10k views, 2x BestPoetryCollection. A nothing from nowhere cast words to a world wide wind |
I’m disabled by more than blindness. Writing: Like one of those adventure games where you go off questing in different directions but you don’t advance in life. Pretty medallions sought for words/my soul, a slow burn now. Life is full of misdirects right back to the start, you still quest with a thirst. If they take time to notice, must be doing something right. Life of turmoil produces stuff like this. Not going to call it beautiful agony…it gets a bit uglier. Minced words too pungent. scripturam in hoc non mutamus, quia stultus es et differentiam nescies. hic honor, quem accepistis, non est operae pretium, sicut non est bonum. si hoc legere potes, gratiarum actio pro tempore. The beautiful mess you made. | Without knowledge, who’s to judge? | No gavel; no voice. I had a lover's quarrel with the world - Robert Frost | I'm sorry you got caught in the middle. - me *Neurodivergent poet. *I yearn to love without that fart in the room. *Honesty without mincing words. *Stay clear of those surrounded by rules. *Real dialogue accepted. Diagnosed with new disabilities in 2020: On the spectrum/ADHD (it gets complicated by PTSD and brain trauma). Been suggested by doctors I might want another brain scan. As it is: My words collect, arrange on a kaleidoscope spectrum. The true experience/acknowledgment of my writing yet to come...long after I’ve left WDC, am dead, or both? Truly been a blessing, but I've been pushing it — envelope, push world and all inhabitants away, push buttons, find boundaries, no clue why, where I've lived in your dark. Now and then, push dirt out of this hole; someone/thing/entity might envision me the way I need to be viewed (if I knew what that was. Cryptic, I know. Try living in my dark, find comfort amid the strange, virtual walls that tempt me to try). *The parenthetical ‘lawyer up’? Foot free, I’m all over the place. Best Poetry Collection 2X, nominated three years. What does it mean? I was enjoying myself, head bagged. A happy idiot. Something messed with that. I won’t be a coward; not starting feuds or wars over ideals and beliefs. We all know that’s a pile of crap packaged with dreams of pretty things to sell t the next boob that walks by. Been more than I could imagine or expect. My achievements aren’t going on a LinkedIn wall. I dig deeper than I should, push boundaries. Aimless words, brave or veiled cowardice, flinchingly flung, inadvertently hit targets. Get a ‘back off’ shoulder shot when asking your motivations to write. No prize to eye; not incentivized. Dealt the worst two cards before the flop, do the best with what you got. My Pluggers: You are an icon here. You suffer, but you suffer brilliantly. Wow, what a great writer.{/blue} It’s like plugging myself, but using other people’s (reviewers) words…Review of "Epigram ‘n Aphorism Samwiches" Your poetic muse is on fire! Some great emotion, well-balance(d), lovely lyrical qualities -- even the ones that were written out of sadness or anger came through in a clever cadence…It's obvious you've put a lot of work into each entry and the totality of the blog has eye appeal. Published four times with one a literary journal, including… "The Tender Core (Sedona)" I don’t submit because it’s too much work. Truly alone, know no one cares to show they believe/support me. Lip service feeds delusion. I’ve seen a lot of smoldering and snow. Try not be cynical, work hard at openness and consideration — work, sooo…gut thing. August 28, 2006 this blog opened ▼
No specific aim going forward (2014) ▼ This is old…. What? Oh, this? A rhetorical, self-motivational speech I'm working on. Don't just read the parts to construct your theory, as if to confirm (construed out of context) your opinion, mentally-stunted Neanderthal. Therapist wants me to be less negative toward myself. I see it as attacking, rather than being defensive. Fear I will chomp too many bullets unintentionally sent toward the unsuspecting. If you can be triggered for stupid reasons, then I? …just looked like me rolling around on the floor with myself. What Was NEW Who am I, you ask? My mirror knows that question, repeated daily. Just trying to create a little buzz, not boost my ego. #amwriting #poetry #blog #contest #freeverse #award #bestpoetry #freyaridings #lyrics #music #video #YouTube Can you believe it took this long for someone to put a quarter in me and push the button GET ANGRY? Mud 4 My Eye: Is that you, Poo? 💩 Secret Back Door ▼ |
Saving Grace Is he your savior, your saving grace, as I witness and hear what you say and what you won’t speak but emote? You leaned on me when you needed me the most; but what I’m reading now is what serves you best now, and I know, he won’t hold the mantle for long. When it drops, your eyes will dart around the room trying, hoping not to find mine. 6.12.21 My ‘waiting in the wings’ is watching from the shadows |
There's just no other way. It struck me, while listening to another 'heart song', why words paired with music are more important, because they attempt to perfectly express how lovers hope to be understood when no action speaks louder than experienced hands on nylon strings perfectly playing sounds no voice could duplicate; but, with those fumbling, crafted words and the proper inflection and sweetest pitch, you could draw her eyes wide, open all avenues to the one garden you dream explore and be lonely nevermore. Isn't that the fairytale ending we sentimentally dream? to freeze on the perfect scene, the ending, the beginning of a beautiful story? yet, how to sustain but play that song again and again? And what do we risk? our expression, our moment on the street with a boombox raised high becomes cliché, and we must top the last, do it again and hope that she still loves us? if she can't remember our true aim is that perfect scheme to win her heart, own her soul for an eternity plus? because, there's just no other way. 37 lines, free verse ha, again! getting this under 40 thing beat. 6.11.21 6.13.21 divisions and punctuation edits freeverse and it's satire, sorry to spoil it for you. last line actually intoned by first, which was added after last was realized in the actualization of this poetic project. |
Snippets of memory left, bits of film I cannot restore or set to motion in the projector. So, I stare at negatives filtered through light, aimed to discern the small details, consider what beauty still remains and how much was lost since you said my best wasn’t good enough. The creases and cracks of memory perfectly preserve pain, of loss, especially without you to help remember the shame, and what revealed exasperation meant about us, recalled perfectly only by outcome, how you moved on. I still reside with pain of never really comprehending your rejection, unabsolved of the shame of my ignorance. 6.10.21 To Elinor B. who I thought was on my side, as mentor. I think the pain from your overreaction forced me to spill a life of ink without true discovery on my misguided journey to self-worth before realizing you didn’t clutch it in your own ignorant hands. Is unabsolved only an adverb? |
I'm always quitting you like the pencil and the pad like the shaded elm where i summered alone in the quiet of a day when all passing were on their way to some destination and i had you and those words, scrawled etchings lost like carvings in a tender tree I'm always quitting you when I come back for shade with a smart device that knows the way to collect my utterings on a bright screen to stay One day, maybe I'll quit you because no one else can see the dreams at play, hidden from the light of day Why must it always be this way? With me, with you? Reverse it, walk away. 6.10.21 IDK, just something I had to get down after the title phrase, thanks to the music by Cannons. Poetry is a temptress that has offered little in return, or do I fail see her true rewards? Like a smart lad, i capitalized I in second verse to show growth as a man. Who am i fooling? Truly, the poem reveals I'm at conflict and fighting with myself, since she/poetry are concepts of this mind. |
So Much Depends On The Rain a dark deluge pelts the chicken coop nesting hens long for a red wheelbarrow to warm claws dry feathers fluff sunrise crowing no longer echoes in memory after the seeded ground after the small hands busied with play running and clutching paint gleams hope long into meditation singular solitary dreams of angling rays somehow penetrate a thick head before back to bed to lay in fresh straw sleep away the afternoon 24 lines legit free verse how like a chicken my life has become, dreaming of gleaming work implements to station my heart and soul for a glimpse of warmth after the rain. 6.10.21 This could have gone several ways. Not trying to sound like WCW fully, but idea is a prequel to his famous poem. Time/Dream element might be confusing. More thought later. |
Lack of Rain The mirror reminds the seconds past, but not yesterday. Fans absorb quiet in the hall to the window and below where I huddle in a growing chair of despair, without some version of you there, when we first held hands and I learned the flavor of cherry chapstick on more tender lips, our legs and torsos becoming dangerously entangled. Too old to reawaken youth, I smile at the couple strolling our lane, past my window to the park. They don't know these trees will lose leaves, not like experience has taught one who can't recall the sapling but appreciates bloomed shade, hiding a sun glaring that wants to know why don't you play like the boy? I would weep but I'm dry and ashamed, as I gaze out the summer window, no longer worry about the foreboding fall, but the lack of rain's deliverance. 6.9.21 |
Summer Sun Out of Bamboo Into Summer sun we play. Toes ply arriving waves. With sunblock or shade, We mind the harmful rays -- But not a water bottle, Anchored hot to sand On searing, brown land. Hypertension too high, Blood pressure orders We must hide -- Back to the hut another day. After sun cream soothes Red skin that dared stay Too long beneath pale blue, When bared flesh did lay. 12 lines rhyming Stay hydrated With prompts, my friend Or have Writer's Cramp Another poem not good enough for WC daily contest... bolded words 6.10.21 writer's cramp prompts: blood pressure too high Summer sun water bottle out of Bamboo after sun cream |
A Broken, Flying Thing Grounded (Due To Your Ignorance) Before she crushed me with her ignorant stones I had taken flight. Entanglement on the ground made me easy prey. You hurl rocks at things you don't understand, rather than marvel how brilliant a thing soars and twists, dares a maelstrom to rudder or steer me toward my maker. You stand over me, befrecked frown of disapproval for a stupid thing lying there helpless, yearning only you to help repair a torn soul that longs a guiding hand. The beach warms the nylon on soft frame, anchored to wet sand, drying in a brilliant dawn. Waves rush back to their master. Sprite winds swirl, pick me up lightly. And alone, I fly reckless, aimless through the day, spy swimmers and lovers while looking for dreamers who marvel at me -- alone in sadness, absorbing their smiles of wonder for inspiration to get through another day and sigh. 6.9.21 30 lines freeverse Do we not speak the same language? I can't have an opinion without stones hurled before first asking questions? Prefer to judge before complaint complicates your just decisions? Perhaps, I am the one on the path of my own self-righteousness. At least, I'm open to that consideration. Just thinking of how people stun me with arrogance and ignorance, when I only want to bring joy. They don't seem to understand what I think I am, rather pelt me with a rock than hold me by the string and watch me twist in the sky. |
Winner Of Daily Poem Contest. "Winner and New Prompt - Due Mon. June 7th" The Deadline To Outcome If I do not wander, how will I find serendipity? How does chance favor the prepared? With eyes, we watch, we wait, like a pot yet to boil. Chance is unexpected and will require a stroll from time to time. But, give it a deadline? How long until we have to arrive at destiny? Is fate a desired outcome? And then, leave it to the spiritual nature of man? What would God have for me to explain why things do or do not happen? We are thankful for this mysterious unknowing? We need finality to determine if this outcome or that outcome is satisfactory. What sports team wager our hearts? Perhaps, fate is dice in our hands. We just can’t go gambling through life, rambling with our head in the clouds, when we launch into an ordinary story, our true reality unlike fiction. What do we meet on our journey? As I launch into another diatribe, aim explain musings of a mind in the rambling prose, hope yearns anchor beauteous thoughts on some stem, reveal beauty to a world as yet viewing. These are not true blossoms, but confused outcasts, corrupted blatherings. Make sense of the world? Or, just live it? Somewhere on this journey, my wife left the kitchen, the cats nap in the sunroom, my children have never entered this domain to listen. I'm not sage. I realize, I do this for myself and maybe my sanity. Or vanity, time will decide. Time to reheat this coffee, aim again. 35 lines prose-y freeverse booze-y freeverse 6.6.21 Writer's Cramp prompt about deadlines 24 hours no pressure 20 minutes, yes. |
they punched holes for so long there’s no place left to scar. a spiritual representation, unmarried, vexes them because beauty truly is not ugly as they seem. layers form, chins double and wrinkle with warts sprouting everlasting hair; depigmenting, scaling a yellow forehead furrowing rivers of regret that they never passionately held love, never inhale warm aroma of tender-scented skin, lather the healing surface of you, who could have been a friend, alone unto a bountiful world, had self-respect, dignity, honesty to lie beside and crawl beneath the dark. scurry to your hole in the ground. I’ll lay with the dutiful ants in damp green to wait out another golden arrival, peacefully dying and renewing. 6.5.21 This is why I'm the king of run-on-sentences, which I fondly refer to as breathless poetry, because you cannot come up for air as you read...aloud. It's a poem for those haters who judge because they feel unloved because they have no self-respect for themselves or others. |
Windows hold reflections, true visions, through a portal, multi-dimensional ability to revision images, out there, within you, but you keep peering through the glass, while mirrors capture truth. But, that just won’t do -- severed from reality. So, images don’t see the viewer eyeing the display, divisions in space and time, the longer the inactivate mind is at play. 6.3.21 6.4.21 meh |
Unwritten: Unceremonious Heroism In A Shaming Society For every origin story, fiction or real, what’s truly worth knowing depends on the outcome. How do you feel about a hero constantly defeated, while the victories regaled, doused with little to no glory? A worn faced rubbed smooth of any expression does not shine, with furled cape inches from the ground that could be bound for a blue sky. He walks among us, secretly wants to be known and unknown, by how unceremonious this all feels. No letter to emblazon a broad chest, he resides among those that feed egos for gain, those who shame egos for feeling vane. As we all struggle for some worth, or acceptance, it eventually feels unnatural to revel in what little adulation. To the victor: spoils. To the hero: unwritten. 6.3.21 6.4.21 edit I’m not really raging against the machine...maybe, all who manipulate for gain? |
Divisive — The Strong Pull / Gold Gleam Dream Lines formed, quadrants appear mapped, as ever-changing as tides rolling you near and far from me How can I complain to the moon to agile birds that flow upon drifts, their expressions teach I speak another language Or, are you a dream? Is this some contrived matrix? My story eternally grips at surly white caps, tall, divisive curl-water, rolling and tossing me near and far, when I learn of sand, a gold-gleamed beach, arrival, wonder. Are you there, as I am to be? And without the moons’ love, will the domesticated waters reform, push me further or claim back either me or you? when serendipity, sudden calm, informs the visualizer to dream more, sigh like a tender child arriving. It's dark and warm, no intrusion of light. No other romance, beyond the strong pull of Luna's merry-go-round ride, or water, to divide us ever again We cling to tide, nestle eternally ashore; no sand castles needed. 6.1.21 6.4.21 edit and cheesy ending added. |
I preserved my heart that you conditioned. Pieces of me, shadowed, hide from golden, black-streamlined eyes — cheeks, red-pinched hollows, beacons of time, flash luminosity with final sighs undressed uttered. My view is cast to a polarizing horizon — dimming features, gray silhouettes and misty purpose tempt to pursue. Are you arriving there, too? I thought we melded with the sunrise; vapor-fed fuel blackened huffy sky-waders. I glimpsed you in the margins of a life half-past October, solitary, fighting frost. No spade to serve, I clutched a curled handle beneath a thin yellow, pelted-wet half-moon. Bladed irises, standing guard, plot purple revisions; another dreamer’s hue, when I regret losing the shape of you. Dry eyes crystallize the color of blue. 6.1.21 6.4.21 Raw, one time type, newly edited. Though, only seem to 'speak' regularly to one of you about this slow roasting vision. |
Divisive — The Strong Pull Lines are formed, quadrants appear mapped, as ever changing as the tides rolling you near and far from me how can I complain to the moon the agile birds that flow with drift when their expressions teach I speak another language or are you a dream? is this some contrived matrix my story eternally gripping white caps of tall curl-water surly toss near and far when I learn of sand, a gold-gleamed beach, arrival and wonder are you there as I am to be? and without the moons’ love will the domesticated waters reform push me further or claim back either me or you when I calm to discover serendipity and truly visualize the dream sighing like a tender child arriving no other romance beyond the strong pull of moon and water will ever divide us again. 5.31.21 |