*Magnify*
    August    
2021
SMTWTFS
2
3
6
7
8
9
10
11
13
14
16
18
19
21
23
25
26
27
30
31
Archive RSS
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/blog/ripglaedr3/month/8-1-2021
Printer Friendly Page Tell A Friend
(116)
Rated: 18+ · Book · Spiritual · #1149750
10k views, 2x BestPoetryCollection. A nothing from nowhere cast words to a world wide wind
I’m disabled by more than blindness.

Writing: Like one of those adventure games where you go off questing in different directions but you don’t advance in life. Pretty medallions sought for words/my soul, a slow burn now. Life is full of misdirects right back to the start, you still quest with a thirst.

If they take time to notice, must be doing something right. Life of turmoil produces stuff like this. Not going to call it beautiful agony…it gets a bit uglier. Minced words too pungent.

scripturam in hoc non mutamus, quia stultus es et differentiam nescies.

hic honor, quem accepistis, non est operae pretium, sicut non est bonum.
*BigSmile*
si hoc legere potes, gratiarum actio pro tempore.

The beautiful mess you made.
         |
Without knowledge, who’s to judge?
         |
No gavel; no voice.

I had a lover's quarrel with the world - Robert Frost

         |
I'm sorry you got caught in the middle. - me

*Neurodivergent poet.
*I yearn to love without that fart in the room.
*Honesty without mincing words.
*Stay clear of those surrounded by rules.
*Real dialogue accepted.

Diagnosed with new disabilities in 2020: On the spectrum/ADHD (it gets complicated by PTSD and brain trauma). Been suggested by doctors I might want another brain scan. As it is: My words collect, arrange on a kaleidoscope spectrum. The true experience/acknowledgment of my writing yet to come...long after I’ve left WDC, am dead, or both?

Truly been a blessing, but I've been pushing it — envelope, push world and all inhabitants away, push buttons, find boundaries, no clue why, where I've lived in your dark. Now and then, push dirt out of this hole; someone/thing/entity might envision me the way I need to be viewed (if I knew what that was. Cryptic, I know. Try living in my dark, find comfort amid the strange, virtual walls that tempt me to try).
*The parenthetical ‘lawyer up’?



Foot free, I’m all over the place.
 
"Note: Poetry: life’s little interruptions amassing int..."
 

Best Poetry Collection 2X, nominated three years. What does it mean? I was enjoying myself, head bagged. A happy idiot. Something messed with that. I won’t be a coward; not starting feuds or wars over ideals and beliefs. We all know that’s a pile of crap packaged with dreams of pretty things to sell t the next boob that walks by. *Clown*

Been more than I could imagine or expect. My achievements aren’t going on a LinkedIn wall. I dig deeper than I should, push boundaries. Aimless words, brave or veiled cowardice, flinchingly flung, inadvertently hit targets. Get a ‘back off’ shoulder shot when asking your motivations to write.

No prize to eye; not incentivized. Dealt the worst two cards before the flop, do the best with what you got.



My Pluggers:
You are an icon here.*BigSmile*
You suffer, but you suffer brilliantly. Wow, what a great writer.{/blue}*Heart*


It’s like plugging myself, but using other people’s (reviewers) words…Review of "Epigram ‘n Aphorism Samwiches"
Your poetic muse is on fire! *Fire* Some great emotion, well-balance(d), lovely lyrical qualities -- even the ones that were written out of sadness or anger came through in a clever cadence…It's obvious you've put a lot of work into each entry and the totality of the blog has eye appeal. *Cool*

 
Published four times with one a literary journal, including… *PointRight*   "The Tender Core (Sedona)
I don’t submit because it’s too much work. Truly alone, know no one cares to show they believe/support me. Lip service feeds delusion. I’ve seen a lot of smoldering and snow. Try not be cynical, work hard at openness and consideration — work, sooo…gut thing.

*Toilet* *RibbonW* Merit Badge in Taboo Words
[Click For More Info]

Brian,

Congratulations! You won 1st Place in Taboo Words with your fantastic poem, [Link to Book Entry #1027659]. 

I absolutely loved this! *^*Heart*^*

Rachel Merit Badge in Poetry
[Click For More Info]

    Thanks you for supporting the  [Link To Item #power]  with an order to the  [Link To Item #powergifts] ! We appreciate it. *^*Heartv*^* Keep writing the beautiful poetry. [Link to Book Entry #1027659] is an awesome poem! *^*Starv*^* ~Lornda

 
Love my process constructing and sharing visions in words collected (no small task considering personal and physical limitations, see below).


August 28, 2006 this blog opened

BOOK
SuperNova Afterglow: End Of Days  (18+)
All that remains: here in my afterlife as a 'mainstream' blogger, with what little I know.
#1300042 by Lorem Ipsum, Perhaps?


No specific aim going forward (2014)

 
What I used to say: 'Maybe, I just don't get it. Watch me fumble with my version of reality, expose ignorance as truth. You don't have to get me, either. But, wish someone would explain me to myself.' Now I say: *Cool* *FacePalm* Now: I was such a whore.
 


*Laugh*This is old….
What? Oh, this? A rhetorical, self-motivational speech I'm working on.
Don't just read the parts to construct your theory, as if to confirm (construed out of context) your opinion, mentally-stunted Neanderthal. Therapist wants me to be less negative toward myself. I see it as attacking, rather than being defensive. Fear I will chomp too many bullets unintentionally sent toward the unsuspecting.
If you can be triggered for stupid reasons, then I?
…just looked like me rolling around on the floor with myself.*RollEyes*
             



What Was NEW

Who am I, you ask? My mirror knows that question, repeated daily.

Just trying to create a little buzz, not boost my ego.

#amwriting #poetry #blog #contest #freeverse #award #bestpoetry #freyaridings #lyrics #music #video #YouTube

Can you believe it took this long for someone to put a quarter in me and push the button GET ANGRY?
 

Mud 4 My Eye: Is that you, Poo? 💩 Secret Back Door

The Best Poetry Collection on Writing.Com
Previous ... -1- 2 ... Next
August 29, 2021 at 7:00pm
August 29, 2021 at 7:00pm
#1016337
I learned about back-handed compliments from my sister-in-law when I was 18 and have never taken offense to them. While she thought she was being clever, it was low-brow in my objective estimation. In fact, I'm complimented that someone would take the time the needle me or shove something in my back. I can't die from something I pay no attention to, except be bemused by their pettiness.

It's unfortunate that some people are wired that way. When they do it with a purpose, I wonder their end game. I am vigilant. I can riff off of it. I have other things that take up this space between my ears.

By the way, it wasn't with a candlestick in the study or anything. What?
August 29, 2021 at 2:22pm
August 29, 2021 at 2:22pm
#1016313
To say:
I didn't know I was starving until I tasted you
says to me
you've cultivated an addiction to something

Sure, I like sweet candy
Give me chocolate
make it ice cream with an accoutrement
of devilish incorporating flavors
manufactured by factories
that produce jobs, profits
and diabetes
if you don't watch out

If we can't get enough of something,
shouldn't we walk away,
try something else
try moderation,
lest we cash-fuel these desires
rationalize because
people need work

to pay for their own vices

Have you tried liquor?
It's quicker.


8.29.21

Get fat and die, you ignorant bastard!
No, that was a wake up call.
Set it to something more pleasant,
smooth and tasty,
while sugar makes you it's bitch.

Blech! Diet cola?
We need a fix.

I'll probably die of gum disease like Jim Henson, ironically.
August 29, 2021 at 1:53pm
August 29, 2021 at 1:53pm
#1016311
Battle my own hurricanes and floods daily.
But none claim to see them
because life is a sunny day
on their side
from that sunny perspective.

Lilies leap from lions' mouths.
Weeds wither within the octopus' grasp
in calm green and good brown wood,
damped by light rain.
Lingering leaves take a tumble,
dry and crumble like me, matted
to the side of this edifice.

Wonder how long before someone notices
I'm stuck to the stucco for years.
Might not be catastrophes to you.
But if you bend low,
look into deep recesses,
a weathered one is clinging desperately.
And with two fingers, could spare me
in this dehydrating, lingering season.



8.29.21

Think about others? Hmm. While I'm stuck here? Might result in freeing tears. Though, I wonder why I would weep alone when none weep for me? Not bitter. Confused how we need to visualize one another's storms to prove we are worthy of acceptance like love before dying.

I can re-attune when I have time to stomach all I consume that abounds. Spare me pity like the tar re-applying me to this house I'm affixed.

That dude has a bad attitude, because...?

I think I'd make a good agnostic, if I didn't believe, ironically, in that approach.

I would never take away from others what they feel as sorrow or happiness. I would, however, like to educate the ignorant to openly listen, if their emotions would allow objectivity.

The pretty colors of the paint applied might be bright, but the image is a dour depiction of a condition we all live with but some choose to ignore in favor of pastels.

Maybe, my opinion is not fully (in)formed. Still working on that. I might run out of time. There's always the prescription pads and ink to fill pens with signatories and pharmacies to complete our transactions, to enlighten or desensitize as needed these conditions that inform our emotions.

Why do I bother to write? I'm tunneling through darkness for hints of light. My eyes tell me misdirect and I dive deep again, time after time.
August 28, 2021 at 4:47pm
August 28, 2021 at 4:47pm
#1016289
He crushed my heart with a rock
on our hot sidewalk
when I was too young to withhold
every ounce of my love seeping
into those cracks to live with
the ants, grubs and earthworms
who returned season after season
to show me renewal was possible.

But that heavy purge was real
as I linger in the sunny places
drained, ready to turn heel when
stones or sticks could be flung.
I wish I had the courage to overcome
hatred from the misunderstood young.
Pelt me, if you must. I'll try
not let this purulent blood run.



8.28.21

Thinking about the first cut is the deepest, while writing to song.
August 28, 2021 at 9:46am
August 28, 2021 at 9:46am
#1016269
Another Season

I'm going to witness
In my windowed sideline
The aging season,
Feel the breath leave this air,
Regret another summer
Poorly devised, not executed,
The dread of packing it in.

To do, to do, to do,
Undone. Like a Poe mortician,
Seal off duties unfinished,
Consume a cask of something,
Brick myself in this dank place,
Close those walls up.

Beauty missed, lest
I run amok spying all
That I can take in --
Some quest to drink youth dying,
Fill my eyes, fill my head
In a bucket with scrawled list.
Do this, do that, do all
Before the dawn arrives,
Or bury me with a pile.

Though, I won't be whisked off,
Merrily tumbling on invisible tides,
But guttered to the corner,
By the intersection
Where I'm stuck hoping
Some poignant serendipity
Spares me from regret of yet
Another season wasted.

Now come over here and cover me white
so I can sleep another endless night.



8.28.21

Nothing could prepare me but a mirror to the past and what good is that?
August 28, 2021 at 9:34am
August 28, 2021 at 9:34am
#1016266
Time Running Out (Self-Applied Ageism)

There's this feeling I should
face the mirror,
accept my lot -- wasted. (Whenever
I have passionate feelings
like young love) I desire
to reveal
hidden in this failing structure,
flowing words...but
that river runs out with a flick.
Dim light glows above the vanity,
won't lie (anymore)
to caverned eyes scanning
and perceiving the unwanted,
disheveled, unrepairable,
long face.

Running it back:

Time Running Out Like Ageism

There's this feeling I should face the mirror,
accept my lot in life -- that I wasted it.
(Whenever I have passionate feelings akin
to a young lover
that I want to reveal in structured, yet flowing words...but
that river runs out with a flick,
dim light glows (douses daydreams)
above the vanity, won't lie
to caverned eyes scanning and perceiving
the disheveled, unrepairable, long face.)


Revisit:

Dated. Living with flames from my past,
in this stove burning hotter,
more intense, destroying the flippant molecules
collecting in thinning air
surrounding a house soon to become cinder,
when it should ignite with the kerosene it lacks.
I can't be a lantern.
Words echo memories of reflections
of the little fireflies and moths that lingered
before the grave, shallow image appeared
in a dull mirror to haunt me daily
after I wake. Guess,
I'm getting up to clutch sharpened graphite.


8.28.21

Perfect specimen inside a walking corpse with love to unveil.
August 24, 2021 at 7:04pm
August 24, 2021 at 7:04pm
#1016070
Weirdly inspiring...



My wife wonders where I find all my music *Laugh*

Prefer rare and obscur...and yet:



August 24, 2021 at 8:30am
August 24, 2021 at 8:30am
#1016048
sunny wisdom seeps
between hairy branches
         coming into focus through
         this smeary glass
dull day oozing
through crusty images
         obstructed view
thick heat rises up
from glistening green
         having received
         nature's early donations
a disheartening vision
scanning across
a dry intersection
         focus on their cottages
         divided, quiet as yet
when will we all wake up
to greet
another unremarkable day
on this street
with similar views out windows
         and wonder how to waste
         yet another day
in lonely captivity?



8.24.21

i must care about writing again, because I'm adding punctuation (one way to gauge my mood)...but not add a line count because I don't care to prepare these words for judges now, or anymore (but Brian, how will your community recognition total ever climb? *Rolleyes*)

got to stop writing to music videos and get ready for another day of toil (reality)...not what the judges want to hear...next...
August 24, 2021 at 8:11am
August 24, 2021 at 8:11am
#1016047
I'm just going to go with this thought:

I'm like that monster that
doesn't know it's a monster until
it gets a hint from
the view in other's eyes.

If they're not running from his countenance,
they're hurling rocks,
prepared to fight with a fire
he doesn't bring.

This man without a true mirror,
who just feels, then acts, with his heart,
stands alone in your
cobblestone streets longing.

Are there scars upon my face
that I cannot see, or
do I ignore what is as plain as
the cliché appendage?

Your fires reflect in these dull pupils.
Your heat singes tender skin,
blistered and ravaged by wounds of words
I neglectfully cast, come back.

Wounded in your town square,
surrounded by visions of you not there,
I sit upon the fountain's edge
yearning the knowledge to understand

why am I a monster, again?


8.24.21

What's more crude than a monster, those who would apply labels?

That was too easy. Wrote in less than half the blogged song's time (longer to edit). Godless, again. Thanks Dandy's...
August 22, 2021 at 9:38am
August 22, 2021 at 9:38am
#1015977
The red Yeti fumbled,
tumbled, sprung
from the headboard, releasing
a gusher
from its top.
Pepsi and spiced rum spewed a geyser
in free fall
into a steam punk hat laying atop
the stove top
Abe Lincoln lid
on the carpet beside
his nightstand.

He longed for a refill more
than a rag
and detergent
to scrub the scene
of wasted inspirant,
concocted earlier
above the kitchen sink
in dim, happy fluorescence.



8.21/22.22

Completely random and separate:

&?@!#%&! Programmers And Random-nality Explained (Computers Cheat At Cards!) --

The computer’s skill level was determined by giving itself better hands than its human opponent.



I apparently made up inspirant and wanted to include aspirant, though it will take a revisit to consider this.
August 22, 2021 at 9:29am
August 22, 2021 at 9:29am
#1015976
Can I build a metaphor for box springs?
You lay it on the frame to receive
the burden of comfort,
mattress your master lays upon,
pillow talks with.

The grunt beneath speaks with
dust bunnies, asks the child’s monsters
be reasonable, covets
the forgotten, lost troves
daily unwitnessed, tucked away
until the dread loneliness of cleaning day
and a mattress flip.

The dark and lonely domain is an underworld
of under-appreciated castoffs from Eden
by a cruel god who
will hear no complaining
of the strength it takes to hold all
and receive no love
stuck, devoted as each mattress sags,
replaced for one more ample
to get through the long nights.



8.22.21

maybe not

while personified, drawing parallels to personal experience, akin to the doormat
August 20, 2021 at 11:32pm
August 20, 2021 at 11:32pm
#1015924
Write To This

When I can't self-subscribe I dive
into a world not my own
to imagine myself in this space
Walk away from that race

When I can't get a handle
into a life that doesn't jibe
I visualize an aura glowing
where my words get flowing

Why won't they realize my eyes
hold dreams they'll want to see
to imagine a space together
walk away from this forever

What will it take to get comfortable
in this happy, shiny bubble?
Your grooves where I try fit
where I want to get lit?

Your song fades away...
this pale look on my face...



8.20.21
just something I wrote on the fly...

Track two?

August 17, 2021 at 10:09pm
August 17, 2021 at 10:09pm
#1015788
All the beautiful words collected
in your basket,
off you journey,
handing fistfuls of glory to
an elderly man in the park,
partaking in final Autumn, to
a child mastering chalk lines
on cracked pavement, to
a young couple nuzzling
beneath a spying oak, to

Earth, scattered
on a dutiful, green lawn
we all walk upon, wondering
the meaning of all this.
The sun glares down
where the girl spills
her own life
beneath murksome reeds
edging a film-green pond.

The basket tumbles
down the hill to meet my hand,
trying to understand
life's cruelty. Explain,
why am I alone
in this final Autumn.



8.17.21
10.1.22 edit

written to Godless by The Dandy Warhols


August 17, 2021 at 9:59pm
August 17, 2021 at 9:59pm
#1015786
She would say how beautiful a sunset
with our forest on fire.

8.17.21

August 15, 2021 at 12:14pm
August 15, 2021 at 12:14pm
#1015662
         Some float down
as if from heaven, twirling,
mating with the air, bouncing
on the invisible mattress, slow
spin back and forth to meet
a calm green scene fading,
present to onlookers like me.
         Some tumble through
like wild gymnasts frolicking,
colliding with hard earth, dancing
about obstacles on their course, hyper
join a swarm of mates to meet
a village of cloistered inhabitants fading,
appear before bystanders like me.
         Some take their time,
as if mother won't let them mature, hanging
lonely, a child absent after recess crying
for a purpose in this late season, fear
natural selection to pluck them from despair, cloy
for her arm, hide in her nest, never to meet
true heaven on earth, feed sorrowful eyes of witnesses like me
         who long to join you,
and you, or you, but serve
this perch by the window, now
or for eternity. A dull heart fears
go out to play, as if some final day leaves,
in life viewed this way.



8.15.21

Cued up a song, thinking I'd blog about a basketball life at the YMCA and was disturbed by other thoughts, also cued up and ready to roll.
August 12, 2021 at 8:27am
August 12, 2021 at 8:27am
#1015541
Weight so heavy
cripples
Inertia on this floor
         smooth          linoleum          comfort
No argument here
Face flat
         on a cool surface
by the door
locked

Dust collects
on skin less like flesh
Never bother
get up
         Always
feel a cool surface
         a dry stream purge
Carry me
down this alley
         avenue

A hollow heart
grinds blood
Hollow head
grinds grist of thought
         slowing
beneath a table
shadowed
covered
surrounded by
empty chairs

a wide kitchen hush
lost village
         a ghost town
Me and dust

Tumblers fumble
The dull door unseals
Through that portal
         all lost
to another time

Stand sober
Crumbs wipe away
Excuses to be made?
Why?
Just,          why?
fantasize in such
a primitive place
where no one else
can see          me?

Though
where I wish
be found
before primordial decay



8.12.21/8.14.21 edit
52 lines, too long, too unstructured for any contest I know of.


It started with six lines re-edited into oblivion and taken over by an imagination that tends to get lost while seeking its way before sobering reality sets in.
Or,
I might just be talking out of my ass, as they say. Ever just laid on the hard floor for a temperate place to let the mind wander away from reality? You can't think like me until you're willing to let your face lay with the dust bunnies.
August 5, 2021 at 10:53pm
August 5, 2021 at 10:53pm
#1015218
Should I be bitter?
I'm a mix.
It's more interesting.
You cannot cultivate a taste
as I offer the core of me,
sliced, yet
not bleeding out. 7

Should I be scarred?
I have a remarkable body,
more interesting
than the pale flesh next to me
blathering about the weather,
the ball score,
some political rant
none of us have a hand in. 8

Should I be vexed?
Not at your disinterest,
though I'm curious what makes you
tick, tick, tick. When, do you
go boom!? Will your remains
be strewn in bed,
in your car, at your desk
where you're chained
nine to five?? 9

Wait, shouldn't I
be asking the questions?
No time for contemplation about that.
I'm about to take another bath,
lather myself in this vat,
remove dull oil and tar
of an ordinary world,
sip my weight in gin
mixed with something sweet.
Cherried stems top my treat. 10

Guess I'm done. 1



8.5.21
34+1, if we need to keep track.

just rambling now. Though, I think an attempt at social commentary about my newest rant about illiteracy that abounds in a community that proposes what? be ignorant??


August 5, 2021 at 10:11pm
August 5, 2021 at 10:11pm
#1015216
No one eats cheese as old as me.
If I were wine,
too precious to uncork.
I'm not even allowed on a shelf,
locked away in a cellar
with no temperature variance
outside 52 to 55. You would think
I'd be eyed by
all the lovers and dreamers
of special concoctions like me
that took their time to age,
bitter yet sweet, though
not tempting enough
for all the passersby who
barely get a hint
of what I'm eminating.

Reflecting, deflecting
in the dark
in the corner, in my
purgatorium/cemetarium,
wax me, cork me, full
of life's scintillating nostalgia, but,
oh no, not for you who
dines with store-bought cheddar,
aged 90 days in resealable cellophane,
sipping a glass of twist top
Moscato plied from a pulpy bath
at an industrial vineyard.

I'll age a little longer, inhale
some of what I'm breathing,
as I cozy up to dark, bourbon mash.

Enjoy your microwave corndogs!


8.5.21

Hmm, ageism? Not so much in this community, me thinks.
Yes, I made that word up:
http://ninjawords.com/Cemetarium
Pinterest it like Lou:
https://www.pinterest.com/louhellbaby/cemetarium/

Where are you, Bethany? You should be reading me.
August 4, 2021 at 11:50am
August 4, 2021 at 11:50am
#1015134


I make no apologies
For my humanness
When under duress
To find a fit in what
Always feels like a new place.

Faces I can’t see,
Let alone envision,
Never materialize before
My wondering eyes.

As I bumble around,
Step on your shoes,
I’m making every possible mistake,
Shunned by some who
Don’t know the first thing
About compassion for a fool.

With perceptions so long
In the making,
Can’t gravitate, elevate without
This awkward rambling.

Aiming for clarity, purity,
Feigning perfection,
I'm lonely, rejected because I
Cannot assimilate.


8.4.21
August 4, 2021 at 9:41am
August 4, 2021 at 9:41am
#1015126
Are you real?
just like the images that arrived
before your appearance,
now standing by my arm?
so near my flesh,
my heart?

How could I ever imagine you?
materialized?
in this scope where I look out?
seek you?
A thousand puzzle pieces could not
assemble a vision
so pure, so real,
forcing me not to believe
what is real —

the flesh of you,

so near a cavern echoing,
filled with your multiplying voices,
calling so near
my beating existence.

A river of blood
absorbs your impactful light.


Let me take a moment
to breathe, as if
my first inhale of the most premium air.
Let this be my life
beginning again.

Are you real?
or imagined, like the poem?



8.2.21
xx lines, x verse

Written to Pink duet (aloof on title, they all sound the same), half dreaming if ever to meet a celebrity like her, how we would communicate, knowing it would be difficult to impress upon someone so in demand. You would have to openly declare this, why they would have the feintest interest to commune with words I could share.

Since I'm making stuff up, I should write fiction and get paid. My net worth is not in a well stocked cache of managed funds/accounts but in a heart devoid of the true appreciation of just one who fully gets me.

21 Entries · *Magnify*
Page of 2 · 20 per page   < >
Previous ... -1- 2 ... Next

© Copyright 2024 Lorem Ipsum, Perhaps? (UN: ripglaedr3 at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
Lorem Ipsum, Perhaps? has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and its syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.

Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/blog/ripglaedr3/month/8-1-2021