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Rated: 18+ · Book · Spiritual · #1149750
10k views, 2x BestPoetryCollection. A nothing from nowhere cast words to a world wide wind
I’m disabled by more than blindness.

Writing: Like one of those adventure games where you go off questing in different directions but you don’t advance in life. Pretty medallions sought for words/my soul, slow burnt. Full of misdirects, right back at the start, but still quest with thirst.

Life of turmoil produces stuff like this. Not going to call it beautiful agony…it gets a bit uglier. Minced words too pungent. If they take time to notice, must be doing something right.

scripturam in hoc non mutamus, quia stultus es et differentiam nescies.

(hic)

The beautiful mess you made:
I had a lover's quarrel with the world - Robert Frost

         |
I'm sorry you got caught in the middle. - me

Neurodivergent poet seeks love without that fart in the room between us. Honesty without mincing words has come with a price for those juggling the hot my takes on what’s ‘truth’ (here’s some oven mitts). Best to stay clear of those surrounded by moat rules.

Real dialogue is accepted.

Wasn’t as open at first about recent diagnosis on spectrum with ADHD (complicated by PTSD, life of brain traumas). Been suggested by doctors of late I might want another brain scan (since 12/4/17…blogged).

This poet’s words collect, arrange on a kaleidoscope spectrum. The experience of discovery through writing is the truest reward that has allowed me to grow and learn who/what I am — what other people get naturally, immediately, while I stomp around in it.

Been blessed, but pushing it — envelope, world and all inhabitants away. Push buttons, find boundaries to trip traps. No clue why cat curiosity, living in your dark. (Bored, perhaps?)

Now and then, push dirt out of this hole; someone/thing/entity might envision me how I need to be viewed (if I knew what that was). Cryptic, yes. Try living in my dark, find comfort amid strange, virtual, wonderful walls that tower above, tempt me to scale.

Been more than I could imagine or expect here. But, achievements aren’t going on a LinkedIn wall *Think*. I dig deeper than I should, often without forethought. Aimless words, brave or veiled cowardice, flinchingly flung, inadvertently hit targets? Get a ‘back off’ shoulder shot when asking your motivations here. Not fair?

No prize to eye; not incentivized. Dealt the worst two cards before the flop, do best with what’s in hand.



My Pluggers:
You are an icon here.*BigSmile*
You suffer, but you suffer brilliantly. Wow, what a great writer.*Heart*


It’s like plugging myself, but using other people’s (reviewers) words…Review of "Poetic Referendum(s) On Life"
Your poetic muse is on fire! *Fire* Some great emotion, well-balance(d), lovely lyrical qualities -- even the ones that were written out of sadness or anger came through in a clever cadence…It's obvious you've put a lot of work into each entry and the totality of the blog has eye appeal. *Cool*

 
Published four times with one a literary journal, including… *PointRight*   "The Tender Core (Sedona)
I don’t submit because it’s too much work. Truly alone, know no one cares to show they believe/support me. Lip service feeds delusion. I’ve seen a lot of smoldering and snow. Try not be cynical, work hard at openness and consideration — work, sooo…gut thing.

*Toilet* *RibbonW* Merit Badge in Taboo Words
[Click For More Info]

Brian,

Congratulations! You won 1st Place in Taboo Words with your fantastic poem, [Link to Book Entry #1027659]. 

I absolutely loved this! *^*Heart*^*

Rachel Merit Badge in Poetry
[Click For More Info]

    Thanks you for supporting the  [Link To Item #power]  with an order to the  [Link To Item #powergifts] ! We appreciate it. *^*Heartv*^* Keep writing the beautiful poetry. [Link to Book Entry #1027659] is an awesome poem! *^*Starv*^* ~Lornda

 
Love my process constructing and sharing visions in words collected (no small task considering personal and physical limitations, see below).


August 28, 2006 this blog opened

BOOK
SuperNova Afterglow: End Of Days  (18+)
All that remains: here in my afterlife as a 'mainstream' blogger, with what little I know.
#1300042 by Brian K Compton, Machinehead


No specific aim going forward (2014)

 
What I used to say: 'Maybe, I just don't get it. Watch me fumble with my version of reality, expose ignorance as truth. You don't have to get me, either. But, wish someone would explain me to myself.' Now I say: *Cool* *FacePalm* Now: I was such a whore.
 


*Laugh*This is old….
What? Oh, this? A rhetorical, self-motivational speech I'm working on.
Don't just read the parts to construct your theory, as if to confirm (construed out of context) your opinion, mentally-stunted Neanderthal. Therapist wants me to be less negative toward myself. I see it as attacking, rather than being defensive. Fear I will chomp too many bullets unintentionally sent toward the unsuspecting.
If you can be triggered for stupid reasons, then I?
…just looked like me rolling around on the floor with myself.*RollEyes*
             



What Was NEW

Who am I, you ask? My mirror knows that question, repeated daily.

Just trying to create a little buzz, not boost my ego.

#amwriting #poetry #blog #contest #freeverse #award #bestpoetry #freyaridings #lyrics #music #video #YouTube

Can you believe it took this long for someone to put a quarter in me and push the button GET ANGRY?
 

Mud 4 My Eye: Is that you, Poo? 💩 Secret Back Door

The Best Poetry Collection on Writing.Com
February 23, 2023 at 5:25pm
February 23, 2023 at 5:25pm
#1045420
I could write a hundred poems
right now, or
absorb aura anchored deep
deep down
happy as any frown knowing
I won’t drown
I won’t dry up inside here
It’s dark
It’s deep
Depth you won’t ladder to see
Inner beauty
sweet as song, singing
with perfectly formed frown

Drown on your dry land, or
take my hand, trust
a soul submerged, basting
in life-long suffrage
Survival only needs
one revival — if you touch my hand,
hear my hard band
of gloaming words’ gleam

Discord, rhapsodic,
I hold you and sway

Without you
I stay

I still see you
         from down here


2.24.23

Look, I wrote another ode to you.
How do you like me now?
My mental health in stasis doesn’t move a meter
in this place
and still I stay, sway,
smile all the while.

How was your day?


And now, Times. See, feel?
2.24.23 ‘ladder’ replaces ‘scale’
February 23, 2023 at 3:37pm
February 23, 2023 at 3:37pm
#1045414
OK you wanted it. The spigot is open. Let’s see what we got on tap? (For Writing.Com writers):

I’m getting too old for this shit
You’re acting 25 again
Who knew white could be so opaque?
you know she left years ago?
Cleared, gray pavement appears
You still have strong passion
It’s thick and hard
burns off when sun appears
catches a weaker blade —
catches a glint in a wink…

Brittle trees repurpose in Spring
Not too soon, but…
too old for this shit
Why should she be my captor, still?

Another storm is approaching
         Not as strong as this one was
Dump more opaque on my thick skull
         Roof tops shudder in a gale
Mud flap drip-drip on idle boot
         Has the sun arrived?
I’m not as strong as I once was…
         Opaque is white, too
I clear this drive…
         dreams interrupt for the plow driver,

and now I have this
I’m going back inside
         maybe when summer returns…
I’m too old for this shit and
who said I had to be captivated?


2.24.23

Knock, knock
Is this thing on?
Understand me, feel me, or just…
Opaque?
I question who is the ‘thick’ one.

You might be catching a drift
Try another read through
Do you read me now?
Right.
Who has time? and
you’re not my captor…

I don’t believe we’ve met…truly.
Did I come half way for this?


My response to a response within response…to myself
(I know it’s a toughie. You can get there, if I was Nabokov, not some knock off (and there, i rhymed, sorta. We can be happy.)

Why do I use Verdana for this…Times for other poems.
Verdana when pointed, I’m a man, or need a clean read like stubble removed by blade.
Times, when romantic, beautiful, passionate, pleading and near weak, but all these truths or some combine to show the unshaven, or the blue eyes, blond locks, yield to an estrogen counterpart. In my youth, I could have been gender fluid. It still informs me, at times. And, that’s enough sharing.

"Alone With My Lioness
Response within all responses referenced by this…so, who’s a knock off now?
It’s you. It’s always you. It will always be you.
Give yourself a sticker if you made it to the end. I’ll give an exclusive merit to an equally ‘brilliant’ review of … this. Keep in mind, I keep myself in check. I feel how tiresome this all can be within myself. Resident Neurodivergent. I master no others words, but champion deserved friends
February 23, 2023 at 3:12am
February 23, 2023 at 3:12am
#1045388
They suck you right back in



But, ultimately, force you to become indifferent

So, I’ll leave it all on the floor



None shall judge, once I leave this building

2.23.23

It’s not worth untangling a ball of thoughts
hand it to them
like some Nabokov
The twine is dense
because of bloody hands
dedicated curse to task

Hours in my dark shell
a lonely fisherman
dreaming bright reefs from shore

Envisioning like some Emily
recluse with intrusive words
secluded in night chamber
never approach a world
so exclusive, hope to be included
with scarred, ugly hands

No one should work that hard
to reveal an empty craft.

Here’s my vine, you’re unwanted twine.


Sans 999 novel lines today, consider this the omitted one.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pale_Fire

Nabokov could be opaque to the unstudious mind


© Copyright 2024 Brian K Compton, Machinehead (UN: ripglaedr3 at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
Brian K Compton, Machinehead has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and its syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.

Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/blog/ripglaedr3/day/2-23-2023