry #1027659] is an awesome poem! *^*Starv*^* ~Lornda

 
Love my process constructing and sharing visions in words collected (no small task considering personal and physical limitations, see below).


August 28, 2006 this blog opened

BOOK
SuperNova Afterglow: End Of Days  (18+)
All that remains: here in my afterlife as a 'mainstream' blogger, with what little I know.
#1300042 by Lorem Ipsum, Perhaps?


No specific aim going forward (2014)

 
What I used to say: 'Maybe, I just don't get it. Watch me fumble with my version of reality, expose ignorance as truth. You don't have to get me, either. But, wish someone would explain me to myself.' Now I say: *Cool* *FacePalm* Now: I was such a whore.
 


*Laugh*This is old….
What? Oh, this? A rhetorical, self-motivational speech I'm working on.
Don't just read the parts to construct your theory, as if to confirm (construed out of context) your opinion, mentally-stunted Neanderthal. Therapist wants me to be less negative toward myself. I see it as attacking, rather than being defensive. Fear I will chomp too many bullets unintentionally sent toward the unsuspecting.
If you can be triggered for stupid reasons, then I?
…just looked like me rolling around on the floor with myself.*RollEyes*
             



What Was NEW

Who am I, you ask? My mirror knows that question, repeated daily.

Just trying to create a little buzz, not boost my ego.

#amwriting #poetry #blog #contest #freeverse #award #bestpoetry #freyaridings #lyrics #music #video #YouTube

Can you believe it took this long for someone to put a quarter in me and push the button GET ANGRY?
 

Mud 4 My Eye: Is that you, Poo? 💩 Secret Back Door

The Best Poetry Collection on Writing.Com
April 26, 2022 at 9:06pm
April 26, 2022 at 9:06pm
#1031439
i lost three days, or
three years. who knows?
i lost memory, steam escaping
time-warping mech in my addled head.
i lost you thirty years ago to what?
was it my simple ignorance?
i lost memory of then.

this machine is a trap
forcing me relive fictitiously,
fill in the gaps of time with false memory
time warping mech addles me
as i count lost days

i'm lost in a daze
who knows how long spent here?
i managed to lose you

the gaps of time reappear
as often as disappear inside this space
i'm lost in that old gaze

steam escaping like time,
i wander my white rooms with and
without you, fiction, embellishment of your face
that addled me on the day i left
was it my ignorance?

i managed to lose you
just as i lose three days, years or
thirty years of my life, reliving, recreate
second chances parallel exist in time warping mech
these recollections relived, trapping me
ordinary life fills in many gaps
that i manage to lose

just how i lost you
just how i lose
time mech not a friend
in white rooms traveled
metaphysically we meet
like dreams that reawake
ignorance, an addled head

should i continue looking
in the white rooms for you?
should i walk into shadows
and hope time still exists,
since i cannot reverse tides,
just how i lost you
and lost myself?

i think it's time
i think it needs to end
break all the clocks


4.26.22




April 26, 2022 at 11:16am
April 26, 2022 at 11:16am
#1031412
With Cup Seeking Knowledge In Death

From a dull tin pulled from drab pack,
I scoop, almost greedily,
from found, clear pool in creek shadowed green,
straining to arrive
below twig, along furrowing root
to supply a dry mouth.

I know thirst, eager to sate.
But from the right angle, gleam —
earliest, the sun discovers my crime.

I see the bottom. My health longs
invigorate in your clear minerals bonded,
as mysterious as the air I trust inhale.
Denied. Rust cup slides
through the well-worn seams released
in unruly forest, where skin scrapes,
infects flesh, ravaged evilly.

I was sent there. Sent away
from angling light now mocking a dreamer.
This forest is dead but for me.
Two diseased hands steal your ample,
pure flow for knowledge.
I roam unbound forever and unfound —
malnourished, yearn safe harbor
sealed in a black divide,
where moon and stars spin high,
remind
I’ll not be alone in death.


4.23.22
4.26.22 edit

Must not obsessively pull on those strings of images that need no definition.


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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/blog/ripglaedr3/day/4-26-2022