10k views, 2x BestPoetryCollection. A nothing from nowhere cast words to a world wide wind |
I’m disabled by more than blindness. Writing: Like one of those adventure games where you go off questing in different directions but you don’t advance in life. Pretty medallions sought for words/my soul, slow burnt. Full of misdirects, right back at the start, but still quest with thirst. Life of turmoil produces stuff like this. Not going to call it beautiful agony…it gets a bit uglier. Minced words too pungent. If they take time to notice, must be doing something right. scripturam in hoc non mutamus, quia stultus es et differentiam nescies. (hic) The beautiful mess you made: I had a lover's quarrel with the world - Robert Frost | I'm sorry you got caught in the middle. - me Neurodivergent poet seeks love without that fart in the room between us. Honesty without mincing words has come with a price for those juggling the hot my takes on what’s ‘truth’ (here’s some oven mitts). Best to stay clear of those surrounded by moat rules. Real dialogue is accepted. Wasn’t as open at first about recent diagnosis on spectrum with ADHD (complicated by PTSD, life of brain traumas). Been suggested by doctors of late I might want another brain scan (since 12/4/17…blogged). This poet’s words collect, arrange on a kaleidoscope spectrum. The experience of discovery through writing is the truest reward that has allowed me to grow and learn who/what I am — what other people get naturally, immediately, while I stomp around in it. Been blessed, but pushing it — envelope, world and all inhabitants away. Push buttons, find boundaries to trip traps. No clue why cat curiosity, living in your dark. (Bored, perhaps?) Now and then, push dirt out of this hole; someone/thing/entity might envision me how I need to be viewed (if I knew what that was). Cryptic, yes. Try living in my dark, find comfort amid strange, virtual, wonderful walls that tower above, tempt me to scale. Been more than I could imagine or expect here. But, achievements aren’t going on a LinkedIn wall . I dig deeper than I should, often without forethought. Aimless words, brave or veiled cowardice, flinchingly flung, inadvertently hit targets? Get a ‘back off’ shoulder shot when asking your motivations here. Not fair? No prize to eye; not incentivized. Dealt the worst two cards before the flop, do best with what’s in hand. My Pluggers: You are an icon here. You suffer, but you suffer brilliantly. Wow, what a great writer. It’s like plugging myself, but using other people’s (reviewers) words…Review of "Poetic Referendum(s) On Life" Your poetic muse is on fire! Some great emotion, well-balance(d), lovely lyrical qualities -- even the ones that were written out of sadness or anger came through in a clever cadence…It's obvious you've put a lot of work into each entry and the totality of the blog has eye appeal. Published four times with one a literary journal, including… "The Tender Core (Sedona)" I don’t submit because it’s too much work. Truly alone, know no one cares to show they believe/support me. Lip service feeds delusion. I’ve seen a lot of smoldering and snow. Try not be cynical, work hard at openness and consideration — work, sooo…gut thing. August 28, 2006 this blog opened ▼
No specific aim going forward (2014) ▼ This is old…. What? Oh, this? A rhetorical, self-motivational speech I'm working on. Don't just read the parts to construct your theory, as if to confirm (construed out of context) your opinion, mentally-stunted Neanderthal. Therapist wants me to be less negative toward myself. I see it as attacking, rather than being defensive. Fear I will chomp too many bullets unintentionally sent toward the unsuspecting. If you can be triggered for stupid reasons, then I? …just looked like me rolling around on the floor with myself. What Was NEW Who am I, you ask? My mirror knows that question, repeated daily. Just trying to create a little buzz, not boost my ego. #amwriting #poetry #blog #contest #freeverse #award #bestpoetry #freyaridings #lyrics #music #video #YouTube Can you believe it took this long for someone to put a quarter in me and push the button GET ANGRY? Mud 4 My Eye: Is that you, Poo? 💩 Secret Back Door ▼ |
After the x-ray and before the adjustment, he slid the negative over the clapboard light, with two hands, and said, 'do you have problems with your back?' which puzzled me. Duh. White crust caked the unaligned column of disks, revealing a 'very arthritic' back with my 'congenital fusion' at the 'atlas' and 'two fused vertebrae near the coccyx'. My own doing. I envisioned winter on Mahjong tiles. Not the takeaway, as my focus was on his amazement, repeating two times, 'you have perfect hips', later told to my wife as, ‘always knew I had a perfect ass.' 4.19.22 it's true . number four on my list. sharing this knowledge on world web? Not hairy. and it's smooth. I'm just going to stop talking about my writing and start in on my anatomy... "My Penis" don't know what I should feel more ashamed about. wife tells me she couldn't stop staring at my hands and forearms the other day. knew she wasn’t listening. |
My bay window acts as a cage, where they flit inside puzzled limbs of an anticipant crab, that stoic shuns a stiff blast without bend but for brittle stems sent. In an instant, dawn tittered melody becomes a din. A sparked sun no longer ekes out beneath dimming clouds. Mrs. Red Breast fat flops down on dull turf. Plump puffed, she stops, cocked head, darts side-to-side. A skip-hop dance, pauses, bounces back. Nothing yanked, heavily she flutters up to the budding maple’s rigid arm. Clouds now full thick, roll in, lower and glare at me in my recliner, my container, as Red beelines it from her haven; shouting she goes, the last fowl sound before a distant grumble. Light escapes this soft lounge when the porch is first to report. It strikes fast, comes again, thickly applies as a crop duster to empty street. A rush dashes to the corner grate. The feck begins, ends, sends more, as if a child grips and spins a tap. But roof and gutters cannot conceal echos of metal and oily black skins pelted, now steady receiving seasonal torment. I’ll be here for hours and reminds — wear a thicker garment under this throw. 4.17.22 32 lines, free verse 8.14.22 revised Title: double meaning Taboo Words April 2022 Prompt: APRIL SHOWERS taboo words: water, drench, weather, cold, shower or any derivatives of these words |
1st Place - Personify Writing Contest When I'm Depressed As a band of brothers, born connected in factory, his tedious blade cut apart our unity as we laid. We harnessed power as a grid, so near, yet far in cool, dark days, boxed, undelivered -- perfect until thin Styrofoam slid from surface, captured. We connected to a new grid, electrified, explored by tender, sweaty hands fumbling in eerie glow. A cherub, illuminated an insurgent, prying, plying into portals that employed renewed rebels digitally. In a storm room, pain and suffering, she was consumed. A nation of brothers under palm were her depressed. Notes played, in tunnels to realms she sought coexist, not careful, stained and crumbed a depressed land. Her agony growing, not a symphony, composing anthems about identity, when in finality was a man. Words never spoken in his room to worried parents, he employed us. Multi-dimensional worlds collided, broke apart. Keystrokes ever changing, erasing, returned a dark heart's song that depressed us again and again. Struck in agony, virtually, in this tunnel nearing victory. Uniform with the one, we warred with other nations, fought a battle of good versus evil. Our keys struck harmony, melody for those who could see our deployed need. In the real world, she is he. In this multi-verse, now undivided, we can coexist with a world of depressed. Stoic, rigidly we transitioned mutually, respectfully. Solemn nights alone, beneath those sweaty hands, tender now. Peace restored in his land of confusion. A band of troubadours sing in key, for the heart true in identity; contextually, characters coexist with one. 4.15.22 30 lines, free verse
APRIL 2022 Prompt Object: COMPUTER KEYBOARD Keyboards are molds cut apart by hand to expose molded keys, tightly pressed back together after being socketed to corresponding switches. Idea is keyboard thinks itself a nation with keys that are depressed (double meaning) by the user composing sad anthems this nation of keyboard helps express. idea and concept…gender dysphoria leads to transgenderism in transformative poem? A sad and lonely process where the keyboard is empathetic, helps unify the young cherub in transformation to find friends, help, support and true identity in process. Hard to personify a keyboard without sounding silly. |
I don those small galoshes on my feet, tight straddling a baby toe, no wiggle room, blisters grow with each stomped puddle. brown ripples dividing, overflow an already doused street, in my sleep. April eternal and I'm dry and still in PJs. I spin her good umbrella, better than mine (broken by the wind) and lance like a fool, stabbed like a buffoon, back pedal, stumble. but there's nowhere dry to land, bottom wet. inside a windbreaker house, flapping as a bird, as if I could fly from nest to bus stop, mid-April, when I finally appear after dark. I see it go by and hurl a steel lunchbox, dented too many times, tumbling an alley from a bruised big toe. I imagine he sneers, as passing yellow rolls, sends a toxic blast, when I wake up, fuss and wail, in April fading. and I'm still dry, head lowered, shuffling. I anchor the rear seat, in a cloud, as she drives. past scolded, arms folded, ruled for having imagination when April weather changes and I haven't arrived. every gnarled tree out the window glares back. but in my paneled room, she gently slides bedside, tousles unkempt hair, reminds I need a haircut and get ready in April. can't feel her lips brush my skin, pale, wrinkling, sinking in bone, where I lay and turn to window for information. not too many days left before break. I expect rain. 4.15/17.22 28 lines, free verse I missed the bus a lot, a lot, especially when there were so many puddles to splash. This is a mix of childhood memory, dreams and anticipating dying with her blessing before I go...to my new school. |
my crown is wound tight, almost daily, the mainspring pried by forefinger and a thick thumb, trying to get a grip. sometimes, i go for days in the drawer, in the nightstand, eyes tight, mind in night. my crown could use a spin, manually, attuned by a dedicated one who knows tension, tiny coils and gears that don't need constant lubricating but a little love, to clasp a hairy wrist. 4.14.22 I could add to this, give deeper introspect. Just thinking about wrist watches, when I had one that needed to be manually wound. How I would forget, or not wear, or lose or not care about time. And then, when I got a beautiful watch with a battery, how it was crap, never kept time and again, I would misplace it, forget it, not care about time. And now, I have a phone, a tablet, a fitbit, all places to stare that digitally are wound to a world clock so I can never be late, and I still try not to look, or care about time, but definitely feel it's tiny springs and coils inside of me wanting to rust up, erode and push back the tides of this linear thing I live inside of. Or should this be the poem? and I should wear my glasses. that's another matter and yet the same. i'm not Bond with all these gadgets i could use to rescue myself when danger approaches. okay, still poetry. stop. |
Blowing up threads with word soup you call TNT, clearing a room before doom from the ignorance yours, not mine, because this is art, poetry and it could be sublime, or it could be a method of reaching out Blowing holes through rhetoric meant to build walls not tumble them down so we can finally meet on your side, not mine, because this is art, poetry and you should come greet words on my wall to really consider These words could divine a way for you and me to be friends I'm not taking anyone hostage with the words I spread, though I can conceive how you might think a threat That is your problem, should not be mine. But, let's wait a minute and see if we paint a line of indifference clearly marked just for me so I do not cross 4.14.22 words the world today is not ready to greet with openness, fairness or honesty. Dialogue takes a back seat. Yes, I can see you are triggered. What about me? What - about - me? |
Yes, I'm teaching myself to Villanelle. A1 Formulaic, puzzle in words that rhyme, b with a scheme they conjured in wordsmith hell. A2 Poetry, meter-less, my attempt to sell. a A1, b, A2, a, as b repeats this time. b Yes, I'm teaching myself to Villanelle, A1 butcher language, a word chimp could tell. a Should I trifle, prompted, what's my crime? b with a scheme they conjured in wordsmith hell. A2 This theme is something satirical and smells. a Pinch my nose, google, select and fill each line. b Yes, I'm teaching myself to Villanelle, A1 while life awaits, distracted from tolling bell. a Tempted to waste time, break form, that's my crime, b with a scheme they conjured in wordsmith hell. A2 Away from tercet, a stanza with four lines. a My brain in twain with no refrain drops this dime. b Yes, I'm teaching myself to Villanelle, A1 with a scheme they conjured in wordsmith hell. A2 4.14.22 The customary 19 lines, Villanelle it's so catchy, it's so kitschy Everything you need to know, more than you wanted to know: https://poets.org/glossary/villanelle Spent half an hour last night, about a half hour this morning. I'll take my training wheels off, as I've completed my first Villanelle. The poem describes how it is constructed. Meter is optional, but helps, like iambic. Let's say, if you like USA crossword puzzles, it's for you. I laid out the restricted form with rhyme scheme on the page. Capital letters mean repeat the whole line. You might know the rudimentary instruction for rhyming a and b. Prompt: Find a form of poetry you've never written before and both describe it and write an example. Written for "The Whatever Contest." "The Whatever Contest -- Closed for Now" Word/Line Count:19 Taking a pill now. Should have worn my glasses. That's the true trick. Took longer to edit this way. |
You changed your costume. Do you not remember when you were spurned? How fire doused chilled you? You changed your tone, making me believe you cannot absorb pain of a memory that informed. I long to see you eyes aflame, because I just stopped thinking about how you used to sing pain like fire. It feels centuries old when burned. Blisters leave scars that can never hide pain. How fire did that to you. 4.13.22 Cannon's cover of On Fire For You changed. |
heat could penetrate this mantle with a sun millions of miles away gently disturbing molecules floating by unanimated butterflies that don't spark that don't light a bug in vernal scene passion could penetrate this soul with a moon nearer to my heart tonight gently disturbing chemicals flowing through unanimated cicadas that won't spark that yet won't wake a bug for many years and while we are on this vinyl spinning round the sun and moon go through their phases are not gentle, disturb, and keep floating by they animate all that is real, except me, now a bug trapped eternal in every stagnant season, still dreaming return to anything better than this. 4.13.22 Not for you, or you, or you, because no one but me dreams like me, in retrograde. I fear punctuate but appreciate sentence breaks and flow of words meted. |
Rolling grey in this gusty garden, remnants of last year's unharvested. Rolling about this dusty, fogged head, last year's forgotten joys: blue skies agleam, a simple plot radiating, glint gutters funneling a shower’s surprise, daffodils early return amid inhaled hyacinth hastened, lambs of April. Storms seldom abate this season, longing Spring revival to release me. Out a smeared window, ice-crust soil slogged. Leafy beds below windows do not burst a thirst of green tubers, rooted underground. Sun from heaven barely shines. Cloud skies' gloom in April darken as doom for garden flowers perennial reprise, won't release wary eyes from winter’s guise. 4.13.22 17 lines, free verse Title: a call to action 2nd Place, 4.19.22 (always a bridesmaid...) for Stormy's Poetry Newsletter https://www.writing.com/main/newsletters/action/archives/id/11321-Jane-Kenyon.ht... words: grey skies April showers garden flowers spring surprise |
By unknown gravitation, levitation, they seem migrate everywhere, when not found heeled to head, hung to shirt neck; toying with me, a mindless man, be-fogged, squinting uncorrected ability to scan a scene piled perilously, from here to there. Haphazard, shorn, mangled documents wedge within, and upon, spiraled, stapled, and glued, blue-lined pads, mingle with half-fallen-down books, a phone not charging, two tablets full ready & honed instruments discarded, collecting in puzzled places as hidden 3D images in my two-dimensional, sub-reality; when she walks up to me, bewildered, arm stretched out and says, 'here, you looking for these?' It happens more often than it should. But, no need panic, as I'm accustomed, with four more pair still wandering, waiting (re)discovery somewhere within, and possibly without, jungled mazes of this house. 4.10.22 formerly titled: 'Looking For These?' run on sentences in my poetry can signify several things. in this case, anxiety and the endless game of hunting for what we have lost, need recover, including sanity. following was typed with no aid for vision, making me think I need go on another safari, especially if I want to edit. |
don't aim for my ears. don't aim for my ears. don't. I don't want to hear. but with your call heard above the willow, I visualize flowing, straw so smooth, lace a tender chin, frame rose jowls jutting beneath that bay of blue. don't aim for my eyes. don't aim your eyes at mine. don't. I don't want to know that you could really see me now, after all these years, like this, alone and wishing... flow, straw so tender in willow aims at me, some isle of a man who cannot run, could not visualize your arms open to rigid oak, a dense wood, that could shadow your form if the sun had hit us just right. I don't want to hear hello. I didn't want to see you go, flow fading into night, alight in dreams beneath a moon's glow a fog-head still clearly envisions. no aim. no aim. no flow. why must the moon still glow? 4.9.22 |
your body may have been small I'll never know after I heard you glance off the bay window, though I could go look. I don't want to. I'm all alone and small like you on the inside of something protective that isn't a heart, about as big as you, I would imagine, from melodious sound that may have signaled a death toll My body may have been small, but I'll never know how hard the sound when I glanced off big hands, thick, though I could go look, in my hell hole. I don't want to know I'm all alone, small, make no sound in this giant shell of a living man who does not want to relive what you go through, struggling, possibly...now... I'm small let's leave it at that. 4.9.22 |
Burn For This? (Will I Ever Know?) I’m trying to say something to you in a way you never quite thought of, hopefully handsome, that you’ll appreciate, maybe, even dream a little about me, the way my words might form when our eyes meet, might they dilate and flesh heat. while we may never greet or extend a hand to the other, more personally, warm a tender back; two limbs entwine sodden torsos, finally arrive to perfect sunrise. roots firm grasp terra we soil together, feeling true worth, before undeniable repose; losing the sun to moonless nights, winter a dark year alone, yearn vernal return, early — less a lion, longing like lambs. with tender lips kiss a finally thawed, wet glass — kiss window pane, escape somehow through a filmy thing, when you couldn’t look out, needed words burst a hard land, touch hope lingering soft, in blue hearts, burning again. Will I ever know…if I did that? 4.9.22 4.13.22 edit |
I’ve written a lot of stuff I won’t post, resist what might be temptation. But this, no qualms… I could be somewhere between Will Smith laughing at Chris Rock’s Oscars joke and that fist upside the comedian’s jughead jaw to yelling keep her name out your mouth to weeping during an honor professing desire to be a vessel for love. What you get is not staged but reaction to all that confounds. I got to get it right. I know when I’m baited, learned to dial it down, step back. But, definitely, I won’t be poned or dismissed and have to actively figure a way to prepare and sort it when dared…by life and by trolls…indifferent or direct. Will may have been in laugh mode before quickly connecting the dots before going off. Rock sells controversy as comedy, but not as edge as he once was. Rock is scripted. Smith might not be. If I script, I’m fake. Got to work it real and keep the pressure on. Be West Philly in the house. 3.29.22 We all like to think we can relate, know what goes on and then crazy shit like this happens and we walk it back. Nope. Got to move on. 4.9.22 The more you read me, the more you might misunderstand, judge…I’m okay with that. I’ll keep plugging away. You do you. I’m not hating. They need you to watch. I’m not like that. |
We shun what’s real, buy over-manufactured crap from a slick, plastic molder with more capital, warehouses to the stiffs walking in, walking out; so easy, a child could make, for pennies on American dollars, shipped across borders, shores. So, lace them, and button up, flash you fashion and grin how clever money. Now, give. 4.6.22 |
As I wander, cloud a divergent lane -- two paths could be taken, but I-I drift, having harvested the succulence, in a season fruitful, labored and dying winter white. My essence could burst, yet, not a drop yet to drink. Spared, until some corner field famished, I arrive, flow free. Tread softly as I die, gentle, knowing, better to have lived and not lost. The only question, can you harvest a lonely dream, as the death of me? With water rising everywhere, surging to sea, mellow mists frost, freeze in divergent air. Breathe free and know me there, and from my own true path in life, what I've seen, transparent, floating like me over hills and mounts, a field golden sprung, edged by unfolding trees. A crowd seeds, inspires fluttering, dust and dancing beside a clear lake leveled, after the thaw comes. 4.6.22 21 lines, free verse inspired by quotes of great poets to celebrate National Poetry Month: https://www.oxford-royale.com/articles/famous-lines-poetry/ Lost ▼ |
The tether thins with weather, with age Don't let me off that leash. Who knows where I'll roam. The dog house is always haven here Don't let me out of my den Who knows where I'll roam The collar signifies my worth, owned. Don't ever let me go free, because who knows where I'll roam. The night captures its animal freed The moon consumes my dull eyes The stars shine for some reason why The days erode, barely connect a life The sun shuns my confused eyes A lone star burns for some reason why The endless life meanders beyond youth The earth spins fast for slow eyes Dirt severed, receives for some reason, why? 4.5.22 |
what does it matter? they don’t notice a boy who hides in shadows past their egress in a harrowing hallway to the rear stairs no one takes at recess... they could access to find him acting out last night's episodes: from dinner table to television fare to the hero he needs be, for others unselfishly, brazenly acting a colorful fool, running down his street, blue blanket, neck-tied on the steps, quiet, but buzzing fluorescence, where a tall wall rises to meet the same ceiling lingers amid potent dust never cleaned that he puts his face right on to feel cool, smooth laminate, cheek-tacked when the bell torments his reality returning. why does it matter that they don't notice a boy alone in the shadows with fears blocking egress to their escape to any exit that will do, to recess, access 4.5.22 |
Bedding that soothed a sweaty head served many purposes when I needed to avoid him in the bunkbed or wall closet, with blanket bus or fortress of solitude in plaster, devouring well worn comics, and Brach's pix-a-mix stolen from her secret stash in the cupboard. However, in memory, no more is that sanctuary. The freshest escape, summer day, true freedom came beneath the clothesline with her wooden pins. This woman who saved me from a dark cell, savior, with bleached skin and heavy fragrance breathing from her bosom, sheltered me within musty comforters and quilts to never be found. I celebrate, a solitary boy, absorbing filtered light, within the actions of painted panels with heroes made green, made of stone, ugly outside like the boy dreamed his reality until soft delusion. Wherever I tack my sheets, safely divided from him. Quill Nominated Best Poetry Collection two consecutive years, 2020 and 2021. |