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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/blog/ripglaedr3/day/3-7-2022
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Rated: 18+ · Book · Spiritual · #1149750
10k views, 2x BestPoetryCollection. A nothing from nowhere cast words to a world wide wind
I’m disabled by more than blindness.

Writing: Like one of those adventure games where you go off questing in different directions but you don’t advance in life. Pretty medallions sought for words/my soul, slow burnt. Full of misdirects, right back at the start, but still quest with thirst.

Life of turmoil produces stuff like this. Not going to call it beautiful agony…it gets a bit uglier. Minced words too pungent. If they take time to notice, must be doing something right.

scripturam in hoc non mutamus, quia stultus es et differentiam nescies.

(hic)

The beautiful mess you made:
I had a lover's quarrel with the world - Robert Frost

         |
I'm sorry you got caught in the middle. - me

Neurodivergent poet seeks love without that fart in the room between us. Honesty without mincing words has come with a price for those juggling the hot my takes on what’s ‘truth’ (here’s some oven mitts). Best to stay clear of those surrounded by moat rules.

Real dialogue is accepted.

Wasn’t as open at first about recent diagnosis on spectrum with ADHD (complicated by PTSD, life of brain traumas). Been suggested by doctors of late I might want another brain scan (since 12/4/17…blogged).

This poet’s words collect, arrange on a kaleidoscope spectrum. The experience of discovery through writing is the truest reward that has allowed me to grow and learn who/what I am — what other people get naturally, immediately, while I stomp around in it.

Been blessed, but pushing it — envelope, world and all inhabitants away. Push buttons, find boundaries to trip traps. No clue why cat curiosity, living in your dark. (Bored, perhaps?)

Now and then, push dirt out of this hole; someone/thing/entity might envision me how I need to be viewed (if I knew what that was). Cryptic, yes. Try living in my dark, find comfort amid strange, virtual, wonderful walls that tower above, tempt me to scale.

Been more than I could imagine or expect here. But, achievements aren’t going on a LinkedIn wall *Think*. I dig deeper than I should, often without forethought. Aimless words, brave or veiled cowardice, flinchingly flung, inadvertently hit targets? Get a ‘back off’ shoulder shot when asking your motivations here. Not fair?

No prize to eye; not incentivized. Dealt the worst two cards before the flop, do best with what’s in hand.



My Pluggers:
You are an icon here.*BigSmile*
You suffer, but you suffer brilliantly. Wow, what a great writer.*Heart*


It’s like plugging myself, but using other people’s (reviewers) words…Review of "Poetic Referendum(s) On Life"
Your poetic muse is on fire! *Fire* Some great emotion, well-balance(d), lovely lyrical qualities -- even the ones that were written out of sadness or anger came through in a clever cadence…It's obvious you've put a lot of work into each entry and the totality of the blog has eye appeal. *Cool*

 
Published four times with one a literary journal, including… *PointRight*   "The Tender Core (Sedona)
I don’t submit because it’s too much work. Truly alone, know no one cares to show they believe/support me. Lip service feeds delusion. I’ve seen a lot of smoldering and snow. Try not be cynical, work hard at openness and consideration — work, sooo…gut thing.

*Toilet* *RibbonW* Merit Badge in Taboo Words
[Click For More Info]

Brian,

Congratulations! You won 1st Place in Taboo Words with your fantastic poem, [Link to Book Entry #1027659]. 

I absolutely loved this! *^*Heart*^*

Rachel Merit Badge in Poetry
[Click For More Info]

    Thanks you for supporting the  [Link To Item #power]  with an order to the  [Link To Item #powergifts] ! We appreciate it. *^*Heartv*^* Keep writing the beautiful poetry. [Link to Book Entry #1027659] is an awesome poem! *^*Starv*^* ~Lornda

 
Love my process constructing and sharing visions in words collected (no small task considering personal and physical limitations, see below).


August 28, 2006 this blog opened

BOOK
SuperNova Afterglow: End Of Days  (18+)
All that remains: here in my afterlife as a 'mainstream' blogger, with what little I know.
#1300042 by Brian K Cognitive Dissonance


No specific aim going forward (2014)

 
What I used to say: 'Maybe, I just don't get it. Watch me fumble with my version of reality, expose ignorance as truth. You don't have to get me, either. But, wish someone would explain me to myself.' Now I say: *Cool* *FacePalm* Now: I was such a whore.
 


*Laugh*This is old….
What? Oh, this? A rhetorical, self-motivational speech I'm working on.
Don't just read the parts to construct your theory, as if to confirm (construed out of context) your opinion, mentally-stunted Neanderthal. Therapist wants me to be less negative toward myself. I see it as attacking, rather than being defensive. Fear I will chomp too many bullets unintentionally sent toward the unsuspecting.
If you can be triggered for stupid reasons, then I?
…just looked like me rolling around on the floor with myself.*RollEyes*
             



What Was NEW

Who am I, you ask? My mirror knows that question, repeated daily.

Just trying to create a little buzz, not boost my ego.

#amwriting #poetry #blog #contest #freeverse #award #bestpoetry #freyaridings #lyrics #music #video #YouTube

Can you believe it took this long for someone to put a quarter in me and push the button GET ANGRY?
 

Mud 4 My Eye: Is that you, Poo? 💩 Secret Back Door

The Best Poetry Collection on Writing.Com
March 7, 2022 at 7:43pm
March 7, 2022 at 7:43pm
#1028536
What's the reading level of your audience,
elitist rag, using student funded dollars
to cloak words in riddles and devices
to delight and surprise the Sunday crossword
composers? I'm taking aim at this mastery
to craft the clever ditty that to you looks shitty.
I take aim at those words published by others
with names not germane to this region
and wonder how many of me are left in the woods
with our rifles and cheap fifths of something
soaked in gray beards as we squint and aim
and hope not to kill one another? Your rag
would make an outdoorsman shit with spectacular
color, take aim at those words not germane.
Perhaps ink some words on those bathroom stalls
with the deer heads and other antlered things
on the walls. And in full orange gear, they do not fear
ridicule for not being like the others on those stools.
Plenty of interesting stories go around here, not ones
examining self-worth to a jellyfish in a coral reef
on expedition of inner light, self-glowing a starless night.
And where is this all going but down with a yank? I do not
share scribbles among your heavenly scholars scribing
multi-syllablic words not heard in a century, or composed
with such fashion that eyes turn away before the
seventeenth comma in elaborate, one sentence ‘graph.
I read, compelled, and wonder: should I understand this all?
as my words take aim at a shitty web wall, hoping
not too small for the audience tripping over this mic cord.



29 lines, free verse
3.7.22
4.3.22 edit

maybe, i'll like this, or never at all. Prose-y, rhyme-y, disconnected slam-y free verse.

EVERY Shadows & Light Entry Contained Herein


March 7, 2022 at 12:37pm
March 7, 2022 at 12:37pm
#1028504
I could take that bath but
will I feel worse when I wake up?
I will feel worse
when I wake.
I peer through the glass.
Waves of amber swirl so light.
Yes, I would bathe,
now that my soul is naked
but I can't and
put it back.

I dream of you, all hours
of the day,
of the night black
and wonder if these feelings
will ever
go away.

I could hold you to my heart,
fully corked, unwilling to spill,
as long as your cool magnum
chills my bodice corpse.

I lay in this cradle
like a crypt, unwilling to cry out
because they could take it all away,
and I need this place to stay.

Baptismal waters churn
and bubble and gleam,
wishing a temptress would beckon
to christen me anew, but
I wasted all my days.

I peer though my night.
Waves furl about a false,
navigational guide.
I can't hide. Let me
drown in my sheets this night.


3.7.22


the potential for alcoholism is great. I've been there and back and believe me, I do not want to go there again. I wish I could just keep the temptress without paying a debt.


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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/blog/ripglaedr3/day/3-7-2022