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Rated: 18+ · Book · Spiritual · #1149750
10k views, 2x BestPoetryCollection. A nothing from nowhere cast words to a world wide wind
Like one of those adventure games where you go off questing in different directions but you don’t advance like the others. You earn pretty medallions gallantly while other players buy, sell and trade at market to get ahead without moving an inch. Slow burn…hey? You’d rather keep your dignity, or try to figure out their game. That’s where you really get lost. Game full of misdirects leads right back to start over and over. You could have stayed on your quest. Now, you have this.

Redacted, censored, gaslighted…must be doing something right, my old boss would say. I’m not a sociopath, he tells himself. Equal parts, then? Mom should have had me tested. Because, life of turmoil produces stuff like this. Not going to call it beautiful agony…it gets a bit ugly.Tap on them. It’s part of the quest…see where I’ve been; see who I am:


         
                   
                                       
                   
                   
        
         


Right. I redact myself. The beautiful mess you made. Who are you?
If I’ve been denied the right of knowledge, I’ve earned the right to judge.
         |
Without knowledge, who’s to judge?
         |
No gavel; no voice.

"...politely reedy but ambitiously eclectic—moving effortlessly from hen-picking and bottleneck slides to a full deck of chucka-chucka rhythm figures."

I had a lover's quarrel with the world - Robert Frost

         |
I'm sorry you got caught in the middle.

*Neurodivergent poet.
*Don’t judge/hate. I love.
*Honesty without mincing words.
*Dump your prejudice outside my door. Hope you leave it on the way out.
*Nothing to fear but people who surround themselves with rules, can’t be touched.
*Real dialogue accepted.

My words collect, arrange on a kaleidoscope spectrum. The true experience/acknowledgment of my writing yet to come...long after I’ve left WDC, am dead, or both.

Truly been a blessing, but I've been pushing it — envelope, push world and all inhabitants away, push buttons to find boundaries, having no clue or told where they lie, where I've lived in your dark. Now and then, push dirt out of this hole; someone/thing/entity might envision me the way I need to be viewed. (if I knew what that was. Cryptic, I know. Try living in my dark, find comfort amid the strange, virtual walls that tempt me to try).
*The parenthetical lawyer up?



Foot free, I’m all over the place.
 
"Note: Poetry: life’s little interruptions amassing int..."
 

Best Poetry Collection 2X, nominated three years. What does it mean? I was enjoying myself, head bagged. A happy idiot. Something messed with that. I won’t be a coward; not starting feuds or wars over ideals and beliefs. We all know that’s a pile of crap packaged with dreams of pretty things to sell the next boob that walks by. *Clown*

Been more than I could imagine or expect. My achievements aren’t going on a LinkedIn wall. But, I get it. You're sick of me. It's how I feel about myself when I dig deeper, push boundaries. Don’t care my words that aim for honesty, either brave or veiled cowardice, flinchingly flung, inadvertently hit a target. Get a back off shoulder shot for asking your motivations to write…won’t get me to bend over backwards to appease, again.

There’s no prize to eye, not properly incentivized. So, does it mean when dealt the worst two cards before the flop, do the best with what you got? Yeah, rigged. Yeah, other tables — other ‘games’. But, something in my gut I’ll never be rid.



My Pluggers:
You are an icon here.*BigSmile*
You suffer, but you suffer brilliantly. Wow, what a great writer.{/blue}*Heart*


It’s like plugging myself, but using other people’s (reviewers) words…Review of "Life’s Little Misdirections 🥀🦋"
Your poetic muse is on fire! *Fire* Some great emotion, well-balance(d), lovely lyrical qualities -- even the ones that were written out of sadness or anger came through in a clever cadence…It's obvious you've put a lot of work into each entry and the totality of the blog has eye appeal. *Cool*

 
Published four times with one a literary journal, including… *PointRight*   "The Tender Core (Sedona)
I don’t submit because it’s too much work. Truly alone, know no one cares to show they believe/support me. Lip service feeds delusion. I’ve seen a lot of smoldering and snow. Try not be cynical, work hard at openness and consideration — work, sooo…gut thing.

*Toilet* *RibbonW* Merit Badge in Taboo Words
[Click For More Info]

Brian,

Congratulations! You won 1st Place in Taboo Words with your fantastic poem, [Link to Book Entry #1027659]. 

I absolutely loved this! *^*Heart*^*

Rachel Merit Badge in Poetry
[Click For More Info]

    Thanks you for supporting the  [Link To Item #power]  with an order to the  [Link To Item #powergifts] ! We appreciate it. *^*Heartv*^* Keep writing the beautiful poetry. [Link to Book Entry #1027659] is an awesome poem! *^*Starv*^* ~Lornda

 
Love my process constructing and sharing visions in words collected (no small task considering personal and physical limitations, see below).


August 28, 2006 this blog opened

BOOK
SuperNova Afterglow: End Of Days  (18+)
All that remains: here in my afterlife as a 'mainstream' blogger, with what little I know.
#1300042 by He’s Brian K Compton


No specific aim going forward (2014)

 
What I used to say: 'Maybe, I just don't get it. Watch me fumble with my version of reality, expose ignorance as truth. You don't have to get me, either. But, wish someone would explain me to myself.' Now I say: *Cool* *FacePalm* Now: I was such a whore.
 


*Laugh*This is old….
What? Oh, this? A rhetorical, self-motivational speech I'm working on.
Don't just read the parts to construct your theory, as if to confirm (construed out of context) your opinion, mentally-stunted Neanderthal. Therapist wants me to be less negative toward myself. I see it as attacking, rather than being defensive. Fear I will chomp too many bullets unintentionally sent toward the unsuspecting.
If you can be triggered for stupid reasons, then I?
…just looked like me rolling around on the floor with myself.*RollEyes*
             



What Was NEW

Who am I, you ask? My mirror knows that question, repeated daily.

Just trying to create a little buzz, not boost my ego.

#amwriting #poetry #blog #contest #freeverse #award #bestpoetry #freyaridings #lyrics #music #video #YouTube

Can you believe it took this long for someone to put a quarter in me and push the button GET ANGRY?
 

Mud 4 My Eye: Is that you, Poo? 💩 Secret Back Door

The Best Poetry Collection on Writing.Com
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July 31, 2021 at 3:04pm
July 31, 2021 at 3:04pm
#1014806
the color blue:
markings on a pale wall
by the unhinged door.

gentle notations
rise to meet another
in graphite
on satin-finished trim.
         darling with age,
         no cleaning agent dare scrub
unless we give this house up.

         the first day,
you stood obedient for
an angling stick atop your head.
         she reached beneath,
         scraped in permanent blue, while
your backpack laid idle
by the closed door.

your brother, three years before,
ascended by graphite.
dark markings intermingle
amid your rising blue.

such hope sends a gaze
         reflecting on
those first days,
your noggin and wide open grin,
         now foggy mornings of yore.

every marking inked,
as high as it will go,
on the finish with
a final date installed,
I now realize

the potential of you
         is a memory,
         not the future
anymore.



7.31.21
34 lines

To my darlings, Myles, Camden and Madeline, wherever they may yet roam.

For:
"Monthly Poetry Contest
July 30, 2021 at 7:15pm
July 30, 2021 at 7:15pm
#1014766
Riddles Like Bath Bubbles

A life spent placing myself
on a path to serendipity,
hoping to capture uniquity,
reinvent a cliché language
like re-equating a theory of relativity,
reconstructing riddles of math,
long since solved,
without its rudimentary roots,
recreate for minds exploring a future
and not the past, when I
simply need live in the present
for clarity, sanity, watch
the other scavengers collect clues,
as I solve this game
in my head, in the shine and gleam,
never having to tell what I’ve found
and what I haven’t,
a sort of serenity --
bath bubbles you cannot clutch.
I'll never thrive on your divinity.


7.30.21

One sentence, run on, to make a point
July 25, 2021 at 9:41pm
July 25, 2021 at 9:41pm
#1014327
Awakenings

I cut my heart out and hand it toward them.
Stupid boy.
Put it back in.
We only need your blood.
The eels slither, smile,
caress my flesh, soundless,
suck, suck. Leaches.
I’m supposed to enjoy this.
We like your taste.
We’d like more.
I’m learning this is my giving,
wither and pale,
grow scales defenseless
against the swarm.


7.25.21
Decompressing thoughts to phone on road trip today.
July 22, 2021 at 11:22am
July 22, 2021 at 11:22am
#1014130
Cool
White
Dawn

We were looking at charred remains,
embers not as bright since a chill dawn --
still
white
smoldering --
nothing compared to the colors sparking a black night.

A fuel-soaked concoction, once enflamed,
glowed romance, softened eyes,
brushed hues on two pale faces.
Rose-boned skin inspired
by wood
used
up.

We lingered too long.
Now this thing
is ash.


I ran a grammar checker over this today and it wanted to change 'enflamed' to inflamed. However, the only distinction between the two is that 'inflamed' is more commonly used in the US, while each is defined the same. So, no errors.

I still struggle to see how this poem lacks in competitive value.
July 22, 2021 at 8:39am
July 22, 2021 at 8:39am
#1014121
Saw/buck

In my mind,
the places to find
money unclaimed and free,
that I found just for me --
came from the street
outside a place to eat,
under cushions of the couch,
hidden deep in the pouch,
or,
in a wallet owned by dad.
Would he miss one if I had?

In my youth,
when I lost a tooth,
a fairy stashed it there,
under my pillow with care --
a sawbuck just for me
inspired toothless glee,
smelling better than laundry.
Yes,
crisp and fresh,
sometimes I wish

I saved it in a bank
like a Swiss franc,
earning interest annually --
but, not so in reality.

A sawbuck for me,
was enjoyed merrily.
But, they're all gone
like the end of a song --
each fed to the alligator,
the depository incinerator.

Memories of that cash,
now dreams up in ash.

Fun Facts

Sawbuck

The Writer's Camp Static Version I Deleted

Fun Facts


July 21, 2021 at 3:01pm
July 21, 2021 at 3:01pm
#1014074
Writing to myself so loud,
         as if you’ll hear.
         ears burn down,
         disintegrating words so hot...
you melt,
excite,
invite me out of these woods
amid owls who don’t think
like me, don’t believe
I’ll make it through
         this one long night.
         bones chill in rags,
         ill fit for a vagrant in evergreen,
         who wants to be seen
by a clean white moon, muted
by clouds, but soon piercing
a scene, hoping
you’ll defile this nature,
should you liquify,
as I spin words measured
by reason, crystallizing hard
in wide blue eyes --
this stature thawing in your view,
a silhouette
until Luna hits me right
where I take my stand.

Melt with me where we
could be one.


7.21.21
28 lines, free verse

July 21, 2021 at 7:25am
July 21, 2021 at 7:25am
#1014040
Another Highball Down

Savor
Where is the love? In a highball glass? Or,
straight from the bottle?
Is the love in
mixing the drink? Is the love in
offering this concoction to another?
Watching them enjoy
your liquid creation? Life is
however you mix it. Love is
however you choose enjoy it — either
in the preparation or
in the consumption.

The bottle is never empty, my friends.

6.04.19

Addendum...

But,
I'm currently out. *Laugh*
Because...
it's a
magical
refillable vessel that
needs
needs a
little time to, ah
find the right
combination of
sunlight and shade
away from the
deciduousness of it all?
My mouth...er,
keyboard, that is.


7.21.21 (TD+1x3(2)) not equatic? not equasible? *Rolleyes*
we can't define everything with our diseased minds (I really hate this process)
Please, Brian, don't google all the values for a period in this construct. Let it be today. *Facepalm*

Resource:
"Glaring
I plagiarize...myself.
July 21, 2021 at 6:07am
July 21, 2021 at 6:07am
#1014038


While we're being handled,
spun on our chairs
with fancy words whirling 'round,
better strap yourself in.
It's a nauseous ride, if
you're going to get to the other side.

7.21.21

a date that is twice divisible by itself. what I call an 'inanity', or one of my inanities.
July 18, 2021 at 1:57pm
July 18, 2021 at 1:57pm
#1013879
Flushed

Words circle a drain to drown.
In your bath, I sink,
Stainless.
Perfection washed clean
From hands that toil
For you,
You consume in this bath.

Unworthy,
I watch the tap open
A deluge upon
My head.
Unable to consume what you call
Your love,
I spill down the channel
To a dark dimension,
Space afforded
Fools like me seeking
True divinity
Only to discover
A sewer runs through
My sentences forming words
Of grief.

I am flushed
In your stainless drain, again.


7.13.21
It is what it is 7.18.21

Poets Needed:
"Invalid Item
July 18, 2021 at 1:56pm
July 18, 2021 at 1:56pm
#1013878
Consumed, Hopeless

Each retelling better than the next?
You know the feeling but not the words,
as you’re consumed to relate to
a tender mind like yours
who says, I know.

The one you’re with, not on the same page,
shames you like the ignorant,
tells you how to think and not question why
you are trapped in this lovelessness.

Looking for the one, holding on to hope,
straining out the windows of life,
you see scenery so still speed pass,
wondering, is she there under the apple,
beside the dappled mare, riding
the smoker tractor beside an idle farm,
seemingly calling you to breakfast,
but it’s late.

The moon rises. The sun has no time
for this meandering, wandering
that doesn’t visualize purpose,
while your soul, consumed,
settles for zombies
taking the last of your pale flesh.
Don't lay down! Run!

Daydreamers consumed, hopeless.


7.13
7.18.21 not worth improving this


Poets Needed:
"Invalid Item
July 18, 2021 at 1:55pm
July 18, 2021 at 1:55pm
#1013877
Yet

Leave her alone, boy. Let her rest.
She's had a long day of cleaning up your mess.
This life she couldn't put straight.
Your brain probably can't contemplate what
she's gone through since she
first laid eyes upon you, a bastard produced
from a loveless marriage. The fights,
her wails echo still inside your walls.
You're too ignorant to notice.

My anguish not yours to inhale.
Leave it alone. Go back to bed.
She's badly bruised, but not bleeding,
Yet.


7.13
7.18.21

Written during Long Hall, purely conceptual about the different parts of a schizophrenic brain negotiating with itself not to panic after self-abuse. And, I'm fine, too, if you're wondering (narrator speaking).
July 18, 2021 at 1:52pm
July 18, 2021 at 1:52pm
#1013876
Speaking To The Lonely Strippers

Why unburden your soul
To the damaged stripper
Holding the pole in thong,
Bedazzled by sweaty glitter,
Nipples bared, blush-red,
When you don't see her broken heart,
Masked in its agony of sweet grinding
In the room,
On the chair,
Over your pressed pants
To rhythms thick with bass,
Produced by empty minds
Earning their own bottom dollars, while
Masturbating regurgitated words
To a lonely, uglier audience deprived
Of sex, of love, just
Like you, lifelong?
You could at least tip more
than the recommended gratuity.


7.13.21
7.18.21 final edits
19 lines, freeverse

I used to lust. Now, I want to hug them all. Speaking to myself as the party of the first part. Just think inner dialogue.
July 18, 2021 at 1:51pm
July 18, 2021 at 1:51pm
#1013875
The Bath Again

Another day with back pain,
no medication
But sweet Rum that/which
Can temporarily touch/reach
Up to my neck in this
Boiling bath --
An organic mix bubbling with stale
Flesh and a mind's persistence, nurture
These aimless words, a blend
Of grief and bliss, while
An ever vigilant brain, vexed
Tries remedy but can only reminisce
When we were whole.

This was my universe.
My planets aligned around
A holy, loving, warming,
Fiery body gleaming
In the morning, fading, tagging off
With a white moon rising,
Checking in on me,
I could feel luminescence
On my face, soul --
Permeated, adjusted as
We all rotated together

I'm in my bath again.
It's welcoming,
Not reassuring enough,
Just yet.


7.13.21
7.18.21 edit more or abandon?
Autobiographical
July 18, 2021 at 1:44pm
July 18, 2021 at 1:44pm
#1013874
Until Then, For Your Love

You held all the love, all
The offerings of
A lonely boy,
Eyes fixed on
Your every movement until
You could feel the weight
Of my gifts
In your accepting arms
Weakening like your smile that
I see falter
Like the light in your eyes that
I see dim
A gaze tightens, forms lines
Around your mouth, below
I see form upon
Your exposed hairline

I speak
But your mute button pressed
view you scan the channels
In the sky
For another
For forgiveness
For tempting a young boy, needy
For your acceptance,
For your commitment
For your unconditional love

I can wear out a welcome quick
I can wear on a soul
I can wear you down
I can wear this heart on my sleeve
Until then.

7.13
7.18.21

More edits coming. Stalker-y.
July 18, 2021 at 1:23pm
July 18, 2021 at 1:23pm
#1013866
We listen to him personify whiskers on his face,
narrating how they escaped the razor.

Wily, spry, gray rebels sprung free, sproing!
from the shadowed, pale patches
in unchartered regions 'neath
his chin and cheek that mock
a groggy, wrinkled face, before
black brows muscle up on his forehead,

when he's stopped, reminded
again, that it’s Sunday and
he is not yet dressed for church,
if he's going. And so,

his shadow darkens the hall
back to the bedroom
to start the morning over
again. He
rolls open the top dresser drawer.
Two black socks peer back at him.
Are we going to play?


7.18.21
19 lines, freeverse

Something I made up today from the poem open about my personifying and narrating that can both amuse and annoy, though mostly the latter, if you ask them.
July 16, 2021 at 10:15pm
July 16, 2021 at 10:15pm
#1013778
Compromise,
you say, finger waggling,
begging me to walk your way.
If I hesitate to follow a temptress,
what about my worthiness?
Give up,
you tell me, lying on dewed grass,
tempting me to roll your way.
I could lay a blanket for this vixen,
but what about my worth?
If I give up,
If I compromise,
If I forsake my art for someone who
really doesn't want me, wants to know
they control my soul's offerings, be my guide,
will I get lost?
I only see steep cliffs
where I'll be a lamb lead
like all the rest.
It would be sweet death
to be done with you, but
I have worth.
I have pride.
I'm stubborn enough to walk you over,
kiss you full on tender mouth
with a spray from waves,
lashing and licking an eroding shore, then
push you to your death,
because you deserve it
for weakening my resolve.
But I won't, and I stay,
and this game continues this way until
someone's dying day.
May I see you in hell, dear.


7.16.21
random write after listenign to boygenius in previous post.
July 14, 2021 at 11:43am
July 14, 2021 at 11:43am
#1013636
July 11, 2021 at 8:32pm
July 11, 2021 at 8:32pm
#1013480

Breathless Start --

Throbbing heart,
ruby-throated romance
hovers above the hummingbird feeder.

From a bay window viewed,

amid evaporating dew,
a field of daisies tremble
when summer breeze stirs.

Will you depart?

How we're apart;
my heart near yours,
separated by clear pane.

Hum, flutter --

I hear myself mutter,
don flip flops,
gather a picnic lunch.


Chase a dream?

I'm trapped in a scene
inside a foggy head
by this vision of you.

Hum, thrust --

How you must
notice me, too, arriving,
vibrant, green angel?

I'm not whole.

Muse, heal a poet's soul,
given flight as morning yields
to a white sun burning.

A sky so blue,

I must join you
in the pleasant shade
of evergreen to write.

Hum, flutter --

Wings melt like butter,
fade to the backdrop --
a steadfast soul inspired by summer.




36 lines
you name it, rhyming verse

Writer's Cramp prompt 6.24.21

with thoughts of poetic inspiration from a rare sighting.

 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#2133185 by Not Available.

Also, Another failed poem from Stormy Poetry Newsletter contest of yore.
July 11, 2021 at 8:25pm
July 11, 2021 at 8:25pm
#1013479
The whole world filled with suckers
looking for something to follow.
Here I am at your doorstep,
a basket-baby reject by those
who would not raise a demon.

Will you rear me, let me stray
onto your carpet of philosophy?
Pleading, tell me how and
what's right. Why do I bear
such shame in helpless plight?

You take me in, your odd duckling
who blindly follows you deep into night,
sure to belong, never wrong
to carry on your purposed fight.

A world full of suckers live by rules,
sometimes recanted philosophy.
You say they fit as a round peg
in a square hole
, just like me, who
dares nibble fare at your set table.

Questions aim, looking into gray eyes,
sequestered long in a dimming room,
divided by maddening walls of doom,
and what you believe best for me,
from what I know is right.

I'm a sucker, your bastard child, alone
divided. A square peg in this round hole.
You never knew I could be so bold,
as I'm to learn now beg forgiveness
for this acquired, unfit obsession.



6.27.21
29 lines,
your may hear rhyme, but mostly assonance in this free verse piece.
You didn't think I'd conform, did you?

Writer's Cramp prompt in bold, though as to the actual idiom, as a quote:

Kenelm Chillingly asks, "Does it not prove that no man, however wise, is a good judge of his own case? Now, your son's case is really your case —- you see it through the medium of your likings and dislikings, and insist upon forcing a square peg into a round hole, because in a round hole you, being a round peg, feel tight and comfortable. Now I call that irrational."

The farmer responded, "I don't see why my son has any right to fancy himself a square peg ... when his father, and his grandfather, and his great-grandfather, have been round pegs; and it is agin' nature for any creature not to take after its own kind."

— Edward Bulwer-Lytton, Kenelm Chillingly, His Adventures and Opinions[

from: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Square_peg_in_a_round_hole


On any day you can learn something, unlearn it, learn correctly and move on. But, who's going to correct us? - Brian K. Compton
July 11, 2021 at 8:20pm
July 11, 2021 at 8:20pm
#1013478
little bird who took shelter in your welcoming tree,
the innocent one drawn
into the open wood
in a chill at dawn, spied by me.

speckled plumage, fresh feathers multiply,
she squawks an awkward tune,
found your seed meant for prettier prey,
colors illumed in your yellow space,
warmed by currents in a soft bed.

ugly, it crows from shadows
of judging branches unyielding,
hops limb to limb to seek your love
afforded to inhabitants preening in view.
not meant for you, little bird.

Hope ruffled by cold.
Hope shrill in winter.
Hope soils the ground,
as little bird spent too long
refining an awkward song.

Hope can't fly
as a thing of joy should,
with a heart planted by your seed scattered,
follows the wrong dream,
confined now in a dry, dark wood.



24 lines
free verse


Wriiter's Cramp entry 6.15.21 unedited with this blog entry
prompt: use the title 'a chill in the air'. Hmm.

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