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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/blog/ripglaedr3/day/10-22-2022
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(117)
Rated: 18+ · Book · Spiritual · #1149750
10k views, 2x BestPoetryCollection. A nothing from nowhere cast words to a world wide wind
I’m disabled by more than blindness.

Writing: Like one of those adventure games where you go off questing in different directions but you don’t advance in life. Pretty medallions sought for words/my soul, slow burnt. Full of misdirects, right back at the start, but still quest with thirst.

Life of turmoil produces stuff like this. Not going to call it beautiful agony…it gets a bit uglier. Minced words too pungent. If they take time to notice, must be doing something right.

scripturam in hoc non mutamus, quia stultus es et differentiam nescies.

(hic)

The beautiful mess you made:
I had a lover's quarrel with the world - Robert Frost

         |
I'm sorry you got caught in the middle. - me

Neurodivergent poet seeks love without that fart in the room between us. Honesty without mincing words has come with a price for those juggling the hot my takes on what’s ‘truth’ (here’s some oven mitts). Best to stay clear of those surrounded by moat rules.

Real dialogue is accepted.

Wasn’t as open at first about recent diagnosis on spectrum with ADHD (complicated by PTSD, life of brain traumas). Been suggested by doctors of late I might want another brain scan (since 12/4/17…blogged).

This poet’s words collect, arrange on a kaleidoscope spectrum. The experience of discovery through writing is the truest reward that has allowed me to grow and learn who/what I am — what other people get naturally, immediately, while I stomp around in it.

Been blessed, but pushing it — envelope, world and all inhabitants away. Push buttons, find boundaries to trip traps. No clue why cat curiosity, living in your dark. (Bored, perhaps?)

Now and then, push dirt out of this hole; someone/thing/entity might envision me how I need to be viewed (if I knew what that was). Cryptic, yes. Try living in my dark, find comfort amid strange, virtual, wonderful walls that tower above, tempt me to scale.

Been more than I could imagine or expect here. But, achievements aren’t going on a LinkedIn wall *Think*. I dig deeper than I should, often without forethought. Aimless words, brave or veiled cowardice, flinchingly flung, inadvertently hit targets? Get a ‘back off’ shoulder shot when asking your motivations here. Not fair?

No prize to eye; not incentivized. Dealt the worst two cards before the flop, do best with what’s in hand.



My Pluggers:
You are an icon here.*BigSmile*
You suffer, but you suffer brilliantly. Wow, what a great writer.*Heart*


It’s like plugging myself, but using other people’s (reviewers) words…Review of "Poetic Referendum(s) On Life"
Your poetic muse is on fire! *Fire* Some great emotion, well-balance(d), lovely lyrical qualities -- even the ones that were written out of sadness or anger came through in a clever cadence…It's obvious you've put a lot of work into each entry and the totality of the blog has eye appeal. *Cool*

 
Published four times with one a literary journal, including… *PointRight*   "The Tender Core (Sedona)
I don’t submit because it’s too much work. Truly alone, know no one cares to show they believe/support me. Lip service feeds delusion. I’ve seen a lot of smoldering and snow. Try not be cynical, work hard at openness and consideration — work, sooo…gut thing.

*Toilet* *RibbonW* Merit Badge in Taboo Words
[Click For More Info]

Brian,

Congratulations! You won 1st Place in Taboo Words with your fantastic poem, [Link to Book Entry #1027659]. 

I absolutely loved this! *^*Heart*^*

Rachel Merit Badge in Poetry
[Click For More Info]

    Thanks you for supporting the  [Link To Item #power]  with an order to the  [Link To Item #powergifts] ! We appreciate it. *^*Heartv*^* Keep writing the beautiful poetry. [Link to Book Entry #1027659] is an awesome poem! *^*Starv*^* ~Lornda

 
Love my process constructing and sharing visions in words collected (no small task considering personal and physical limitations, see below).


August 28, 2006 this blog opened

BOOK
SuperNova Afterglow: End Of Days  (18+)
All that remains: here in my afterlife as a 'mainstream' blogger, with what little I know.
#1300042 by Brian K Cognitive Dissonance


No specific aim going forward (2014)

 
What I used to say: 'Maybe, I just don't get it. Watch me fumble with my version of reality, expose ignorance as truth. You don't have to get me, either. But, wish someone would explain me to myself.' Now I say: *Cool* *FacePalm* Now: I was such a whore.
 


*Laugh*This is old….
What? Oh, this? A rhetorical, self-motivational speech I'm working on.
Don't just read the parts to construct your theory, as if to confirm (construed out of context) your opinion, mentally-stunted Neanderthal. Therapist wants me to be less negative toward myself. I see it as attacking, rather than being defensive. Fear I will chomp too many bullets unintentionally sent toward the unsuspecting.
If you can be triggered for stupid reasons, then I?
…just looked like me rolling around on the floor with myself.*RollEyes*
             



What Was NEW

Who am I, you ask? My mirror knows that question, repeated daily.

Just trying to create a little buzz, not boost my ego.

#amwriting #poetry #blog #contest #freeverse #award #bestpoetry #freyaridings #lyrics #music #video #YouTube

Can you believe it took this long for someone to put a quarter in me and push the button GET ANGRY?
 

Mud 4 My Eye: Is that you, Poo? 💩 Secret Back Door

The Best Poetry Collection on Writing.Com
October 22, 2022 at 8:44pm
October 22, 2022 at 8:44pm
#1039578
Epic Poem Weekend

Never have I loved or hated to hear my name
whether angry
BRIAN!
punches holes in a quiet landscape
chews scenery
or edging toward pleading
in lilting syllables
Bri-ann?
hovers over a compelled head

finger waggled
in extended syllables
gentle, identified my need for compliance
Briiii-aaaann
louder calling
the lost boy off in his woods
BRIII-AAANN!
sometimes melodious
but, when hide and seek tiresome
shorter, more commanding

off this chain
in my trees
sound of my name lifted,
emboldening
Brian!
it seeks a clearing
but can’t top those giants
Brian!!
relocated by angles
from cupped mouth toward other horizons
it lost direction over time
left me behind
in deeper brush,
fading, b r i a…

anyway spoken
Brian pings and echoes
ricochets off stone walls
flat spun over open water
dull,
it dove down

But, I always came home
even if late, dark
love cooing, culled a coy boy to near
BrIaNNnn.
I’d done something good?
felt it in a sweet tooth

then her,
the one
who located a lonesome lad
name lingered on wetted lips
whispered
in dark strung wire

lustful cat eyes spied
warmth of a tender mate
purred breathy
Brrhien

she crept up from behind
tender hand, and arm
slid up back and over shoulder
nuzzled an eager ear

raspy heat
again, more loving
BhrrIann


until
winter-beaded water
on frozen pane lingered
on tongue of a child

haunted
craving my name
with her hunger —

an ordinary name
given to an average boy
dreaming impossible fantasy
before reality
questioned if I’m near…

Brian?
You’re next


a life arrived in his latex hands
warmest arrival
awake inside her dream of a boy
before it broke

one lifetime to live
reverberations
to love or hate salutation
and return one day
unwanted to ground —
not a womb —
with name in stone
silenced, spelled correct
slid beneath silvery surface

echo forever
in your muffled scene —
Brian
in black void
five letters,
three consonants,
two vowels
permanently savored from lips to ears

Brian?
yeah,
that’s my name

you wore it out.


10.22.22

Part of the two syllable set. Sorry to the James and Johns of the world.
My mom called me Brian, chastised anyone who’d shorten it, nickname me otherwise.
No moniker ever stuck.

Add: Lots of other ways to describe the various ways Brian can be emphasized by tone, inflection, clarity, or vocal range…


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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/blog/ripglaedr3/day/10-22-2022