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Rated: 18+ · Book · Spiritual · #1149750
10k views, 2x BestPoetryCollection. A nothing from nowhere cast words to a world wide wind
I’m disabled by more than blindness. Write whatever teases my over(highly)=functioning head, when hyperactive.

Writing: Like one of those adventure games where you go off questing in different directions but you don’t advance in life. Pretty medallions sought for words/my soul, slow burnt. Full of misdirects, right back at the start, but still quest with thirst.

Life of turmoil produces stuff like this. Not going to call it beautiful agony…it gets a bit uglier. Minced words too pungent. If they take time to notice, must be doing something right.

scripturam in hoc non mutamus, quia stultus es et differentiam nescies.

(hic)

The beautiful mess you made:
I had a lover's quarrel with the world - Robert Frost

         |
I'm sorry you got caught in the middle. - me

Neurodivergent poet seeks love without that fart in the room between us. Honesty without mincing words has come with a price for those juggling the hot takes on what’s ‘truth’ (here’s some oven mitts). Best to stay clear of those surrounded by moat rules (not my attempt to disrespect, shame or shun. Just doin' me, which has come with its price [I've accepted.])..

Real dialogue accepted.

Wasn’t as open at first about recent diagnosis on spectrum with ADHD (complicated by PTSD, life of brain traumas). Been suggested by doctors of late I might want another brain scan (since 12/4/17…blogged).

This poet’s words collect, arrange on a kaleidoscope spectrum. The experience of discovery through writing is the truest reward that has allowed me to grow and learn who/what I am — what other people get naturally, immediately, while I stomp around in it.

Been blessed, but pushing it — envelope, world and all inhabitants away. Push buttons, find boundaries to trip traps. No clue why cat curiosity, living in your dark. (Bored, perhaps?)

Now and then, push dirt out of this hole; someone/thing/entity might envision me how I need to be viewed (if I knew what that was). Cryptic, yes. Try living in my dark, find comfort amid strange, virtual, wonderful walls that tower above, tempt me to scale.

Been more than I could imagine or expect here. But, achievements aren’t going on a LinkedIn wall *Think*. I dig deeper than I should, often without forethought. Aimless words, brave or veiled cowardice, flinchingly flung, inadvertently hit targets? Get a ‘back off’ shoulder shot when asking your motivations here. Not fair?

No prize to eye; not incentivized. Dealt the worst two cards before the flop, do best with what’s in hand.



My Pluggers:
You are an icon here.*BigSmile*
You suffer, but you suffer brilliantly. Wow, what a great writer.*Heart*


It’s like plugging myself, but using other people’s (reviewers) words…Review of "Poetic Referendum(s) On Life"
Your poetic muse is on fire! *Fire* Some great emotion, well-balance(d), lovely lyrical qualities -- even the ones that were written out of sadness or anger came through in a clever cadence…It's obvious you've put a lot of work into each entry and the totality of the blog has eye appeal. *Cool*

 
Published four times with one a literary journal, including… *PointRight*   "The Tender Core (Sedona)
I don’t submit because it’s too much work. Truly alone, know no one cares to show they believe/support me. Lip service feeds delusion. I’ve seen a lot of smoldering and snow. Try not be cynical, work hard at openness and consideration — work, sooo…gut thing.

*Toilet* *RibbonW* Merit Badge in Taboo Words
[Click For More Info]

Brian,

Congratulations! You won 1st Place in Taboo Words with your fantastic poem, [Link to Book Entry #1027659]. 

I absolutely loved this! *^*Heart*^*

Rachel Merit Badge in Poetry
[Click For More Info]

    Thanks you for supporting the  [Link To Item #power]  with an order to the  [Link To Item #powergifts] ! We appreciate it. *^*Heartv*^* Keep writing the beautiful poetry. [Link to Book Entry #1027659] is an awesome poem! *^*Starv*^* ~Lornda

 
Love my process constructing and sharing visions in words collected (no small task considering personal and physical limitations, see below).


August 28, 2006 this blog opened

BOOK
SuperNova Afterglow: End Of Days  (18+)
All that remains: here in my afterlife as a 'mainstream' blogger, with what little I know.
#1300042 by BrianReviewing, PleaseLeave..


No specific aim going forward (2014)

 
What I used to say: 'Maybe, I just don't get it. Watch me fumble with my version of reality, expose ignorance as truth. You don't have to get me, either. But, wish someone would explain me to myself.' Now I say: *Cool* *FacePalm* Now: I was such a whore.
 


*Laugh*This is old….
What? Oh, this? A rhetorical, self-motivational speech I'm working on.
Don't just read the parts to construct your theory, as if to confirm (construed out of context) your opinion, mentally-stunted Neanderthal. Therapist wants me to be less negative toward myself. I see it as attacking, rather than being defensive. Fear I will chomp too many bullets unintentionally sent toward the unsuspecting.
If you can be triggered for stupid reasons, then I?
…just looked like me rolling around on the floor with myself.*RollEyes*
             



What Was NEW

Who am I, you ask? My mirror knows that question, repeated daily.

Just trying to create a little buzz, not boost my ego.

#amwriting #poetry #blog #contest #freeverse #award #bestpoetry #freyaridings #lyrics #music #video #YouTube

Can you believe it took this long for someone to put a quarter in me and push the button GET ANGRY?
 

Mud 4 My Eye: Is that you, Poo? 💩 Secret Back Door

The Best Poetry Collection on Writing.Com
Previous ... 21 22 23 24 -25- 26 27 28 29 30 ... Next
July 14, 2021 at 11:43am
July 14, 2021 at 11:43am
#1013636
July 11, 2021 at 8:32pm
July 11, 2021 at 8:32pm
#1013480

Breathless Start --

Throbbing heart,
ruby-throated romance
hovers above the hummingbird feeder.

From a bay window viewed,

amid evaporating dew,
a field of daisies tremble
when summer breeze stirs.

Will you depart?

How we're apart;
my heart near yours,
separated by clear pane.

Hum, flutter --

I hear myself mutter,
don flip flops,
gather a picnic lunch.


Chase a dream?

I'm trapped in a scene
inside a foggy head
by this vision of you.

Hum, thrust --

How you must
notice me, too, arriving,
vibrant, green angel?

I'm not whole.

Muse, heal a poet's soul,
given flight as morning yields
to a white sun burning.

A sky so blue,

I must join you
in the pleasant shade
of evergreen to write.

Hum, flutter --

Wings melt like butter,
fade to the backdrop --
a steadfast soul inspired by summer.




36 lines
you name it, rhyming verse

Writer's Cramp prompt 6.24.21

with thoughts of poetic inspiration from a rare sighting.

 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#2133185 by Not Available.

Also, Another failed poem from Stormy Poetry Newsletter contest of yore.
July 11, 2021 at 8:25pm
July 11, 2021 at 8:25pm
#1013479
The whole world filled with suckers
looking for something to follow.
Here I am at your doorstep,
a basket-baby reject by those
who would not raise a demon.

Will you rear me, let me stray
onto your carpet of philosophy?
Pleading, tell me how and
what's right. Why do I bear
such shame in helpless plight?

You take me in, your odd duckling
who blindly follows you deep into night,
sure to belong, never wrong
to carry on your purposed fight.

A world full of suckers live by rules,
sometimes recanted philosophy.
You say they fit as a round peg
in a square hole
, just like me, who
dares nibble fare at your set table.

Questions aim, looking into gray eyes,
sequestered long in a dimming room,
divided by maddening walls of doom,
and what you believe best for me,
from what I know is right.

I'm a sucker, your bastard child, alone
divided. A square peg in this round hole.
You never knew I could be so bold,
as I'm to learn now beg forgiveness
for this acquired, unfit obsession.



6.27.21
29 lines,
your may hear rhyme, but mostly assonance in this free verse piece.
You didn't think I'd conform, did you?

Writer's Cramp prompt in bold, though as to the actual idiom, as a quote:

Kenelm Chillingly asks, "Does it not prove that no man, however wise, is a good judge of his own case? Now, your son's case is really your case —- you see it through the medium of your likings and dislikings, and insist upon forcing a square peg into a round hole, because in a round hole you, being a round peg, feel tight and comfortable. Now I call that irrational."

The farmer responded, "I don't see why my son has any right to fancy himself a square peg ... when his father, and his grandfather, and his great-grandfather, have been round pegs; and it is agin' nature for any creature not to take after its own kind."

— Edward Bulwer-Lytton, Kenelm Chillingly, His Adventures and Opinions[

from: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Square_peg_in_a_round_hole


On any day you can learn something, unlearn it, learn correctly and move on. But, who's going to correct us? - Brian K. Compton
July 11, 2021 at 8:20pm
July 11, 2021 at 8:20pm
#1013478
little bird who took shelter in your welcoming tree,
the innocent one drawn
into the open wood
in a chill at dawn, spied by me.

speckled plumage, fresh feathers multiply,
she squawks an awkward tune,
found your seed meant for prettier prey,
colors illumed in your yellow space,
warmed by currents in a soft bed.

ugly, it crows from shadows
of judging branches unyielding,
hops limb to limb to seek your love
afforded to inhabitants preening in view.
not meant for you, little bird.

Hope ruffled by cold.
Hope shrill in winter.
Hope soils the ground,
as little bird spent too long
refining an awkward song.

Hope can't fly
as a thing of joy should,
with a heart planted by your seed scattered,
follows the wrong dream,
confined now in a dry, dark wood.



24 lines
free verse


Wriiter's Cramp entry 6.15.21 unedited with this blog entry
prompt: use the title 'a chill in the air'. Hmm.
July 11, 2021 at 4:02pm
July 11, 2021 at 4:02pm
#1013470
Water Symphony

A lake symphony set to begin,
my ears cleared by green bassos,
single notes gulp an opening silence.

Brown minstrels grasp surface air,
whoosh water, vacuum twilight wings
skittering a surface.

Pinholes in ultraviolet horizons
gasp, as last rays angle, strike
the silvery surface.

in my yard, lawn chair erect,
violinists in the green pit harmonize
instruments in unison, lay
undiscovered, build a sound-bed
consuming ears harvesting
a cacophony of familiar notes.

Eyes trust a rising moon clear-cutting
a path to the dock, stretching
across dimpled water.

A water symphony punctuates
from glistening, dark cellos snapping
a delicacy of movement repeatedly.

Metal creak of my woven seat, reality.
I ease back to wonder if this calm
allows a mind to dream, forget
mosquitos masqueraded arrival is
an unexpected banquet I prepare to pay
with my flesh.


7.11.21
27 lines, free verse/vers libre

WC Loser 7.21-final version
July 11, 2021 at 7:58am
July 11, 2021 at 7:58am
#1013451
Tears burned his eyes
when he realized
in earnest he had learned,
despite the repression,
how to use his voice,

when he finally could memorize lyrics
to his favorite song,
part his lips to loose
a song upon
a stunned family gathering.

Silent, carefully listening,
he had them, knew it, and
like a cork it bottled him
lifelong, unable
to sing again before anyone.

Tens of years pass,
earning his stripes,
multiple, menial jobs that buy his bread,
he tires of being alone. Quiet,
he vocalizes feelings again.

Sung with headphones strapped,
silences a crowd all around.
He parts those still tender lips,
having relearned the lyrics,
sings his favorite song,
stunned.

Only this time, he doesn't look,
imagines the sweetest melody
plays through his soul
to mountain tops his remaining years,
wherever he goes

and gently whispers thank you
to his brave heart.

7.11.21

How I imagine it might feel one day when ready to share love of singing to a broader audience.

It takes a lot of courage to be a part of a social community where one is only willing to share so much of them self, fearing reception, fearing rejection. Moreover, tied to self worth, it stings when people don't get him, or want get him, because he doesn't bring to the table what they think he should. Though, he does lay bare his soul of it's gifts. And when that's deemed only partially good, it might as well be all bad.

He's honest. Maybe, that scares you. He knows the difference between people who speak real words or use them as a mask. But using real words as a mask will take much longer to discern.
July 9, 2021 at 7:25am
July 9, 2021 at 7:25am
#1013332
life flashing: low battery
         like a love fool,
when it was a new cardigans song,
         warm, pulsing rhythms
         by a vexing songstress, a vision,
my heart boils over for:
a stew that warms your soul.

but the lyrics scatter in my mind,
         chasing words and musical notations,
         inscribed on long forgotten sheets,
stains on an empty heart.
too much wind in the street
to chase them down, find
I lack skill to revitalize melody.

low battery.
how I wish for
a new cardigans song
like a love fool running out
into that storm to retrieve her, but
too much wind in the street.


7.9.21
20 lines, free verse

Intimacy
"Typing in lowercase signals familiarity. It says: “We know each other and don’t need to be fancy.” Lowercase text can read as honest, unedited, and approaching something like a stream of consciousness — more like actual speech."

https://www.thecut.com/2019/02/reasons-to-type-in-lowercase.html

from deleted static
July 7, 2021 at 1:52pm
July 7, 2021 at 1:52pm
#1013248
Shooting Arrows In The Dark

I spend all day collecting targets --
prey for my instinctive arrows,
honed but hollow.
I toil, spy from the backdrop --
camouflage and build a dream of capture
before sunset.
When distracted, too late,
dark shrouds cloak my head.

In my little hide away,
ears keen, nose clean, I think --
check traps, wind my way
through this scene, and soon after go
clumsily through thick woods --
pitched dark, black
before I'm lost.

Shooting arrows in the dark,
in this theater,
purposed, resilient,
adds no kill -- maims a toe or two,
blisters the adjoining fingers to a savage construct,
weaponized mind -- aiming to become
more practiced when real game comes.



7.6.21
7.8.21 edit
July 7, 2021 at 1:49pm
July 7, 2021 at 1:49pm
#1013247
the daze of recirculation

a dusty box fan
in wood-wrapped, single pane window
set my mind numb.
humid air churned
amid an uneven hummm-hummmm.
a hideous, green-paneled,
eight by eight dungeon hid
spackled, dull-yellow walls.
cracks and chipped paint lingered
like me, unexposed.
an ancient brotherhood scaled, explored
deep within four corners
before i took residence.

in my metal bunk, the eldest
of the remaining brood, i surfed
from on top. the warmest, stale air inhaled
under thin, musty, attic-retrieved blankets,
freed of mildew by bony hands
that operated her wringer-washer.

summers seemed viewed in a shaded cave
with a mono turntable crustily spinning
hand-me-down vinyl,
45s by Beach Boys, Doo Woppers
and the man who repeatedly wailed 'Dang Me'.

i'm awake in a new, ivory tower
with King-size bed. lofty pine peer in
at me in all this luxury.
she removed the down comforter, as
a/c hums tighter, quieter,
in a sleek, double-pane window,
clinging to frame,
setting sixty-four.

this body readies for a misty, post-
thunderstorm, july afternoon.
nuzzled, less like the coiled,
breathing fur piles, on a hypo-allergenic
down pillow -- nap away an idle life,
as yet to sync as harmonious as
a sturdy, steel-framed box fan
pulverizing intrusive childhood air.

can’t sleep.
i miss my old cell.



7.5.21
7.8.21 edit

can't decide on titles, as usual.

Intimacy
"Typing in lowercase signals familiarity. It says: “We know each other and don’t need to be fancy.” Lowercase text can read as honest, unedited, and approaching something like a stream of consciousness — more like actual speech."

https://www.thecut.com/2019/02/reasons-to-type-in-lowercase.html
July 6, 2021 at 7:18am
July 6, 2021 at 7:18am
#1013161
While she’s in the dungeon below,
torturing her foolish body,
streams her half hour daily workout
from trainer to phone through Roku
to tv,
I slip
into the refrigerator freezer,
retrieve
the double fudge 'Moose Tracks',
her faux 'Mackinaw Island', ice cream
and sit at the kitchen table,
pull that lid off
and let humidity
that she helps produce
soften the blend.

I roll open the silverware drawer,
select a spoon, sit and listen.
Weights with sleeves slide
on lifted bars, collide with iron,
mid grunts,
as her trainer yells instructions.

I use my instrument to ply within tender
cardboard, draw down even
the level of the sweet, churned fare.
My son slinks past and I knowingly wink,
as he removes
one of her peanut butter, chocolate chunk cookies
from the big box store container.
I cringe because he is not as stealth.
But, her ears must be consumed
with a body's regret from neglect.

We consume a timely dessert together,
clean up with time to spare.
She’ll know something is missing,
but not just yet.
She earns her guilt after
she arrives back from her work.
I'll have a devilish grin to share, then.



7.1.21
7.6.21 edit
July 5, 2021 at 6:46am
July 5, 2021 at 6:46am
#1013077
Examination of my life has come down to
the large metatarsal bone on my right foot --
the fungal toenail I show her
that she previously noted
I would lose.

While it lay exposed one night,
elevated on the pillow amid
a king-size bed, she pried.
And like a jarred, package delivery chute,
it yielded its dry core.

Clipping wild, wayward shards
from petrified infusion,
tender bed of black and blue,
in my delicate disillusion
its impending departure left me wonder:
when it leaves,
what will become of me?

My other quandary:
what will protect but a shoe?

And yet, another reality:
imagining an investigating camera
panning away, silent,
with its backward, crab-walking crew,
unobtrusive, not wanting to be seen
documenting this life.

Journalists flee down our hallway
every night, shouting wrong house!
Wrong life.



7.4/5/6.21

Took me awhile to see if editing this was even worth the time.
July 5, 2021 at 12:27am
July 5, 2021 at 12:27am
#1013069
Nestled in pants pockets,
heavenly-blue arrival pack to the brim.
Clutter of jilted ore pellets —
brilliant wonder matching a child's eyes.
The rough gems restrict a proud stride.

Grasshoppers flit, buzz like heat,
cutting humid silence. Pale-black,
yellow-tipped wings sail down smooth-worm,
rusted rail. Blistered feet, brown and nimble,
warm — navigate rail on fixed horizon.

No ticket needed for an adventure sought.
Distance from the platform protects him
from a lonely wail. Iron trail constructed
in a roaring era before grandpa died —
a timely train that no longer whistles.

Tracks quiver, Horns blares around the bend.
Red crossing signals flare, bells clang,
before the striped gate secures the path.
This locomotive will swiftly pass. Soon,
crickets darken scene that means home.



7.4.21

For July — Stormy Poetry Newsletter

still trying
July 4, 2021 at 2:28pm
July 4, 2021 at 2:28pm
#1013046
When she foggily stirred and rose to meet my eyes,
she said,
'I love you'.
I said,
'you need to nap more often, my dear'.


just after she puts away her phone on the night stand,
before slumber,
she spools to my half of the bed,
still listening to me roll.
she’s lulled,
lids descend but haven’t reached the floor,
stay ajar,
as I take my cue to wish her a peaceful slumber.

but she insists,
continue.
Though, I know my next sentence is the last
that I will hear loudest, best,
repeating
until three a.m. like
a skipping record, because
I can’t finish that thought.

She takes all my rest.



7.4.21
22 lines, free verse

I won't explain, for a change.
July 4, 2021 at 2:21pm
July 4, 2021 at 2:21pm
#1013044
the widow sits by the window --
         beneath the bay window,
slumped in the chair,
a lump --
         in the easy chair
the widow lay beneath the window,
the widening hole,
a dull glass above a young lass.

a widow --
         a graying woman delaying
in a room bright,
a dark gloom,
a vault-like tomb,
where the widow sits and idles
alone,
nobody home.

though, the window sees
a busy street scene,
a park opening,
people walking their dogs.
it’s 80 degrees.
you think she would freeze
with the a/c on
well after dawn,
huddling there
in the great green chair.
is there despair

for the widow
who sleeps, possibly dreams
beneath a streaked scene?
the wind always blows.
but, whoever knows from outside
if she’s alive or if dead, because

they can’t even see
and she can’t see, because

her eyes are closed
below the window
in her dusty, old chair.
has she a care?

the widow beneath the window,
in such a strange scene,
shaded you see
beneath a willow tree.

the widow beneath that window
doesn’t look to see.
must be a dream, because

I’m not even dead, yet.



7.4.21
47 lines, free verse


I had the ending figured out just after the repeating 'widow in the window' mantra went going around in my head, before finally jotting it down, and then all the stuff in that sandwich kept bubbling up, piling on, before I could add that reality at the finish. I won't spoil it for those who might need a second read to understand what I mean by that last line. Note the only capital letter. You guys look for, or notice this stuff, right? Sometimes, I forget that I'm doing it, look back and have to find these things myself.

There should be a noticeable narrative with the way the lines start out, like trying to get traction. I might go back and edit the end to alter line positions a little, if nothing else to ease that downhill march to the end of the read.
June 30, 2021 at 9:04pm
June 30, 2021 at 9:04pm
#1012811

Metronome Love -haiku

My metronome heart,
Steadily beating, timing,
Attunes with your love.



6.30.21
Three lines, haiku

Open Prompt: Write a poem, 15 lines or less, structured or free verse, on the topic of your choosing for "The Whatever Contest" .

I can't imagine a haiku getting nom'd for a Quill. So, this is me mailing it in. *Laugh*


June 30, 2021 at 8:27pm
June 30, 2021 at 8:27pm
#1012810

Snowflakes latched like lovers laughing,
twirling above a deepening twilight,
Thick woods darkened the deeper we roamed.
Our footprints depressed a winding trail
beside blue spruce. Heavy bows held great,
frozen weight amid a spiraling storm,
piercing thin air all around us.

You would have me press my pale flesh
down into your spread sheepskin coat.
Howls and bursts kissed our naked flesh
heating the chilled white blanket below.
Intertwined in a mountain valley,
our love echoed in a barren winter.



6.30.21
13 lines, free verse

Open Prompt: Write a poem, 15 lines or less, structured or free verse, on the topic of your choosing for "The Whatever Contest" .
June 30, 2021 at 12:51pm
June 30, 2021 at 12:51pm
#1012789
This burden of what I am,
its complex scenarios, complicated by
assumption, how I should behave
with your disdain or indifference
for sharing drama,
the day to day when reaching out
for understanding,
only to be shunned further, again.

Want to feel whole, normal, but might not
ever get there with something lacking
in my DNA. I'll always be missing
that certain something you take for granted
that I try to patch
with any love or assurance just to sustain.

You are not strong enough for two --
unbound, not my glue.

And those who struggle (like me) don't realize,
we topple all of you --
those (around) who don't get out of the way.
Not strong enough to bolster us or
lift us back up.

So, we (I) burden our (my) responsibility
by not declaring in anthems all this pain --
be strong for ourselves, insulate
from the rest, until we're no longer
holding back sagging walls before collapse.

Perfectly normal feelings, is what they (you) say.
WE can 'relate'. Yet, it takes ALL of you
for just one (like me) to get through this life,
or make a day a little brighter --
sacrifice, instead of hoarding all the love.


6.30.21
31 lines

piggyback off previous post
June 30, 2021 at 12:08pm
June 30, 2021 at 12:08pm
#1012786


"Every day is so wonderful
Then suddenly it's hard to breathe
Now and then I get insecure
From all the pain
I'm so ashamed"

This burden, complex sets of emotions for feeling the way we do, complicated by what we assume is disdain or indifference for sharing our drama, when reaching out for understanding, only to be shunned further.

People who want to feel whole/normal might not ever get there because there is something lacking that they'll always be missing that they/we think we can patch with love and assurance from another who gives the appearance they are strong enough for two. And what those who struggle don't realize is they/we topple all those around us who don't get out of the way, because they are not as strong as they seem to bolster us or lift us back up. So, we burden the responsibility by not declaring in anthems like this that we have to be strong for ourselves, rather insulate until we're no longer holding back those sagging walls before collapse. And then, it's really a mess.

Song probably written by a highly-functioning 'whatever' until I have a diagnosis, can't say.

These are perfectly normal feelings we can relate and acknowledge. It takes a strong support group for a person to get through life. Be there for them in person, if you know you can make their day a little brighter; sacrifice a bit of yourself. Stop hoarding all the love. *Heart*

That time, I was on a soapbox. Getting down now. Read more here about the curious history of this song that endears its creator to me, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beautiful_(Christina_Aguilera_song) .

And what I truly get from Linda Perry, the author, is that writers really know how something should be performed, where artists seldom get it. The Wikipedia link has more.


6.30.21
June 30, 2021 at 2:12am
June 30, 2021 at 2:12am
#1012763
With their tongues out--

Sneering, dirty faces haunted,
still mock me to this day.
They used to say,
‘I know you are, but what am I?’
to stifle a squabble.

Nothing’s changed.
Heavy brows snarling, judge
my indignance, as if to say,
you're the crazy one
and just walk away.

It’s called gaslighting, though
I wouldn’t have learned
if I hadn’t googled
to help in my predicament,
realize I can’t get unstuck from
a lifetime losing arguments
to narcissists.

6.30.21

This poem could say more, but it's late, I'm tired and why bother?
June 30, 2021 at 12:28am
June 30, 2021 at 12:28am
#1012760
I Lean Into It Hard

I have so much to say and no one to tell it to.
What 'it' is, I do not know.
When you've been in captivity,
unobserved, observed,
you go a little stir crazy, wonder
what do they think,
when the words come.

Constructed in their language,
I lean into it hard,
every complex emotion, feeling
and things I don't understand, hoping
a friend will come forward
to illuminate a dark, caged world.

The longer I prate,
the quicker eyes dull, close and shadows
depart from my den
where I remain a denizen, pacing
and speaking aloud to the wall,
no one, but hoping for one ear
to eavesdrop, maybe

a reaction is all I need.
A face that I can read for a sign,
but my friends who could pantomime
just appear indifferent, or maybe,
I'm blind, can't read at all.
I lean into it hard, a wall
and nothing gives way to my brain.

I'm done for now.

6.29.21

Type ramble. Because I googled the title words and had to write something to satisfying my annoying mind. You think you have it bad? I have to live with this condition. *Sad*


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