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(117)
Rated: 18+ · Book · Spiritual · #1149750
10k views, 2x BestPoetryCollection. A nothing from nowhere cast words to a world wide wind
I’m disabled by more than blindness.

Writing: Like one of those adventure games where you go off questing in different directions but you don’t advance in life. Pretty medallions sought for words/my soul, slow burnt. Full of misdirects, right back at the start, but still quest with thirst.

Life of turmoil produces stuff like this. Not going to call it beautiful agony…it gets a bit uglier. Minced words too pungent. If they take time to notice, must be doing something right.

scripturam in hoc non mutamus, quia stultus es et differentiam nescies.

(hic)

The beautiful mess you made:
I had a lover's quarrel with the world - Robert Frost

         |
I'm sorry you got caught in the middle. - me

Neurodivergent poet seeks love without that fart in the room between us. Honesty without mincing words has come with a price for those juggling the hot my takes on what’s ‘truth’ (here’s some oven mitts). Best to stay clear of those surrounded by moat rules.

Real dialogue is accepted.

Wasn’t as open at first about recent diagnosis on spectrum with ADHD (complicated by PTSD, life of brain traumas). Been suggested by doctors of late I might want another brain scan (since 12/4/17…blogged).

This poet’s words collect, arrange on a kaleidoscope spectrum. The experience of discovery through writing is the truest reward that has allowed me to grow and learn who/what I am — what other people get naturally, immediately, while I stomp around in it.

Been blessed, but pushing it — envelope, world and all inhabitants away. Push buttons, find boundaries to trip traps. No clue why cat curiosity, living in your dark. (Bored, perhaps?)

Now and then, push dirt out of this hole; someone/thing/entity might envision me how I need to be viewed (if I knew what that was). Cryptic, yes. Try living in my dark, find comfort amid strange, virtual, wonderful walls that tower above, tempt me to scale.

Been more than I could imagine or expect here. But, achievements aren’t going on a LinkedIn wall *Think*. I dig deeper than I should, often without forethought. Aimless words, brave or veiled cowardice, flinchingly flung, inadvertently hit targets? Get a ‘back off’ shoulder shot when asking your motivations here. Not fair?

No prize to eye; not incentivized. Dealt the worst two cards before the flop, do best with what’s in hand.



My Pluggers:
You are an icon here.*BigSmile*
You suffer, but you suffer brilliantly. Wow, what a great writer.*Heart*


It’s like plugging myself, but using other people’s (reviewers) words…Review of "Poetic Referendum(s) On Life"
Your poetic muse is on fire! *Fire* Some great emotion, well-balance(d), lovely lyrical qualities -- even the ones that were written out of sadness or anger came through in a clever cadence…It's obvious you've put a lot of work into each entry and the totality of the blog has eye appeal. *Cool*

 
Published four times with one a literary journal, including… *PointRight*   "The Tender Core (Sedona)
I don’t submit because it’s too much work. Truly alone, know no one cares to show they believe/support me. Lip service feeds delusion. I’ve seen a lot of smoldering and snow. Try not be cynical, work hard at openness and consideration — work, sooo…gut thing.

*Toilet* *RibbonW* Merit Badge in Taboo Words
[Click For More Info]

Brian,

Congratulations! You won 1st Place in Taboo Words with your fantastic poem, [Link to Book Entry #1027659]. 

I absolutely loved this! *^*Heart*^*

Rachel Merit Badge in Poetry
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    Thanks you for supporting the  [Link To Item #power]  with an order to the  [Link To Item #powergifts] ! We appreciate it. *^*Heartv*^* Keep writing the beautiful poetry. [Link to Book Entry #1027659] is an awesome poem! *^*Starv*^* ~Lornda

 
Love my process constructing and sharing visions in words collected (no small task considering personal and physical limitations, see below).


August 28, 2006 this blog opened

BOOK
SuperNova Afterglow: End Of Days  (18+)
All that remains: here in my afterlife as a 'mainstream' blogger, with what little I know.
#1300042 by Brian K Cognitive Dissonance


No specific aim going forward (2014)

 
What I used to say: 'Maybe, I just don't get it. Watch me fumble with my version of reality, expose ignorance as truth. You don't have to get me, either. But, wish someone would explain me to myself.' Now I say: *Cool* *FacePalm* Now: I was such a whore.
 


*Laugh*This is old….
What? Oh, this? A rhetorical, self-motivational speech I'm working on.
Don't just read the parts to construct your theory, as if to confirm (construed out of context) your opinion, mentally-stunted Neanderthal. Therapist wants me to be less negative toward myself. I see it as attacking, rather than being defensive. Fear I will chomp too many bullets unintentionally sent toward the unsuspecting.
If you can be triggered for stupid reasons, then I?
…just looked like me rolling around on the floor with myself.*RollEyes*
             



What Was NEW

Who am I, you ask? My mirror knows that question, repeated daily.

Just trying to create a little buzz, not boost my ego.

#amwriting #poetry #blog #contest #freeverse #award #bestpoetry #freyaridings #lyrics #music #video #YouTube

Can you believe it took this long for someone to put a quarter in me and push the button GET ANGRY?
 

Mud 4 My Eye: Is that you, Poo? 💩 Secret Back Door

The Best Poetry Collection on Writing.Com
October 20, 2022 at 7:20pm
October 20, 2022 at 7:20pm
#1039483
Merit Badge in Quill Award 2
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Congratulations! 2022 Quill Award Winner - Best in Genre: Family *^*Trophyg*^*  [Link To Item #2283722]
Sugar For A Black Cup

Wish I could I have held my babes longer,
sweeter,
now that I know.

Wish I could act out a character —
rapt,
their eyes mine,
making them plead longer,
later,

when I couldn’t say
no.

Whispered nights lingered
so long,
falling under my own spell
in a short, tight bed —
waking to that pure physiognomy
dim/lit.

Dreams glowed outside.
I peered perfect
candy lands, laughing
in our leafy canopies chase —
hid in white pajamas,
stranded on gold isles
amid brave, majestic mounts.

My snow globe shook
seasonal melody.

Years scaled me down —
no stealth,
harnesses or gear.

I stared into a black cup
one morning,
shadow on my back
sweetly waited.
A familiar face
offered arms, the momentary gift
to feel whole.

Wish I had kissed that soft cheek.
Wish I held longer.

One of us can touch clouds,
taste brewing rain,
see color in greater dimension.

Don’t want to escape/lose,
but relive, memories
of surly pirates with sugary swords —
never to get a belly ache.


10.20.22 44 lines, free verse
Sometimes, we move one another after initial inspiration. Thanks

Quill Nominee Signature 2022Quill Finalist Logo 2022 Merit Badge in Quill Award 2
[Click For More Info]

Congratulations! 2022 Quill Award Winner - Best in Genre: Family *^*Trophyg*^*  [Link To Item #2283722]


Original: Dreams Realized In A Hug

Wish I could I have held my babes longer
sweeter
now that I know

wish I could act out a character
when rapt
their eyes mine
making them plead longer
later
when I couldn’t say no

those nights I lingered
so long
fell asleep in a short bed
woke to those sweet faces
dim/lit

those dreams glowed on the outside
I peered in:
perfection
candy lands
we’d chase, laugh
hide in a welcoming forest
in white pajamas
stranded together on our isle
brave explorers
camped on highest Everest
a snow globe shaken
for seasonal melodies

years it took
scaled me down
stealth
no harnesses or gear
and stared into a black cup
early one morning

the sweetest, youngest
hugged me
a gift to momentarily feel
whole

wish I could kiss that soft cheek
wish I could hold on longer

I think one of us can touch clouds
taste brewing rain
see color in greater dimensions
I don’t want to escape this
but relive memories
as surly pirates with sugary swords
dream we never get a belly ache



10.20.22
45 lines, free verse


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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/blog/ripglaedr3/day/10-20-2022