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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/blog/ripglaedr3/day/9-29-2022
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Rated: 18+ · Book · Spiritual · #1149750
10k views, 2x BestPoetryCollection. A nothing from nowhere cast words to a world wide wind
I’m disabled by more than blindness.

Writing: Like one of those adventure games where you go off questing in different directions but you don’t advance in life. Pretty medallions sought for words/my soul, a slow burn now. Life is full of misdirects right back to the start, you still quest with a thirst.

If they take time to notice, must be doing something right. Life of turmoil produces stuff like this. Not going to call it beautiful agony…it gets a bit uglier. Minced words too pungent.

scripturam in hoc non mutamus, quia stultus es et differentiam nescies.

hic honor, quem accepistis, non est operae pretium, sicut non est bonum.
*BigSmile*
si hoc legere potes, gratiarum actio pro tempore.

The beautiful mess you made.
         |
Without knowledge, who’s to judge?
         |
No gavel; no voice.

I had a lover's quarrel with the world - Robert Frost

         |
I'm sorry you got caught in the middle. - me

*Neurodivergent poet.
*I yearn to love without that fart in the room.
*Honesty without mincing words.
*Stay clear of those surrounded by rules.
*Real dialogue accepted.

Diagnosed with new disabilities in 2020: On the spectrum/ADHD (it gets complicated by PTSD and brain trauma). Been suggested by doctors I might want another brain scan. As it is: My words collect, arrange on a kaleidoscope spectrum. The true experience/acknowledgment of my writing yet to come...long after I’ve left WDC, am dead, or both?

Truly been a blessing, but I've been pushing it — envelope, push world and all inhabitants away, push buttons, find boundaries, no clue why, where I've lived in your dark. Now and then, push dirt out of this hole; someone/thing/entity might envision me the way I need to be viewed (if I knew what that was. Cryptic, I know. Try living in my dark, find comfort amid the strange, virtual walls that tempt me to try).
*The parenthetical ‘lawyer up’?



Foot free, I’m all over the place.
 
"Note: Poetry: life’s little interruptions amassing int..."
 

Best Poetry Collection 2X, nominated three years. What does it mean? I was enjoying myself, head bagged. A happy idiot. Something messed with that. I won’t be a coward; not starting feuds or wars over ideals and beliefs. We all know that’s a pile of crap packaged with dreams of pretty things to sell t the next boob that walks by. *Clown*

Been more than I could imagine or expect. My achievements aren’t going on a LinkedIn wall. I dig deeper than I should, push boundaries. Aimless words, brave or veiled cowardice, flinchingly flung, inadvertently hit targets. Get a ‘back off’ shoulder shot when asking your motivations to write.

No prize to eye; not incentivized. Dealt the worst two cards before the flop, do the best with what you got.



My Pluggers:
You are an icon here.*BigSmile*
You suffer, but you suffer brilliantly. Wow, what a great writer.{/blue}*Heart*


It’s like plugging myself, but using other people’s (reviewers) words…Review of "Epigram ‘n Aphorism Samwiches"
Your poetic muse is on fire! *Fire* Some great emotion, well-balance(d), lovely lyrical qualities -- even the ones that were written out of sadness or anger came through in a clever cadence…It's obvious you've put a lot of work into each entry and the totality of the blog has eye appeal. *Cool*

 
Published four times with one a literary journal, including… *PointRight*   "The Tender Core (Sedona)
I don’t submit because it’s too much work. Truly alone, know no one cares to show they believe/support me. Lip service feeds delusion. I’ve seen a lot of smoldering and snow. Try not be cynical, work hard at openness and consideration — work, sooo…gut thing.

*Toilet* *RibbonW* Merit Badge in Taboo Words
[Click For More Info]

Brian,

Congratulations! You won 1st Place in Taboo Words with your fantastic poem, [Link to Book Entry #1027659]. 

I absolutely loved this! *^*Heart*^*

Rachel Merit Badge in Poetry
[Click For More Info]

    Thanks you for supporting the  [Link To Item #power]  with an order to the  [Link To Item #powergifts] ! We appreciate it. *^*Heartv*^* Keep writing the beautiful poetry. [Link to Book Entry #1027659] is an awesome poem! *^*Starv*^* ~Lornda

 
Love my process constructing and sharing visions in words collected (no small task considering personal and physical limitations, see below).


August 28, 2006 this blog opened

BOOK
SuperNova Afterglow: End Of Days  (18+)
All that remains: here in my afterlife as a 'mainstream' blogger, with what little I know.
#1300042 by Lorem Ipsum, Perhaps?


No specific aim going forward (2014)

 
What I used to say: 'Maybe, I just don't get it. Watch me fumble with my version of reality, expose ignorance as truth. You don't have to get me, either. But, wish someone would explain me to myself.' Now I say: *Cool* *FacePalm* Now: I was such a whore.
 


*Laugh*This is old….
What? Oh, this? A rhetorical, self-motivational speech I'm working on.
Don't just read the parts to construct your theory, as if to confirm (construed out of context) your opinion, mentally-stunted Neanderthal. Therapist wants me to be less negative toward myself. I see it as attacking, rather than being defensive. Fear I will chomp too many bullets unintentionally sent toward the unsuspecting.
If you can be triggered for stupid reasons, then I?
…just looked like me rolling around on the floor with myself.*RollEyes*
             



What Was NEW

Who am I, you ask? My mirror knows that question, repeated daily.

Just trying to create a little buzz, not boost my ego.

#amwriting #poetry #blog #contest #freeverse #award #bestpoetry #freyaridings #lyrics #music #video #YouTube

Can you believe it took this long for someone to put a quarter in me and push the button GET ANGRY?
 

Mud 4 My Eye: Is that you, Poo? 💩 Secret Back Door

The Best Poetry Collection on Writing.Com
September 29, 2022 at 10:21pm
September 29, 2022 at 10:21pm
#1038352
…at any given moment…

The medication will kick in shortly now…mindfulness, don’t
forget…it’s a tireless treadmill we’re on…the sky is a maw
swallowing colors…if you look to the East…log on…don’t forget
to pick up…what’s so funny?…your meds…waiting…laughing boy…
is a tireless treadmill…with waves higher than the Empire State Building…
hey, there…get in the fox hole!….Arrrggghhhh!!!…tireless…waiting…
are you listening?…look to the North…polar ice caps melt…
did you take your meds today???…wait, what time am I supposed
to be there?…mail, did you get the mail?…tireless…treading…hear…
what I…just said?helloooo…meds?…super position…echoing…
repeating…new location…same…in the South…hurricane surge
is ripping into the coastal region…area…no, region…correct!…
your prescription is ready for pickup…Ding! Ding! Ding!…
did you get all of that?…your Zoom conference begins in
four minutes…take cover! Hide!!…it’s okay, honey, I’m here
now
…incipient..void…why did he walk two miles in the dark?…
         don’t leave me here!…looking to the West…
does auntie know you left?
…the horizon peaks like
the plumage of an atom bomb blast…nu-nu-nuclear Winter…he’s
running a fever…discontent..of…I ate all the cherry pills…
freezing…tireless treadmill…woozy…catching a train on the fly…
haul it in the yard…he’s coming to!…America Wins The War?…
concentrate…only a minute left…Just need that billing address…
perfect…what? what’s perfect?….I remember you and you…but, I
wasn’t there?…don’t hang up…lines crossed…treadmill 0:00…yes,
         I’m here now
…how are you doing?…loaded gun…question…hope
I didn’t keep you waiting…ground zero…I’m fine…namaste.

Just luggin’ that big ole brain like a gun, hey son?…If I die
before I’m born…here, burn the manuscript…postscript…re…
re…that’s supposed to go first…can’t kill what’s already dead.



9.29.22
30 lines … to here … *Smirk*

can’t { justify} … oops!
got left out — Maa-omm!!

running it all back between two atoms
human formatting can be a bitch
keeps you up to 2 am when you gotta be to work by 5

still aiming for a bullseye, when it gets dark
fling the arrow
let’s go home

when did the ‘po-em’ end? begin??
it’s always running


40 lines … to here
Free verse

P.s. for real now:
This is the stuff I wanted to write, experiment with, (still do) when I was discouraged by my writing instructor, who would go on to be a poet laureate and have a poetry prize named in her honor.
I know about all the don’t listen to critics stuff, now. I was young and hung on every word of feedback I could get. It’s what jams my gun, sometimes.
Words could be weapons
I could be using them wrong
How am I to know the difference, then?
Than?
No, then.
Correct!
September 29, 2022 at 8:21pm
September 29, 2022 at 8:21pm
#1038343
Heaves words like logs into a fire
Feels the warmth, hears a crackle
Smell piney, smoldering ash
stoked, glowing
yellow, red, blue, orange
chilling, retiring
gray and black, hissing
at the last of a drink flung

Scoop the remainder up again
start fresh tomorrow
Drawn into lungs
under stars glimpsed
Such a dreamer

Burn through so much wood
bountiful, wonderful, burnable wood
sectioned, split and stacked

Pull up a camp chair and join in



9.29.22

I really write for me. Contests, etc. do little lately to fuel me. Not that I don’t try.
Have to heft that wood to get it going.


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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/blog/ripglaedr3/day/9-29-2022