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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/blog/ripglaedr3/day/9-23-2021
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Rated: 18+ · Book · Spiritual · #1149750
10k views, 2x BestPoetryCollection. A nothing from nowhere cast words to a world wide wind
I’m disabled by more than blindness.

Writing: Like one of those adventure games where you go off questing in different directions but you don’t advance in life. Pretty medallions sought for words/my soul, a slow burn now. Life is full of misdirects right back to the start, you still quest with a thirst.

If they take time to notice, must be doing something right. Life of turmoil produces stuff like this. Not going to call it beautiful agony…it gets a bit uglier. Minced words too pungent.

scripturam in hoc non mutamus, quia stultus es et differentiam nescies.

hic honor, quem accepistis, non est operae pretium, sicut non est bonum.
*BigSmile*
si hoc legere potes, gratiarum actio pro tempore.

The beautiful mess you made.
         |
Without knowledge, who’s to judge?
         |
No gavel; no voice.

I had a lover's quarrel with the world - Robert Frost
         |
I'm sorry you got caught in the middle. - me

*Neurodivergent poet.
*I yearn to love without that fart in the room.
*Honesty without mincing words.
*Stay clear of those surrounded by rules.
*Real dialogue accepted.

Diagnosed with new disabilities in 2020: On the spectrum/ADHD (it gets complicated by PTSD and brain trauma). Been suggested by doctors I might want another brain scan. As it is: My words collect, arrange on a kaleidoscope spectrum. The true experience/acknowledgment of my writing yet to come...long after I’ve left WDC, am dead, or both?

Truly been a blessing, but I've been pushing it — envelope, push world and all inhabitants away, push buttons, find boundaries, no clue why, where I've lived in your dark. Now and then, push dirt out of this hole; someone/thing/entity might envision me the way I need to be viewed (if I knew what that was. Cryptic, I know. Try living in my dark, find comfort amid the strange, virtual walls that tempt me to try).
*The parenthetical ‘lawyer up’?



Foot free, I’m all over the place.
 
"Note: Poetry: life’s little interruptions amassing int..."
 

Best Poetry Collection 2X, nominated three years. What does it mean? I was enjoying myself, head bagged. A happy idiot. Something messed with that. I won’t be a coward; not starting feuds or wars over ideals and beliefs. We all know that’s a pile of crap packaged with dreams of pretty things to sell t the next boob that walks by. *Clown*

Been more than I could imagine or expect. My achievements aren’t going on a LinkedIn wall. I dig deeper than I should, push boundaries. Aimless words, brave or veiled cowardice, flinchingly flung, inadvertently hit targets. Get a ‘back off’ shoulder shot when asking your motivations to write.

No prize to eye; not incentivized. Dealt the worst two cards before the flop, do the best with what you got.



My Pluggers:
You are an icon here.*BigSmile*
You suffer, but you suffer brilliantly. Wow, what a great writer.{/blue}*Heart*

It’s like plugging myself, but using other people’s (reviewers) words…Review of "Epigram ‘n Aphorism Samwiches"
Your poetic muse is on fire! *Fire* Some great emotion, well-balance(d), lovely lyrical qualities -- even the ones that were written out of sadness or anger came through in a clever cadence…It's obvious you've put a lot of work into each entry and the totality of the blog has eye appeal. *Cool*

 
Published four times with one a literary journal, including… *PointRight*   "The Tender Core (Sedona)" 
I don’t submit because it’s too much work. Truly alone, know no one cares to show they believe/support me. Lip service feeds delusion. I’ve seen a lot of smoldering and snow. Try not be cynical, work hard at openness and consideration — work, sooo…gut thing.

*Toilet* *RibbonW* Merit Badge in Taboo Words [Click For More Info] Brian, Congratulations! You won 1st Place in Taboo Words with your fantastic poem, [Link to Book Entry #1027659]. I absolutely loved this! *^*Heart*^* Rachel Merit Badge in Poetry [Click For More Info] Thanks you for supporting the [Link To Item #power] with an order to the [Link To Item #powergifts] ! We appreciate it. *^*Heartv*^* Keep writing the beautiful poetry. [Link to Book Entry #1027659] is an awesome poem! *^*Starv*^* ~Lornda

 
Love my process constructing and sharing visions in words collected (no small task considering personal and physical limitations, see below).


August 28, 2006 this blog opened ▼

BOOK
SuperNova Afterglow: End Of Days  (18+)
All that remains: here in my afterlife as a 'mainstream' blogger, with what little I know.
#1300042 by Lorem Ipsum, Perhaps?


No specific aim going forward (2014) ▼

 
What I used to say: 'Maybe, I just don't get it. Watch me fumble with my version of reality, expose ignorance as truth. You don't have to get me, either. But, wish someone would explain me to myself.' Now I say: *Cool* *FacePalm* Now: I was such a whore.
 


*Laugh*This is old….
What? Oh, this? A rhetorical, self-motivational speech I'm working on.
Don't just read the parts to construct your theory, as if to confirm (construed out of context) your opinion, mentally-stunted Neanderthal. Therapist wants me to be less negative toward myself. I see it as attacking, rather than being defensive. Fear I will chomp too many bullets unintentionally sent toward the unsuspecting.
If you can be triggered for stupid reasons, then I?
…just looked like me rolling around on the floor with myself.*RollEyes*
             



What Was NEW

Who am I, you ask? My mirror knows that question, repeated daily.

Just trying to create a little buzz, not boost my ego.

#amwriting #poetry #blog #contest #freeverse #award #bestpoetry #freyaridings #lyrics #music #video #YouTube

Can you believe it took this long for someone to put a quarter in me and push the button GET ANGRY?
 

Mud 4 My Eye: Is that you, Poo? 💩 Secret Back Door ▼

The Best Poetry Collection on Writing.Com ▼
September 23, 2021 at 10:14pm
September 23, 2021 at 10:14pm
#1017945

Sploosh! Bus!!

Zipped in green nylon,
my muffled world in persistent Autumn rain.
Out the door into fresh morning adventure,
sploosh the thickest, muddiest ones
with tall, brand new rubber stompers,
thick and black and dry.

The dome of protection shrouded eagerness to clutch
the brightest, prettiest castoffs, clotting
verdant yards -- firm receptacles for the maples' disposal.
How they shuddered in blasts twisting twiney branches.
Not me.

Unbending form, buffeting invisible persistence,
would slow walk straight into rough gales,
with chugging arms' exaggerated thrusts.
I’d scream louder, a defiant storm in my own right,
mightily slicing waves with ample form.

Puddles divided, resected, circled back
to reform, receive minuscule, rainy offerings
in my observations in youth.
Rain gear, like an observatory, made it
all so distant -- partitioned, yet adjoined.

A world I could overwhelm
in hooded apparition each morning,
with harrowing climaxes — yellow flashes
in dim light. Helpless, when these seasons
got the best of my joy, trudge home to her to confess,
I need a ride.


9.23/25.21
27 lines, free verse

I want to be more nostalgic, in this way…but it hurt. Every time I have a negative experience, I want to quit…until I can forget. But then, repetition makes/helps me remember. Life can be a bit much. I just have to remember (to a point, and then quit thinking).



Our loved ones can be the cruelest, without realizing.
September 23, 2021 at 2:44pm
September 23, 2021 at 2:44pm
#1017930
a pale blue dot, an image from a voyage
long ago -- in your galaxy caught
departing a planetary neighborhood.
from its fringes, I note where you are.

one last look, my home planet.
you could be a billion light years away.
from this vantage, on my ecliptic plane,
a portrait of a fading world captured --

caught in the center of scattered light.
deflection, I suppose, from bright reduction.
a tiny point of light, if you strain to see.

home, with everyone you love,
everyone you know, everyone you've heard of --
every human who ever was lived out their lives
where you are --

the aggregate of joy and suffering,
thousands of confident religions,
ideologies, and economic doctrines --

every hunter and forager, every hero and coward,
all creators and destroyers of civilization,
king and peasant, every young couple in love,

every mother and father, hopeful child,
inventor and explorer, every teacher,
corrupt politician, superstar, supreme leader,
saint and sinner and followers --

the history of a species lived there --
on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.
a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena,

challenged
by a point of pale light,
in the great, enveloping, cosmic dark.

In obscurity, in all vastness, no hint
help will come from elsewhere
to spare pale blue insignificance.

this dot spins on axis, fixedly,
as if waiting for some deity
come down from invisible heavens.

a tiny world floating on the perimeter,
daring near the center of all creation,
functioning to give purpose to anyone
who shall pass, miss one so minuscule

as a pale blue dot.


43 lines
9.23.21
last two lines hidden because I added for contest and feel foolish now.

borrowing a reference and book title from Carl Sagan about beliefs of the existence of God
and what man could do to better himself, make this a better place for all who struggle.

if it still speaks to me long after I write it, it must be so.


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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/blog/ripglaedr3/day/9-23-2021