10k views, 2x BestPoetryCollection. A nothing from nowhere cast words to a world wide wind |
I’m disabled by more than blindness. Writing: Like one of those adventure games where you go off questing in different directions but you don’t advance in life. Pretty medallions sought for words/my soul, a slow burn now. Life is full of misdirects right back to the start, you still quest with a thirst. If they take time to notice, must be doing something right. Life of turmoil produces stuff like this. Not going to call it beautiful agony…it gets a bit uglier. Minced words too pungent. scripturam in hoc non mutamus, quia stultus es et differentiam nescies. The beautiful mess you made. | Without knowledge, who’s to judge? | No gavel; no voice. I had a lover's quarrel with the world - Robert Frost | I'm sorry you got caught in the middle. - me *Neurodivergent poet. *I yearn to love without that fart in the room. *Honesty without mincing words. *Stay clear of those surrounded by rules. *Real dialogue accepted. Diagnosed with new disabilities in 2020: On the spectrum/ADHD (it gets complicated by PTSD and brain trauma). Been suggested by doctors I might want another brain scan. As it is: My words collect, arrange on a kaleidoscope spectrum. The true experience/acknowledgment of my writing yet to come...long after I’ve left WDC, am dead, or both? Truly been a blessing, but I've been pushing it — envelope, push world and all inhabitants away, push buttons, find boundaries, no clue why, where I've lived in your dark. Now and then, push dirt out of this hole; someone/thing/entity might envision me the way I need to be viewed (if I knew what that was. Cryptic, I know. Try living in my dark, find comfort amid the strange, virtual walls that tempt me to try). *The parenthetical ‘lawyer up’? Foot free, I’m all over the place. Best Poetry Collection 2X, nominated three years. What does it mean? I was enjoying myself, head bagged. A happy idiot. Something messed with that. I won’t be a coward; not starting feuds or wars over ideals and beliefs. We all know that’s a pile of crap packaged with dreams of pretty things to sell t the next boob that walks by. Been more than I could imagine or expect. My achievements aren’t going on a LinkedIn wall. I dig deeper than I should, push boundaries. Aimless words, brave or veiled cowardice, flinchingly flung, inadvertently hit targets. Get a ‘back off’ shoulder shot when asking your motivations to write. No prize to eye; not incentivized. Dealt the worst two cards before the flop, do the best with what you got. My Pluggers: You are an icon here. You suffer, but you suffer brilliantly. Wow, what a great writer.{/blue} It’s like plugging myself, but using other people’s (reviewers) words…Review of "Life’s Little Misdirections 🥀🦋" Your poetic muse is on fire! Some great emotion, well-balance(d), lovely lyrical qualities -- even the ones that were written out of sadness or anger came through in a clever cadence…It's obvious you've put a lot of work into each entry and the totality of the blog has eye appeal. Published four times with one a literary journal, including… "The Tender Core (Sedona)" I don’t submit because it’s too much work. Truly alone, know no one cares to show they believe/support me. Lip service feeds delusion. I’ve seen a lot of smoldering and snow. Try not be cynical, work hard at openness and consideration — work, sooo…gut thing. August 28, 2006 this blog opened ▼
No specific aim going forward (2014) ▼ This is old…. What? Oh, this? A rhetorical, self-motivational speech I'm working on. Don't just read the parts to construct your theory, as if to confirm (construed out of context) your opinion, mentally-stunted Neanderthal. Therapist wants me to be less negative toward myself. I see it as attacking, rather than being defensive. Fear I will chomp too many bullets unintentionally sent toward the unsuspecting. If you can be triggered for stupid reasons, then I? …just looked like me rolling around on the floor with myself. What Was NEW Who am I, you ask? My mirror knows that question, repeated daily. Just trying to create a little buzz, not boost my ego. #amwriting #poetry #blog #contest #freeverse #award #bestpoetry #freyaridings #lyrics #music #video #YouTube Can you believe it took this long for someone to put a quarter in me and push the button GET ANGRY? Mud 4 My Eye: Is that you, Poo? 💩 Secret Back Door ▼ |
We can blame writers for clichés. So good, their devised words, idioms, now over-employed. Reason poets struggle to come original, wanting to borrow now tired phrases. Forced to reimagine what’s already been said? upgrade Frost, Cummings, Angelou and Dickinson? What to choose when lost, holding a heart inside a cage housing a feathered thing, because everything possible has been written, and we must reach, perfect, without infringement of truest expression. Think harder, brighter, be well-read, rested when tested by loathsome environments — mono-syllabic, over-repeated pop melodies — sugary, sentimental, compartmentalist thought/walled off by PC/ inside a PC/coded/as we are recoded, deforming dystopian by cloaked nazism (uninformed ignorance programmed). Damn unincentivized public education, selling us short, humbled to comprehend, come up with a better expression. What about Sam and Diane? Will we infinitely Fast and Furious? How many trilogies trilogy in vacuous space to finally displease audiences pursuing our green? locked in anticipation of another season, salivating veal Mandalorian, prohibitively ponder and idle on idols, kick out any overused expression, scrutinize our own pale brain-text, fruit of cognitive labor is not worthy of 99 cents? a like?? Why self-abuse when none near, let alone hear these atypical meanderings dreaming caught in a medium fence. Out of my garden, inspiration glows. Outside my garden, no neighbors lean on poor protector, unfurled chicken wire, curled, galvanized collapse of mother clicks from emotional tic, tic, ticks. The rabbits can have all they can eat. I stand by clutched hoe. What a whore for a dollar more. Words bare flesh in my flesh. I rhymed. So, this must be the end. 2.24.23 Is it now? Is it now? How about now? Now, right? Diane Long nearly killed herself…for her craft? What helps me be so persistently strong? I could have ended on that suicidal thought. And, Why? Sometimes, no font choice at all. Life is gruesome, gritty, haste. Mixed in this garbage disposal mind-gut, enough toothy blades to devour and complain, spit out a beautiful mess, hawked up. Thanks Elle - on hiatus , Warped Sanity for encouragement, keeping it real. You inspire. I hope I, too. or not?? |
I could write a hundred poems right now, or absorb aura anchored deep deep down happy as any frown knowing I won’t drown I won’t dry up inside here It’s dark It’s deep Depth you won’t ladder to see Inner beauty sweet as song, singing with perfectly formed frown Drown on your dry land, or take my hand, trust a soul submerged, basting in life-long suffrage Survival only needs one revival — if you touch my hand, hear my hard band of gloaming words’ gleam Discord, rhapsodic, I hold you and sway Without you I stay I still see you from down here 2.24.23 Look, I wrote another ode to you. How do you like me now? My mental health in stasis doesn’t move a meter in this place and still I stay, sway, smile all the while. How was your day? And now, Times. See, feel? 2.24.23 ‘ladder’ replaces ‘scale’ |
OK you wanted it. The spigot is open. Let’s see what we got on tap? (For Writing.Com writers): I’m getting too old for this shit You’re acting 25 again Who knew white could be so opaque? you know she left years ago? Cleared, gray pavement appears You still have strong passion It’s thick and hard burns off when sun appears catches a weaker blade — catches a glint in a wink… Brittle trees repurpose in Spring Not too soon, but… too old for this shit Why should she be my captor, still? Another storm is approaching Not as strong as this one was Dump more opaque on my thick skull Roof tops shudder in a gale Mud flap drip-drip on idle boot Has the sun arrived? I’m not as strong as I once was… Opaque is white, too I clear this drive… dreams interrupt for the plow driver, and now I have this I’m going back inside maybe when summer returns… I’m too old for this shit and who said I had to be captivated? 2.24.23 Knock, knock Is this thing on? Understand me, feel me, or just… Opaque? I question who is the ‘thick’ one. You might be catching a drift Try another read through Do you read me now? Right. Who has time? and you’re not my captor… I don’t believe we’ve met…truly. Did I come half way for this? My response to a response within response…to myself (I know it’s a toughie. You can get there, if I was Nabokov, not some knock off (and there, i rhymed, sorta. We can be happy.) Why do I use Verdana for this…Times for other poems. Verdana when pointed, I’m a man, or need a clean read like stubble removed by blade. Times, when romantic, beautiful, passionate, pleading and near weak, but all these truths or some combine to show the unshaven, or the blue eyes, blond locks, yield to an estrogen counterpart. In my youth, I could have been gender fluid. It still informs me, at times. And, that’s enough sharing. "Alone With My Lioness" Response within all responses referenced by this…so, who’s a knock off now? It’s you. It’s always you. It will always be you. Give yourself a sticker if you made it to the end. I’ll give an exclusive merit to an equally ‘brilliant’ review of … this. Keep in mind, I keep myself in check. I feel how tiresome this all can be within myself. Resident Neurodivergent. I master no others words, but champion deserved friends |
They suck you right back in But, ultimately, force you to become indifferent So, I’ll leave it all on the floor None shall judge, once I leave this building 2.23.23 It’s not worth untangling a ball of thoughts hand it to them like some Nabokov The twine is dense because of bloody hands dedicated curse to task Hours in my dark shell a lonely fisherman dreaming bright reefs from shore Envisioning like some Emily recluse with intrusive words secluded in night chamber never approach a world so exclusive, hope to be included with scarred, ugly hands No one should work that hard to reveal an empty craft. Here’s my vine, you’re unwanted twine. Sans 999 novel lines today, consider this the omitted one. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pale_Fire Nabokov could be opaque to the unstudious mind |
Tune Me Slightly out of tune discord plays daily Black keys please my ears best Your forehead wrinkles Tune me Guide my hands over cobblestone white building soft, fluffy melodies your discerning ears yearn in dream Layers of dust pollen to these boards mingle with hardened flesh — impale sharp, plunge within my chest — Tune me Guide my eyes to part your cloud heavens Teach me golden dreams where you rest If this is rust heart repurposed bleeds for rare return the best Soul drum of syrup I’ll purge for you So, tune me Rhapsodic melodies urge long your tender hands on mine Teach me on my playground your tender sex What purpose all I’m feeling decomposing my hard words in soft tune? When iron rusts? They break your heart unaccustomed to your form. Words inform, spoken could mean even more. Author Note ▼ |
Maybe, inspiration will come. In a rut/funk now…been. https://www.quotev.com/quiz/13568704/What-is-your-kryptonite I got: Uncommitted If this is your kryptonite, you might hesitate when faced with situation that require dedication to a particular long-term goal. Often, this term is used for romantic relationships, but it can be used for any other areas of life. Being unable to make commitments can be troublesome, because this inability can cause failure in any sort of relationship, ambitions, and work. You might find that you can’t stay in a relationship for longer than a few weeks, or you can’t follow the same daily routine you have planned for yourself for longer than a week. Perhaps you get bored or tired easily. You lose motivation quicker than you gain it. The perks of this kryptonite is that you have the desire for change. This allows you to experiment with new ideas, so you gain more knowledge, and open up your mind. So, being uncommitted is not so entirely bad, and it’s perfectly understandable. |
Forest Nights Sensed I had waking nightmares mustache hairs were trying to shake hands with the gray nose outcrop reaching low, while wily eyebrows wound like winter vines spiky-hung to look in any open cave. Ear hairs collectively sang a chorus in their cramped theater. Little space for any other sound to wedge within, when I did not hear you. Eyes strained in an antique white-walled room, scrutinizing pale lips, your dilated orbs, well spaced from furred furrows silent arced language. A protracted scene induced rising, flooding in chambers. Clogged heart suffocating, breath going out did not receive good molecules in return. My hands trembled but did not bridge a division growing without and I could smell everything with a grease-fried, crisp tongue, skewered. Oxygen rained on a weathered, soft canopy. Moist and humid, loss resurrected my soft spine, straightened at shoulder, spanning out to search your grace, touch skin in dark, when I woke. I have yet to find you in these forest nights. 2.17.23 New title a little too contrived, on the nose, poem all together too confusing, some or all of the preceding? I went live before I had a satisfying edit…not sated yet. |
The Quiet Quirks Of Grown Up Kittens There’s no one here to laugh when I walk down the hallway towards the bathroom and see a pair of green eyes gleam from the sometimes habitué in shadowed dark above the edge of our bathtub and say “hey bud, I see you’re in your fortress of solitude.“ so much of me is wasted, words that drift into the paint of these walls, gathering above my head, unabsorbed. The walls or the words? Does it matter? 2.11.23 Some Refrain In The Membrane: I’m gonna fill up that blog Fill up that, fill up that Fill up that blog… with every last remaining thought I’m long past due time to stop seeing therapists who won’t meet me in their office I’ve got a simple blog with few replies that will suffice
A book is coming…I keep telling myself…as all kinds of arbitrary deadlines near & pass…like blaring traffic. So, there’s that. |
unpreserved something, something, neurodivergent whenever the words swirl a storm inside my head they attach like snowflakes in the upper atmosphere before they fall heavy as eyelashes weave within the white without sound without hesitation enveloped and forgotten and onto the next unique batch of crystals forming, reforming isotopes of a beautifully ignorant mind that cannot possibly construct two thoughts alike as properly parsed patterns so others will understand — know the beautiful torment submerged skies prepare until the next gas station fill up of frosted bakery fresh perked java I'll idle in my bed I'll idle in my head I'll idle 'til I'm dead if i can avoid each of you, and forget every beautiful snowfall dreams that melt unpreserved unbonded by words of yours. 2.10.23 30 lines, or 32 if we count title and caption free verse why can't i paint a picture of my pain for you so you can grieve for me, so i know it's okay for me to weep, too. about impetus on another momentary soul search happenstance ▼ sounding a bit fatalistic as a neurotypical ▼ much ado about snowflakes ▼ |
Our house shook. You -- comforted by lightning and thunder Grounded, struck by the flashes. Rattled like the large window panes, My weak putty and blade could apply. Years saturated, stagnant water trapped in our walls, released a torment… Plaster Carpet Wood Sogged. When we tried to repair despair regret we lived so careless ignorant. And there’s still rumbling Building As you delight in coming event We could burn But this hollow house full of oxygen smolders squashes a spark No blaze forthcoming. Our house shook. I’m unsettled and can’t settle noise inside four walls My roof overhead could tumble down. 2.10.23 Bit more epic than ventured. Something I’ve been working on last few days, not a spurious offering. I forget the impetus but get the pulse, with each word building into…something? https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sog |
Master Of Flies no innocence spared I know who or what I’ll hunt when humanity devolves. I do not wait. I choose not to idle, to be struck first. The time to wonder is before a world on fire. Sticks sharp, traps ready will set. Blood they’ll thirst. I’ll not crave. Mind nightly maps each coming conflict and possible outcomes. Glass will be dull, deep shoved in cavernous heads. None will mount sticks. Flies will not feast where I flourish, but on red streets of my victims. They die by my hand. I’m undead, killed by them lifelong. I spared breath for muscle. Sinew strong, I’ll flex and strike again and again. No graves for them. They left me in rubble. I hide in ruby. Will rise from boulder crushed to pebble and dust. Life grinds, even now. The end could be near. Sharpen your sticks. You think you have just cause to fight, to the teeth? To your death? I have no use for you as you for a master after I was dead. 2.6.23 A Grindhouse Joint Revisiting “Lord Of The Flies” day after tormenting day and making my mind up about something. |
Penguins, with their black and white tuxedo appearance, always look like they’re ready to impress the ladies. But for Adelie and Gentoo penguins, they also need the perfect pebble to seal the deal. These penguins live on rocky shores and prize these small stones to build their nests during mating season. During courtship, a male penguin will find the smoothest pebble to give to a female as a gift. If she likes the offering, she’ll place it in the nest and the two will continue building up their little pebble mound in preparation for the eggs. Of course, “pebble envy” remains a problem for some male penguins who just can’t find the right rock on their own. Instead, they will steal the best-looking pebbles from another penguin and pawn them off as their own. For some species of whale, songs are their romantic gesture of choice. Whales rely heavily on sound to communicate in the water. And when mating season rolls around, male humpback whales will belt out amorous tunes to woo a female. Some research even suggests that males will start to weave complex syntax into songs to convey more information to a potential mate. But, there are always other males ready to imitate successful song styles to win over their own crushes. Sea otters lie on their backs when they’re in need of a deep doze, but their prone position also creates the perfect excuse to hold paws with their significant otter. Sea otters will either grab on to each other, or wrap themselves up in kelp, to keep from drifting apart at sea while they rest. But, it’s not all hearts and roses when it comes to mating season. Sea otters are polygynous, meaning a single male can mate with several females. This usually results in fierce competition between males to land a female. Reproduction for seahorses is a delicate dance in which males and females aim to be perfectly in sync with each other. Studies have shown that seahorse couples will court for several hours, swimming side by side to mirror each other’s movements. The longer two partners are together, the more successful they become at breeding. After mating, the male prepares to do what very few animals, including humans, are capable of doing for their lady. Male seahorses will carry up to 1,500 eggs in his pouch for about 45 days, leaving the females to relax until her babies are ready to be born. Monogamous French angelfish are rarely without each other: In fact, they’re almost always observed in pairs. Together, they must jointly defend their feeding territory from other hungry fishes, showing that teamwork helps build stronger bonds with your loved one. If they happen to drift apart, their reunion involves behavior known as “carouseling,” circling around each other as a kind of greeting. Maybe this will inspire you to poeticize a sea creature…like the Penguin…this month, here:
Hope to see you there. https://oceana.org/blog/sea-creatures-keep-love-alive-romantic-gestures/ |
It's February forgive me for not dining on the buffet that is addictive chocolate severed blooms destined to wither in heart shaped vases, stored in dark, hidden coves of souls for months, to years, but...unrelated... Hollowgraphic Socialism bad. Capitalism good? Socialism bad? Capitalism good. Been bouncing ideals on my tender knee mindlessly ignorantly eternally Farmers need 4 dollars for a crated Styrofoam carton of eggs Electric cars no go in this climate prone to snow Can you bounce that? Too heavy. Get out of the way. Where am I going with this? Don’t speak to them? Don’t speak to me. Candy for them. Liquor for me? Interactive role play. Candy crushed? Live internally? Don’t live in this reality, because we're all pawns in a holo- graphic universe try chewing on that? and what the hell is that supposed to mean? when we are made of chocolate when we die as red roses? we brightly ingest we burn for surprise of wondrous, torment of perfect, dilated eyes we fail and find dirt? sorry, it had to end this way this is only the beginning of the end i could have sworn I was real i really thought you were, too who am i to say? i'm no cosmologist or physicist but practicing behaviorist winding my way through the sewage to get to dry dust. this must be survival? 2.3.23 something random and epic (like the shared song) that's pasted from multiple poetic efforts that come up short on own, lacking a hook like the vocal warbling of the nice TTB singer lady. I can add, edit or delete later, since this is all real and yet not. No, feels kinda dun. and that's about as heavy as it gets...add whatever emoji to dumb down as I sundown (sorry, I tried). Can't make it better. Is this where the poem ends? Or did it end on me when you stopped reading?? my apologies to Tedeschi Trucks. Blog space is limited. |
Ollie Ollie oxen free. Physi-physi-ognomy Bright sparkle our dead wood. Catch homunculi if I could. Over over red rover. The ball hides in the clover. On which side of the house Will I catch myself a mouse. Cans now kicked down lonely road. Burden, an invisible load. No games or friends again today. Mothers called them all away. 12 lines, traditional rhyming 1.28.23 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Olly_olly_oxen_free Physiognomy ▼ Homunculus ▼ |
The truck is broken it’s snowing Alex needs the car for work tonight the truck stays in the garage tonight can’t employ it on these roads maybe we’ll give Alex a ride to work engine light appeared on the truck this morning and the roads are a mess don’t want Alex in the ditch again with that car I’m done paying to repair this truck supposed to get us through another winter can less afford risk to Alex in that car why can’t I trust a truck? what peril new snow on roads? what good is a car that fails, too? how are you and your aging truck? how’s the weather? how am I to care for that boy and these vehicles? I should buy something new We should move from this zone Alex needs to be on his own I could get him a truck move to Arizona with a car that has its share of repairs, too have you seen truck prices? this weather? this debt growing each day and night? I remember when I wasn’t ready to grow up when cars weren’t equipped for these roads when dad always bailed me out, or you 1.27.23 |
i view you as if for the last is it the last? i listen light heart tightening clutched for you i yearn hold holographic vision before revision i touch soft singular screen pixeled vision fading i savor again as you go out licked light on my porch joined cinnamon stick stirs a black tea in rockers reclined, rest dust creeps sour eyes stung, as night hung to bed shall i dream of you instead? 1.24.23 does it end here? there's always a parting shot. the past will be repast will be past in this paste thickening 2.14.23 edited structure with couplets primarily instead of consistent three-line stanzas to eliminate need for punctuation in places calling for it. does it end here comment added as two lines. |
We Are False I am false I like to say we so I don’t feel alone but I am alone We are false 1.7.23 |
Tangled (fanciful) Flight I held your knotted tail flat cotton flow with wind whipping me wound and bound teething a tether seething struggle in frantic flight fight for futuristic visions heralded horizons headlong hopeful to climb your crafted kite surf bright breezes in twittered twilight tearful to ascend as near as far as this will go to whatever heaven now exists attached to your rope soothing tassel twirling twisted up, tangled verses sung, flung to vacuous clouds where are my ears? here is your clown should we descend gently to Aramis ground who is the tapestry? how heavy as a rug what strength wind to take flight in black? eyes fear even the imaginary delude reality tickling red demons bite false flesh carry off as food thought that sailed away before buried soft in sand. 40 lines free verse 1.16.23 1.24.23 major structure and grammar edits Aramis ▼ |
i'm in my hole in my box in the ground approximately six feet down because i've dug and dug decades long waiting for a long dirt nap but there's frost and cardboard won't suffice i'll be ice before spring thaws i'm in my garage be-dimmed with hammer and nails and do it yourself coffin kit knotted pine in gray heaps hovers over cement dry on two-by-fours and there are instructions this may take awhile but eventually I'll be fine when it's time if we ever know when that is, and if i'll need help lowering down for now my hole is a time share i rent 52 weeks a year hope the earth doesn't swallow up before then they all mock me like Moses the flood already came and went I'm just waiting for the next 1.14.23 137 words of free verse. not long. not long like 30 lines sounds. Dew Drop Edit ▼ from 'living in the margins of minutia', an as-yet, ill-conceived book title of aspiring averageness. I've gone through periods of this before. There are spats of blog entries with endless nattering of thought after thought of what did I mean by that? let the exploration end again this morning at the drug cabinet, topped with the usual dose of caffeine. |