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 |    10k views, 2x BestPoetryCollection. A nothing from nowhere cast words to a world wide wind |
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I’m disabled by more than blindness. Writing: Like one of those adventure games where you go off questing in different directions but you don’t advance in life. Pretty medallions sought for words/my soul, slow burnt. Full of misdirects, right back at the start, but still quest with thirst. Life of turmoil produces stuff like this. Not going to call it beautiful agony…it gets a bit uglier. Minced words too pungent. If they take time to notice, must be doing something right. scripturam in hoc non mutamus, quia stultus es et differentiam nescies. (hic) The beautiful mess you made: I had a lover's quarrel with the world - Robert Frost | I'm sorry you got caught in the middle. - me Neurodivergent poet seeks love without that fart in the room between us. Honesty without mincing words has come with a price for those juggling the hot my takes on what’s ‘truth’ (here’s some oven mitts). Best to stay clear of those surrounded by moat rules. Real dialogue is accepted. Wasn’t as open at first about recent diagnosis on spectrum with ADHD (complicated by PTSD, life of brain traumas). Been suggested by doctors of late I might want another brain scan (since 12/4/17…blogged). This poet’s words collect, arrange on a kaleidoscope spectrum. The experience of discovery through writing is the truest reward that has allowed me to grow and learn who/what I am — what other people get naturally, immediately, while I stomp around in it. Been blessed, but pushing it — envelope, world and all inhabitants away. Push buttons, find boundaries to trip traps. No clue why cat curiosity, living in your dark. (Bored, perhaps?) Now and then, push dirt out of this hole; someone/thing/entity might envision me how I need to be viewed (if I knew what that was). Cryptic, yes. Try living in my dark, find comfort amid strange, virtual, wonderful walls that tower above, tempt me to scale. Been more than I could imagine or expect here. But, achievements aren’t going on a LinkedIn wall  . I dig deeper than I should, often without forethought. Aimless words, brave or veiled cowardice, flinchingly flung, inadvertently hit targets? Get a ‘back off’ shoulder shot when asking your motivations here. Not fair?No prize to eye; not incentivized. Dealt the worst two cards before the flop, do best with what’s in hand. My Pluggers: You are an icon here.  You suffer, but you suffer brilliantly. Wow, what a great writer.  It’s like plugging myself, but using other people’s (reviewers) words…Review of "Poetic Referendum(s) On Life"  Your poetic muse is on fire!  Some great emotion, well-balance(d), lovely lyrical qualities -- even the ones that were written out of sadness or anger came through in a clever cadence…It's obvious you've put a lot of work into each entry and the totality of the blog has eye appeal.  Published four times with one a literary journal, including…  "The Tender Core (Sedona)"  I don’t submit because it’s too much work. Truly alone, know no one cares to show they believe/support me. Lip service feeds delusion. I’ve seen a lot of smoldering and snow. Try not be cynical, work hard at openness and consideration — work, sooo…gut thing.   ![Merit Badge in Taboo Words
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Brian,
Congratulations! You won 1st Place in Taboo Words with your fantastic poem, [Link to Book Entry #1027659].
I absolutely loved this! *^*Heart*^*
Rachel](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Taboo_Words-2139481_13.gif) ![Merit Badge in Poetry
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Thanks you for supporting the [Link To Item #power] with an order to the [Link To Item #powergifts] ! We appreciate it. *^*Heartv*^* Keep writing the beautiful poetry. [Link to Book Entry #1027659] is an awesome poem! *^*Starv*^* ~Lornda](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/type-Poetry-2180.gif)  August 28, 2006 this blog opened ▼
No specific aim going forward (2014) ▼  Now: I was such a whore.  This is old….What? Oh, this? A rhetorical, self-motivational speech I'm working on. Don't just read the parts to construct your theory, as if to confirm (construed out of context) your opinion, mentally-stunted Neanderthal. Therapist wants me to be less negative toward myself. I see it as attacking, rather than being defensive. Fear I will chomp too many bullets unintentionally sent toward the unsuspecting. If you can be triggered for stupid reasons, then I? …just looked like me rolling around on the floor with myself.    What Was NEW Who am I, you ask? My mirror knows that question, repeated daily. Just trying to create a little buzz, not boost my ego.  #amwriting #poetry #blog #contest #freeverse #award #bestpoetry #freyaridings #lyrics #music #video #YouTube Can you believe it took this long for someone to put a quarter in me and push the button GET ANGRY? Mud 4 My Eye:  Is that you, Poo? 💩 Secret Back Door ▼ |
| Your Philosophy, Not Mine (Sequestered Bastard Child) The whole world filled With suckers looking for something to follow Here I am at your doorstep Basket-baby rejected By ones who could not raise Who would not rear me Let me stray into your philosophy Pleading now, tell me What's wrong, what's right Why do I bear such shame In this helpless plight? But you take me in Your odd duckling who follows Deep into night Sure I belong to help Carry on your fight The whole world full Of suckers like me Who live by your rules Sometimes recanted philosophy Doesn't fit everyone But especially a loner like I Who would dare at your table Ask questions, looking in your eye I've been alone Always alone in your sequestering room Divided but what you believe And what I think is right The walls come down soon In the dead of night But it will be you who Lays down, won't fight Because you're sick of your creation Who fears you will fright Am I real if I pale from guilt The imposed shame I carry Because I'm a sucker, Your bastard child alone In the sequestering room, divided? |
| Eviscerating the ignorant. Now that would be a job. And other things I would tweet if I could Put the phone down? Restless with a streaming social media portal begging I give up my secrets but no one will witness. Thanks for the like mom. I can be awkward. So, the anonymous route or fake profile to say what you mean? We’ve all been bullied, so don’t open your mind...just tweet. I’m not here for branders, influencers or motivational speakers...although, they like back, like you first, but usually unfollow as their base of dead accounts reaches a million. One million fake or dead followers? I can speak to an audience like that. Role I’ve been born to play. I’m the guy muttering words to himself in public lately. Sing to myself in cars. I tuned out most of you so I can hear myself. This stream of consciousness is why I’m alone. |
| Wrote so many beautiful poems tonight in my head but would not reach night stand to jot down...preferring sleep. But, it’s 3 a.m., so this drivel... On Ricky Gervais: Now Streaming... Truth is refreshing Truth is fleeting We live in fantasy Dream like Hollywood Always believing If we mean well With no actions, Just words Our invisible tapestry of rhetoric Cannot tear If no one can find a thread to pull You yanked We could feel it The soft underbelly Of fleeting actors Holding glued costumes and Hypocrisy. We knew Here’s a man undeterred Who should fear Undeterred, has balls Truth is out there Woven thin, invisible to nude eyes We believe in it Sometimes touch But too fragile Don’t handle it like you It cannot be grasped By the likes of us and Will we hear from you again? Did you know you built A right platform For liberals hanging? When do the executioners come? It’s Hollywood With enough time and money They’ll write a happy ending You had a role in it Now cue Tom Hanks To play you in the lead role Soon streaming on ISIS. Shared later on our Writing.Com newsfeed: “Let pens be sabers like your sharp tongue, tweeted to Ricky Gervais tonight. I took up a blade: "Drivel: Gervais/I’ll never be famous" Sabers. Is that ASR or 13+? Can’t let these word weapons be tools in the hands of our babes.” ripglaedr3@writing.com |
On The Face Of It (Formerly: Take My Medicine) There's a partially dissolved antacid, lodged in jumbled interstices, silhouetted amid pale blue-black. Just one roaming, glowing eye, atrophied by glaucoma, peering at me through misty glass. Gloom on old man, I'm not moving from my table while you haunt these last hours. I'll climb into the cold bed with that woman when I'm ready. The gold eminence of a streetlight below, while purer, is not truer. Like the tides, I obey. I know you are reflecting the passing day, so I will not forget. I pen these words to my bitter pill instead. In just a few minutes, your full face is clean shaven, taking a higher position to keennly watch over me. I crane back and find three offspring descending from you in glass, each grows duller than its preceding brother. I don't know what to make of this. The window refracts your reflected light. My portal closed, til again. I post it here, I post it there. I post it in my underwear. |
| Universally, people are dehumanized, forced prove they belong with this race -- alone, cut off, as the divide widens. Individuals, who could form a fabric, poorly woven, become worn, less resilient. |
| I'll write you sonnets, if you witness Vacuous, hollow words contained Restrained by structure Ever toiling to find meaning Or Run amok in a field of words Harvesting life's little treasures Unkempt, sprawling, falling out Of pants pockets before I shove In your tall glass with my water |
| If there's one thing I know a thing or two about, it's mind games. More specifically demoralization and humiliation of opponents. When I was young, I was learning to play. I might have yelled unfair to the kids who dominated the games. You don't challenge the likes of them or you don't get to play. You might get labeled or bullied. They can get other friends to accost you, beat you up where parents don't see. They might utter vague or knowable profanities at you, spit on you. These small people feel justified, even hate. It's horrible what they got away with. Meanwhile, someone who could mature emotionally regresses, acts out. Unable to solve their condition, pay it forward. The difference: they feel regret. But, because none of the original tormentors offered an olive branch, tuck it all inside where it does further damage. Children who were bullied and become bullies have no one to witness for them. They gladly take their punishment lifelong because they assume they deserve it. In fact, conditioned to it, are unaffected when the next sneering ego-maniac arrives. Must be confusing when I don't flinch. When I play the game now, wherever that may be. I don't seek pity, empathy, sympathy -- not even an 'official' to intercede. The rules of these games are unknowable, misinterpreted, reinterpreted. And the bullies ... surprise ... have more friends. I can only control what I do by being the most beautiful version of myself. It's joyous. I can imagine there is only one who knows what I've been through and where I'm going. I also enjoy celebrating the accomplishments of others, lifting them up wherever possible. I can relate experiences with others and realize who else was a troubled child. I can identify who still tries manipulate the game. I'm not trying to beat them at their little games with rules that benefit them and their friends. I already enjoy what I'm doing. What must be defeating is seeing fewer people want to side with a bully when there is one who plays their game without dying. The one thing my dad was surprised by (hard man to appease) was I never gave up or quit something I loved. And when others see what is in my heart, they turn away from these bully friends. I wouldn't dream of diminishing the bully's ranks. I just want people to do what is right. I am not evil. I am not out to hurt anyone. I'm ready with love. I'm willing to give...to something that wants to give back what I offer. This might contradict past positions I've taken throughout life. It's been a learning process. I can change or alter these beliefs at any time...just like the bullies are entitled to do. (Needs some editing, I know) |
| Sequestered I can see out the door of my room and down the corridor to look for the likes of you, as I am sequestered. I need only look out my window to view a charming village where I could go, should the likes of you inform I'm healed. I return to my bed, slither in white sheets The IV drips yellow concoction in my once black veins. Lovely nurses might distract with a visit, change the sheets, feed me, fluff an every-so-ready pillow. Why not ignore the halls and vistas seen, settle in and turn on the overhead tv? I have health insurance and the rest of my life. Even if I'm dying here, I realize nothing can hurt me anymore. Even if the white coats do not arrive, I have family who visit and see how comfortably I thrive, feel at home. No one has discharged me; many have tested my blood pressure, observed me perfectly fine -- even those unqualified. Did they correct my illness or do I mask the symptoms somehow? Here, the nurse comes, checks my pulse, takes other vitals. I imagine somewhere a doctor or two looks over these charts. Confused that I would take up residence here? The thing is, I am placating children playing their medicine game. Adorable to think what they are doing is real. I'm only too happy to play along. But, should I be worrying, for the other patients? Well, I'm sequestered anyway. How much harm? I'm the eye doctor. Is this better? |
Why? End of the third season go out like that Couldn’t leave us on high Why? Should it matter That I buy into scripted drama Just a touch of Romantic comedy to ease Sexual tension Why Buy in when I have drama of my own? Can’t script it, give it Satisfying outcomes Like yours, like you do Why Tease me, make me wait Until the next air date? Why Do I wait until then For hopeful lives begin again When Writers are abusers Of the sad and lonely Who Only want resolution -- Empty, unfulfilled Until the next Casting season? I shout at this toob Why?! |
| My wife today, "How can one person think of so much stuff." "Who me?" "Yeah," before I realized I'd been talking for over twenty minutes about the finer points on multiple topics. It reminded me of my mom when I showed her the poetry I had amassed as a teenager, 'Where do all these words come from?' Glad I found the internet where I can spill out, spill over because it seems my mind is an ever raging river...of words. Which reminds me of what my dad used to tell me, “think about what you say before you say it.” But, if I thought about what to say I would never open my mouth. |
This song is Explained as— “...it's you being different from everyone else, being looked down upon, and having no one who agrees with what you are doing. You look for help, theres no one there. Thinking of alternatives, all you can come up with is to continue to try. After a while, and much consideration, you start to doubt what you are, and what makes you individual. So all in all, it's about rejection of who you are and no one wanting anything to do with who you are, and what you do.” For others, music -- the experience: "Back in 2004.. I was just coming out of my shell. Met this sweet dude who chose to chill with me instead of going to a party. We played hacky sack.. badly. Listened to some of his original music.. talked... then he played this song for me. It was an amazing night. I fell asleep on his couch and he covered me with a blanket and went to bed. Never once tried to put any moves on me. I went home the next morning, called him for a date the following night. Fast forward almost 14 years, and we are married with three beautiful kids. Music can make some amazing things happen, when the moment is right. |
Me at your age You at my age Our story arcs different Yet the same Facing the unknowable With ignorant defiance For those who would hold back Our be-feathered arms Before the high cliffs where Without ever taking flight One single certified course We’re ready to soar Above the rocks Jagged, hurtful rocks That await disaster And the loving yet fearful Family with invisible strings Let us lift off Let delusion take hold As we piloted, assuming No needed navigator To chart a dream Chicken feathers is what we had A cardboard fuselage And windowless cockpit We saw dreamy vistas Believed we could go higher There were storms Some strong enough to down us In cornfields along highways Where we traveled alone Found our way back home Shared stories like We’d been to Oz Would one day see an emerald city But all it was...was Kansas Time is a journey you take With those dreams Alterable visions for future It’s filled with hope And promise But it takes preparedness And virtue To stay that unknowable course You earn your feathers in this life If you’re like me And I know you are And with each experience Where you fly and survive Out sprouts another feather Stronger arms A more purposed vision Dreams should always be On your horizon Just stop for fuel And don’t forget home Along your way. For Alex who reinspired me |
I'll write you sonnets, if you witness Vacuous, hollow words contained Restrained by structure Ever toiling to find meaning Or Run amok in a field of words Harvesting life's little treasures Unkempt, sprawling, falling out Of pants pockets before I shove In your tall glass with my water. See, Mommy, isn't it pretty? Agree? Fuck You! How does that make you feel?? I won't explain, you won't get it. 1.7.20 Making Public again. Embracing it now. |
| I have perfect, adjusted vision yet I'm legally blind, you see... Return of Idealism (Unbarred)? You know what I miss more than hope and Much less than ambition? Idealism And the notion you can achieve dreams So long as they align with Those who could stand in your way. You know what I could do without? Far less than carbs sticking to these ribs? Way more than corporations Tracking my every movement Through every 'smart' device? Social media What a tool -- clicked, liked Transparently forming self-actualization until Your crypto-world deemed Worthless. You know what I desire/like/miss (Check all that apply)? Simple Climbing trees for red, juicy, Mouthwatering harvest; nurturing Replenishing, sustaining life. Rebuild the legs, Restore the heart, Atrophy a mind plundered. Could you just be my friend? Reach for my hand across This unknowable abyss. See blue eyes gleam, not jaded; Full, reflecting -- a bridge Strong enough to hold both of us; If you trust, If your heart can be pure, again, If you will just dream like me. Who's the influencer now (yes/no)? We can pull away from that realm, Crumbling like molten rock Into the unknowable chasms Of a million helpless souls (No chance to swim across)? Restore Vision See It's a notion -- Compartmentalized thought Spilling over into the cubicles Of division implored we not bound, Ascend. -- The Categorized (from Dreamless Heart Still Swimming A Raging, Relentless Sea) Autobiography doesn't exist (dead link) And more things I'll think up for you to ignore, since I'm not going extinct like the 'Others' (First 'poem' of 2020) DEBATE ME! |
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— 21
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— 29![Merit Badge in Shadows and Light
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A huge congratulations, to you!
You have won a very deserved Honourable Mention in [Link To Item #shadows] , round 112 *^*Smile*^*
Rachel](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Shadows_and_Light-1936078_14.gif)
![Merit Badge in Shadows & Light II
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Brian,
Congratulations! You won 1st Place in [Link To Item #shadows] with your fantastic poem, [Link to Book Entry #1037176]. Fabulous writing!
Rachel](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Shadows_=38_Light_II-1936078_14.gif)
— 9
MAY 
37![Merit Badge in Coffee Award
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Congratulations on placing 2nd in [Link To Item #2182602] with your poem, [Link to Book Entry #1031722]. *^*Coffeeo*^* Kindest Regards, Lilli](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Coffee_Award-2149524_14.gif)
APRIL 
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Congratulations on the third place win at [Link To Item #hpc] for your poem: [Link to Book Entry #1030482]. Thanks for making me laugh, and keep writing the funny stuff! *^*Bigsmile*^* ~Lornda A.K.A. The Queen of Comedy *^*Crown*^*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Humorous_Poetry_Contest-1875103_14.gif)
MARCH 
![Merit Badge in Contests
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CONGRATULATIONS for winning 2nd place in [Link To Item #2254385] !!](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/genre-Contests-235.gif)
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Thank you for your participation in the 48-HOUR CHALLENGE: " Thank You by Dido ." Media Prompt hosted by [Link To User support] March 2022! We appreciate that you tackled this challenge... *^*Smile*^* *^*Thumbsupl*^*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/WDC-WDC_Media_Prompt.gif)
![Merit Badge in Good Things Take Time
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Here's to a world where we wouldn't have to keep reciting the words woven in your excellent poem [Link to Book Entry #1027990].](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/Kudos-Good_Things_Take_Time.gif)
![Merit Badge in Gay Lesbian
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Thank you so much for your poem [Link to Book Entry #1026670]! Please don’t ever stop being you, both as a writer and a visionary of love!](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/genre-Gay_Lesbian-680.gif)
JANUARY 
18
![Merit Badge in Quill Award
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Congratulations on winning Best Medium-Length Poem, Free Verse in the 2021 edition of The Quills!](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Quill_Award-1375927_6.gif)
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Thank you for your generous donation to [Link To Item #quillhome] ! *^*Quill*^* Every donation is used to celebrate WdC while recognizing quality work and acknowledging community involvement. Kindest Regards, Lilli](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Quill_Sponsor-1375927_6.gif)
![Merit Badge in Quotation Inspiration
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Congratulations on winning 1st Place in the September 2022 round of [Link To Item #quotation] !](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/WDC-Quotation_Inspiration.gif)
![Merit Badge in Artistic
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Congratulations on winning day 6 of The Daily Poem Sept 2022!](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/genre-Artistic-125.gif)
![Merit Badge in Problem Solving
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From [Link To User jayne] : With my apologies for the Redaction Poem prompt mishap. Thank you for taking on the challenge! I hope to see you next time for a redaction-free week of fun at [Link To Item #dailypoem] !](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/general-Problem_Solving-210.gif)
![Merit Badge in Inspiring Love For Poetry
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Congratulations on being our Honorable Mention in March of 2022 at [Link To Item #2216416] !
Blessings, Sharmelle](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Inspiring_Love_For_Poetry-2259846_14.gif)
![Merit Badge in Action Adventure
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CONGRATULATIONS for [Link To Item #2229211] winning place as an Honourable Mention in [Link To Item #2254385] !](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/genre-Action_Adventure-100.gif)
![Merit Badge in Bard's Hall Blogging Merit Badge
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For placing 3rd in the Bard's Hall Blogging Contest, June 2022](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Bard=s_Hall_Blogging_Merit_Badge-2094227_12.gif){kind=icon}
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Congratulations for winning 1st Place during the April 2022 round of [Link To Item #2268646] !](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-G_Specials-2271325_14.gif)
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Congratulations on your 1st Place win in the April 2022 Round of Chapter One! Great entry! *^*Smile*^*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Chapter_1-2251918_14.gif)
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Congratulations to our 1st Runner Up of [Link To Item #2254385] Round6.](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/general-Accuracy.gif)
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Congrats Team Pedantic Poets Platoon on winning [Link To Item #1803384] during WDC's 21st Birthday Festivities!! Well done!](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-30DBC_Winner-2064535_14.gif)
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A work of art which did not begin in emotion is not art.
― Paul Cezanne
Thanks for your participation in my 'art' challenge via my notebook feed.
Keep on being inspired! *^*Bigsmile*^*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/Kudos-Every_Moment_Matters.gif)
![Merit Badge in Brilliant
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CONGRATULATIONS on [Link To Item #1145690] winning a place in "Honorable Mentions" in [Link To Item #2254385]](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/Kudos-Brilliant.gif)
Thank you for sharing it! It's genius.